The Secret Origin of the Orange Roundie

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(We’re subletting this apt for the month of September, and the chick took off with her modem. She brought it back today, and the first thing we do before the 52 straight hours of catch-up reading on our RSS? Post here – so ptthhhffft.

Oh, and another thing re: the comments in the last post. If you want to know what’s happening with WSM?, just freaking email us. It’s not like it’s some big secret, it’s just we don’t talk about it on here because a) there’s no reason to, and b) people just assume we’re lying/hyping/it sucks, etc.)

Now that we’re back up-to-date on reasons everyone hates us, let’s talk OKC Thunder basketball.

It’s not like the name totally sucks.

It does and everything, but is Marshalls or Barons that much better? Well, they are, but the real problem here is the logo makes us think of nothing but that awful DET Lasers thing from the late 90s with the horsey.

We get the feeling this team is gonna have six logos in their first ten years, provided they ever get more than thirty people working for them, including players.

Okay, we got nothing else for now – we just wanted to post something so you knew we were alive. This chick also doesn’t have cable, so we literally have no idea what’s going on in the world.

On the plus side – we got a ton of work done this week, as we spent ungodly amounts of time not wasting time on the internet.

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We love this pick for McCain’s VP – if you really need to make a splash, pick someone the vast majority of the country has never heard of.

That way, everyone just assumes she’s got like some special quality that only a presidential candidate can assess and discover. This is because most people won’t bother to read up her at all, like us.

There’s the real trickery, though – we DID read up on her. In fact, we read a whole four paragraphs into the MSNBC article.

Not only is she governor of Alaska…not only is she 44…but then there’s this.

“I’ve been blessed with the right timing here,” Palin said before the election. “There’s no doubt that Alaskans right now are dealing in an atmosphere of distrust of government and industry. I’m also have wicked skills on a computer, and I’m a vampire! I vant to suck your blood!”

We’re totally down with this, because we’ve always wanted to be a vampire. Like we watched Interview With the Vampire, and we’re all like, “Why is Brad Pitt so upset? That’s like the best life!”

Plus, this woman knows how to use a computer, so she can check McCain’s email for him.

Truthfully, we think McCain just picked her because he thinks she’s a young girl. Like, when we were in high school, 21-year old girls seemed like they’d probably been around the block fifty times.

Now, they seem so young and innocent! We’re sure this moves along at a relative scale once you’re 86 years old like him – he’s just like, “Hey girl, you want an outside chance at being a vampire president in case I die? Yeah, come sit on my lap, baby.”

You can expect much more hard-hitting political analysis in the days ahead. So far, everything we know aboot the election is in the last two posts, but we’re gonna try and pick up every bit of info we can, without trying too hard. Promise.

(Actually, looking at her, she was probably pretty freaking hot when she was younger. We might actually be right on this!)

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First off, we’re assuming today is actually the first day we’ve ever written aboot Manu, because this is the first time we’ve noticed the first “i” in his name.

Yes, we always thought it was “Ginobli”, clearly a residual effect from listening to Charles Barkley over the years.

Anyway, those of you who don’t like this San Antonio Spur are in for a full and luxurious day – he’s officially having surgery on that ankle he re-messed up in the OLY. (The link is on Hoopshype – we can’t fathom anyone wanting to read an entire article aboot Manu, but you can if you want.)

“There’s not a set date for the surgery; I don’t know which doctor will do it, but there’s one thing sure and it’s that I have to do it,” Manu Ginobili said. “Today my ankle doesn’t hurt when I walk, but it does when I try to jump or run. In these cases, the recovery period is 6-8 weeks.”

This is 3rd world medicine, people – Manu is just going to get up one day, find some random doctor, and have surgery.

The funny thing aboot that is, we don’t even think Argentina is a 3rd world country – it has like fully functioning cities, and rivers, and everything. There’s Argentina City, and Argentina Heights, Argentina Falls, Lower Argentina, and we’re almost sure the entire city of Lexington, Kentucky was transported there last April.

In other news, we were pretty pumped with the whole Barack Obama speech last night – he was short and direct, and any time you watch someone say “thank you” 97 times to 76,000 people, it’s pretty inspiring.

We may even vote in this election, although CA is always Democratic. so there’s probably not much point to it. That said, we do want to register our distaste for John McCain – anyone who doesn’t know how to use a computer is completely out of touch, and we don’t want someone like that running the USA.

Here are the latest additions to the movie list(s):

Sleeping With the Enemy, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Conspiracy Theory, Stepmom, Runaway Bride, Erin Brockovich, The Mexican, Charlie Wilson’s War, Cool World, A River Runs Through It, Legends of the Fall, The Devil’s Own, Meet Joe Black, Troy, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

We went ahead and ran through all the Julia Roberts and/or Brad Pitt films we hadn’t added yet – “Stepmom” hit the bottom 10 – congrats!

