Eva Longoria has a tattoo on an “intimate” part of her body of Tony Parker’s initials.
“You can see [three] of my tatts, they’re all on public display, but the one that has Tony’s initials is only seen by him,” she reveals.
“I’m not saying where it is – but let’s just say he gets to view it on a very regular basis!”
The funniest thing about this is how bad of a typist we are. That originally said “Evan” Longoria, then we figured nobody would buy that rumor, since we’ve posted all those pictures of TP and Eva at the beach.
Really, there’s only two assumption we can make on this: it hurt and we’re reluctantly jealous of Tony Parker. Like, A LOT reluctant and A LOT jealous.
At last we’ve come to the end of our 2005-06 NBA Preview, and somehow we managed to do it on the exact day before the season starts. Dumb luck? Crafty math? Both?
Regardless, we finish with the worst, and most boring, team in the entire league. How boring are they? So much so that we literally have come up with nothing to say about them, forcing us to rehash the questions San Antonians are asking about their beloved Spurs.
1. Will there be enough minutes for everyone?
Of course.
2. Will Manu Ginobili repeat as an All-Star?
Yeah.
3. Is this an experienced team? Or just an old one?
Yes to the first, no to the second.
4. Will the Spurs ever become good free-throw shooters?
Does it matter?
5. Will Duncan ever wear a sport coat?
They don’t even touch on the championship question! It’s like a given, and they’re teasing us all with it. We’re burnt out just thinking about the Spurs – there’s nothing interesting, controversial, or funny about them. We surrender, ending our preview with a whimper.
Predicted record: 0-82
We’ve been excited about this since it was announced last month, and finally, it’s NBA Week on Wheel of Fortune. Here’s the full schedule:
Monday, October 31
Richard Jefferson — New Jersey Nets
Luke Walton — L.A. Lakers
Bill Walton (Hall of Fame) — Portland Trail Blazers
Tuesday, November 1
Emeka Okafor — Charlotte Bobcats
Ben Gordon — Chicago Bulls
Richard “Rip” Hamilton — Detroit Pistons
Wednesday, November 2
Ray Allen — Seattle Sonics
Becky Hammon — New York Liberty
Mike Bibby — Sacramento Kings
Thursday, November 3
Baron Davis — Golden State Warriors
Carmelo Anthony — Denver Nuggets
Kenny Smith — Houston Rockets (legend)
Friday, November 4
Robert Horry — San Antonio Spurs
Bobby Simmons — Milwaukee Bucks
Amare Stoudemire — Phoenix Suns
MNF is making sure we’re not seeing tonight’s edition here in our city. Wednesday’s Mike Bibby appearance should be good, although the obvious highlight is Thursday. Kenny will try too hard to be funny, Baron will let his beard spin the Wheel, and of course our love for all things Melo is well documented.
We’ll be appearing on AOL’’s Sportsbloggers Live this afternoon, so if you’ve ever wondered what angelic voice you should imagine when reading this blog, now’s your chance. It should also be interesting to see how they handle the transition/letdown from “NBA All-Star Dwyane Wade” to “The Cavalier from YAYsports!”
Although we’ve been told the topic of the day is the start of the NBA season, we’ve also prepared an extensive analysis of other topics like the bottled water industry, brick-laying techniques, and the little-known and scandal filled history of Life cereal. The shows are archived, so if you can’t listen live, check it out sometime this week – they do an excellent job.
Sactown Royalty is being highly critical of one of the local columnists for their story about Mike Bibby and his boys starting fights in local bars. R.E. Graswich says that the Kings PG and his “fight crew” are no longer welcome at certain Scaramento bars.
We see where Royalty is coming from on this, but us? We figure this is why 78% of the internet exists; to spread news about bar fights and talk about famous people getting into trouble.
The nightclub owner who witnessed a brawl where Kings guard Mike Bibby was present last month is “100 percent sure” the basketball player did not throw a punch. “It was his boys, Team Dime, the guys who hang with him,” said Danny Torza, co-owner of Harlow’s and the MoMo Lounge on Jay Street. “We had nine security people there, and I told Bibby to get his guys under control and get them out of there. They are not welcomed back.”
Several members of Bibby’s party fought with a customer, giving him a “fat lip,” Torza said, before security broke up the battle. “We brought the guy into the office and kept him there until Bibby and his crew left,” Torza said. “Some of them were still hanging around outside, so our security people escorted the victim to his car and he left.” Cops interviewed Bibby, but he is not listed as a suspect, police said. “We have always had a good relationship with the Kings,” Torza said. “It’s a shame when we have to say a Kings player is no longer welcome.”
