YAYsports! NBA

Ever since we bought that ABA team whose name we can’t remember, we’ve been trying to get Joe Johnson. However, for the Atlanta Hawks to pay him $70M over 5 years, while giving away two 1st rounders in the process, is insane. Why? Because Joe Johnson is a good, but ultimately average player. If he wasn’t, he’d have a name like Laser Proudstar or Zap Paycheck, not “Joe Johnson”. Sam Amico, a YAYbasketball! favorite and legitimate expert, happens to agree with us.

This is going to kill Atlanta down the line, but we feel worse for Joe. We remember when we were kids, running around the playground pretending to be pro basketball players. We started out on the swings, jumping off and flying high through the air, just like Michael Jordan…

Then we’d pretend to climb into our pretend limos and pretend to field pretend cell calls from our pretend bitches, while we pretended to get high as hell on some pretend smoke we pretended to steal from my pretend brother. We would always be Dominique Wilkins, and Joe was always Byron Scott. As he said at the time, “I just want to be a good player on a great team in the desert, with a dopey Canadian point guard with unkept, greasy hair, a young phenom named Amare, and a great player who went to college in Vegas and then went to the NBA, where he was always underappreciated and involved in trade rumors.” You had all your dreams, Joe! You had it all!