Does anyone else mix up “Legends of the Fall” and “A River Runs Through It”, btw? Same thing with “The Devil’s Own” and “Spy Game” – one is “Pitt/Redford thriller”, the other “Pitt/Ford thriller”. Like we know which is which, but we always have to take a moment to think about it.

Just to give you an idea of the type of movie we like, there’s a new trailer floating around for “Fast and Furious”, aka “The Fast and the Furious 4″.

We think it looks great. The idea of re-teaming Paul Walker and Vin Diesel, then presenting it like it’s been 20 years in the making? This is the best – we’re like, “Yeah – it’s about time!”

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Boy, we were gonna abandon the blog again forever, but then the toilet “humor” broke out in the comments section of the last post, and we had to come back. In truth we’ve been traveling again, and really had nothing to say about Team USA, which is all that was going on.

Reasons we didn’t write aboot Team USA’s exploits any further:

(Insert generic statement about how Team USA has been killing everyone and is really focused here.)

(Insert generic statement about how that doesn’t mean they can underestimate Argentina here.)

(Back up with assorted statistics here.)

(Make prediction of Team USA winning (but be careful!) here.)

(Insert closing quip about the Chinese loving Kobe, or perhaps smog, here.)

Seriously, we feel bad for like ESPN’s Chris Sheridan – he was getting killed by readers in the comments, but the truth of the matter is, there was nothing to say about this team that didn’t get said by 50 other news outlets and/or blogs, every single hour.

In short, the NBA (and sports) blogosphere has reached MARKET SATURATION. Bloggers interviewing bloggers, who in turn interview readers, and then interview bloggers about the readers.

Plus, game recaps and stats, often with the inclusion of bad jokes. We don’t know the solution – we actually like blogging, but if we continue to do it here, we feel compelled to blog about sports, which we don’t want to do. Maybe a career wherein we pretend to blog about sports and instead just bet online on sports is the way to go? That way, instead of writing about sports, we’re writing about thinking about sports, which we in turn use to fuel our gambling.

Here are the latest movie list(s) adds:

Tropic Thunder, Glory, Ricochet, Crimson Tide, The Siege, The Hurricane, Training Day, John Q, Inside Man, Beverly Hills Cop, Beverly Hills Cop II, Beverly Hills Cop III, The Last Boy Scout, Spy Game, Alien, Aliens, Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise, Cool Hand Luke

We knocked our first movie off the “NEED TO WATCH” list with Cool Hand Luke (#123), which we watched on the plane. It was good, but like most older movies, went a little slow for us. Also not much of a plot, but really good acting. And it’s true – we’ve never seen Alien OR Aliens – we’re not sure how this happened.

SPECIAL NOTE: We’re ramping up another project, which in all likelyhood, you’ll see way before WSM?. How funny is that?

QUESTION: Did any of the 5000 NBA blogs that all seem the same figure out why some of the Spanish players just had their first names on the back of their jerseys? At first we thought it was just Ricky Rubio because he’s underage, but then we saw some other guys like that, too.

RIP: Kevin Duckworth. Jerome Kersey and Buck Williams are sad this week.

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Here’s a bunch of things we decided to think while we were thinking about things:

- We’re really glad that small blond American with the Russian name won the gold in the gymnastics thing lasterday. She is 5-2, 98 pounds.

- We’re really unglad that there’s a new Star Wars movie out we don’t want to see. As many males in our age range can, we’re able to go on for several hours about what’s wrong with the whole Star Wars thing at this point.

Besides just general quality, the best thing George Lucas could do is stop bleeding the Skywalker era. Even if this new cartoon were as bad as it’s purported to be, if it were set like 1000 years previous or something, at least it would feel a little new and different.

- We just watched Matt Lauer interview Michael Phelps’ agent/manager, and he’s doing quite the sell job on his client.

The following isn’t to take anything away from what Phelps is doing – we’re watching, and the accomplishments/medals/records are way impressive. He’s really good at his swimming – the best ever.

BUT, when manager person starts saying things like, “Michael Phelps will have the same impact on the world with his swimming as Michael Jordan did with basketball,” we have to start throwing out lettered points of contra:

a) You can’t round up your buddies and go “play some swimming”. Even if you have access to a pool, you can hardly clear it out, set up lanes, and run races. Even if you could do that, then what do you do? “All right! 200m butterfly! Yeah! That lap was just like Phelps!”

b) Take away the clock and the green world record line, and would you have any clue if what he was doing was exceptional? When Jordan would do certain things, you just knew you were seeing something amazing that nobody else could do. Every single swimming race for all time looks exactly the same. Even world record setting ones – you’re talking fractions of a second.

c) Michael Phelps is only competing high profile once every four years. If anyone can tell us when the next time we’ll see him compete after this week is, you get a prize.

d) Short freaky legs.

e) Imagine a kid coming into school with the new Jordans. Now imagine same kid coming into school with the new “Phelps swim tights”.