The Bloods. The Crips. Biff Tannen. Team Dime. Awesome.
We wonder how long it will be before Peja’s boys from Down With the P and Team Dime rumble. And what about Brad Miller? Isn’t he like in the Team Skoal gang or something? And people say Sacramento is boring!
It never hurts to find out what Dennis Rodman is up to now and then, and today has been no different. Not only is Dennis signed up to play for the ABA’s Tijuana Dragons, but now we stumble upon the fact that he’s also the Commissioner of the Lingerie Bowl.
It’s a little sad that these are the best things he can do to promote his new book, of which Hoopshype has an excerpt. In it, Rodman explains why Dennis thinks he may be the best rebounder of all time.
The Rebound Rate measures “the percentage of missed shots a player rebounded” when he was in the game. My percentage is 23.44. That means that when I was on the floor, I pulled down about one out of every four rebounds that came off the rim. That’s fucking amazing. One out of four balls that pop off that rim, consistently, every night. That’s unbelievable even to me. No wonder I rank number one, all time.
Numbers don’t lie. So let’s get down to it with some tried and true, traditional stats that will tell you exactly where Dennis Rodman ranks. Bottom line? I am not the best rebounder of all time. That’s pretty much a dead heat between Wilt Chamberlain, who reportedly averaged 22.9 rebounds per game for his career — unreal — and six times averaged 24 or more during the regular season; and Bill Russell, who averaged 22.5 for his career, including seven straight seasons of 23 or more. Again, that’s unreal. These two giants got almost 10 rebounds a game more than I did. My career average of 13.1 puts me at number 12 all time, which brings me back to Rebound Rate, the percentage of available rebounds a player pulls down. How do Wilt and Bill Russell compare? Wilt places seventh, and — I find this hard to believe — Russell doesn’t even make the top 50. Could be a mistake there. But if you’re looking for somebody to crunch the numbers, this phys-ed major is not your boy. There’s one number I do understand though: number one. And after 58 years of NBA play, that’s where I rank for Rebound Rate.
Interesting argument, but if we’re going to cough up 24 bucks for that book, we’re going to need to know the exact ratio of statistics stories to Carmen Electra-having-sex-in-limos stories. If it’s anything less than 96% stats, count us out. If there’s one thing we love, it’s stats.
Dear Diary,
It’s me, Kirston! Your favorite Indiana Pacemate! Who else would it be, right? xoxo
Today was not a good day, Diary. (Why do I do that?! Blech!) Well…I had to tell Boomer about Bowser today. Now that Ron is back and the season is starting, I just don’t have time for two boyfriends! I wish Mr. Walsh and Mr. Bird would listen to us when we say that having both of these cuties here is just too much for us Pacemates to take, but they’re too busy teaching Sarunas Jasikevicius (I don’t know how to say it! Shut up!) the offense and how to get around the city and stuff.
So like I said, I told Boomer, and he was all “Ruff ruff ruff ruff! Ruff, ruffruffruff! RUFF!!!!” I was so mad but he was right! I’m a bad girlfriend! But just look at Bowser! I told you I wouldn’t be able to resist! Jermaine and Stephen and Fred and even Coach Carlisle were laughing, but they laugh at everything they’re all so excited for this year. I wish Reggie was still here – he would tell me what to do. Oh well, I guess I’ll talk to you later, diary…
Who has two mascots, anyway!?!?!? xoxoxox
Kirston
Predicted record: 24-58
Nobody likes being traded to the worst and most displaced team in the league, and Desmond Mason is no exception. It didn’t take him long to hop on local radio and rip into Bucks GM Larry Harris.
In an interview with radio host Steve Haywood, Mason said: “It’s hard for me to say this about somebody, but Larry’s a snake. He’s a snake in the grass. I thought my situation with Seattle (being traded to the Bucks in 2003) was tough.
“The magnitude of things that Larry Harris told me this summer, this season, all those things. I mean, he told me a lie to my face.”
We feel bad for anyone who has to go play for the Hornets. Desmond Mason has always seemed like one of those good guys who never really gets credit for being anything more than a leaper, so we don’t like seeing him get shafted like this. Plus, he knows his animal kingdom hierarchy, i.e. snakes = bad and mean. If there’s any positive to take from this, it gives the already epic New Orleans/Oklahoma City vs. Milwaukee battles some extra juice.
Rosen is on a roll, this time 