Again, what he’s doing is amazing, and we know his rep is just trying to sell it up, but c’mon.

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Ball Don’t Lie has a bunch of stuff related to the new Vitamin Water ads for (a portion of) Team USA, and as you can see, Dwight Howard once again is all Superman’d up.

We don’t know why this didn’t occur to use earlier, but isn’t it a little offensive that Dwight has kinda assumed this handle/theme while Shaq is still in the NBA?

Shouldn’t he not only refrain from using it now, but wait something like 25 years?

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(We’re watching Greece-USA at the moment. Do they not have weight rooms in Greece? All these players look like they should be on the 1982 Milwaukee Bucks.)

The day after the Cavaliers actually made a move that could be defined as a legit “swindle”, and we’re both happy and a little scared.

Let’s read Hollinger’s take on the trade, and excerpt this little bit.

Never let it be said that the Cavs won’t spend money to make sure LeBron James stays put in Cleveland.

We know we’ve said we don’t care whether LeBron stay or goes, and we still don’t.

However, this storyline is just getting annoying – is it so hard to just say, “Never let it be said that the Cavs won’t spend money to make their team better”?

That’s what this is about. Otherwise, where are the accompanying sentences about how the Nets and Knicks haven’t done anything this week to attract LeBron?

Cause they haven’t. And they’re both really bad teams. Unless, of course, LeBron leaving has nothing to do with winning, in which case the blockquoted sentence is also invalid.

Either way, that’s an incorrect and wasted sentence, and that’s an objective opinion.

Getting back to actual trade analysis, the potential problem with this deal is Coach Mike.

Considering he has the most dangerous offensive basketball weapon in the world, and has no idea how to use him, we’re not sure adding an offensive specialist in Mo Williams is going to do anything at all.

Will he even put up with him, considering he’s not exactly known as a defense-loving player? Hopefully this was just the bi-product of being in Milwaukee, but that still doesn’t address the Coach Mike thing.

We have no idea how this will go, but we’ll recommend the same thing we’ve recommended for like 3 or 4 years now – post up Lebron more, and hire an offensive coordinator.

Here are some more movies on the list(s).

Mean Girls, Kingpin, Wayne’s World, No Country For Old Men, Indecent Proposal, Be Kind Rewind, Doc Hollywood, LA Story, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Shallow Hal, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Mars Attacks!, Money Train, The Jackal (1997), Anger Management, Wag the Dog, The Ladies Man, Wayne’s World 2, Bio-Dome, Evolution, The X-Files, Shooter, A Prairie Home Companion, Coneheads, Orange County, Chaplin

The highest of these was Mean Girls at #153, so this wasn’t the most prestigious batch of films. Most of them we’d call average. Some bad – Coneheads made the bottom 10.

And for the record, we refuse to ever see Amazing Grace and Chuck.

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How in the world are the Danny Ferry haters going to bash him on this one?

He gets rid of Damon Jones and Joe Smith for Mo Williams, a young scoring PG who is, quite frankly, perfect to put next to LeBron James.

(We don’t mourn the loss of Smith – he’s a nice solid vet, but replaceable.)

Just a few weeks ago, we were all slightly angsty about why the Cavs couldn’t get in on one of these sweet garbage-for-good deals with a team looking to dump some salary.

And now they’ve done it. Finally, finally, finally, finally, finally. The article even says they’re still gonna try and retain Delonte West, as well.

Y’know, maybe our life isn’t so perfect after all – now it’s MORE than perfect.

We’re gonna go throw a bunch of movies on the list(s) now.

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Andre Igoudala, according to reports, has reached terms with the Seventy-Sixers, but the big news today is that MIL legitimate point guard Mo Williams could be going to the Cavaliers, if you’re into rumor-mongering. (Vin Diesel is teh gey.)

As you all know, the CLE basketball team has been looking for a legitimate point guard since Terrell Brandon died, so having a real rumor aboot getting legitimate point guard Mo Williams is exciting indeed.

He can score, he’s young, AND he makes a ton of money – we see no downside here. We didn’t even read the article we were so excited, but it looks like all they’d give up is Delonte (sign/trade) and Joe Smith, which means we still have Wally’s expiring deal to play with in February.

In other news, have you read this Michael Phelps swimming person’s diet? All he eats is like 9000 calories worth of garbage, every single day. Can you imagine how good he’d be if he actually fed his body healthy food?

By the way, we have a new Olympic sport we want to see: OLD WEST SHOOTOUT. You could totally do it with paintball or pellet guns, or even actual bullets, for the athletes with really strong abs.

Nothing new on the list today, but we watched Shooter, with the actor Mark Wahlberg. We have no idea who framed who, or what was what, or why Danny Glover was so angry all the time. The actor Mark Wahlberg mumbled a lot, which didn’t help with the movie watching.

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