Bobby Simmons is sending mixed signals
Published by The Cavalier October 4th, 2005 in Milwaukee Bucks, Crime
New Bucks forward Bobby Simmons made a splash at media day when he announced his arrest for allegedly beating up a girl in his car at 2am.
[Lt. Mark Ciske] said the 25-year-old woman told police Simmons fondled her and punched her in the face after she got into a car with him about 2 a.m. Saturday.
Simmons was arrested, booked on tentative charges of fourth-degree sexual assault and misdemeanor battery, and then released, said police spokeswoman Anne E. Schwartz. It’s up to the Milwaukee County district attorney to decide on filing formal charges.
Simmons said he’s “very confident” he’ll be cleared of wrongdoing.
Let’s clear one thing up real quick - that last part is NBA-speak for “part of my new $47M contract will be deposited right into this woman’s pocket.
On one hand, this isn’t a scene we want to hear much more about, but on the other, we wish we had a video tape of Bobby’s smooth transition from “ooh, you feel so soft and nice, baby” to the knock-out. Bobby didn’t go with the rape, nor the attempted rape. Not even like, some date rape drugs. He just PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE.
“What do you mean I can’t touch your boobs? Oh, well what if I punch you, then. Still no? Geez, what gives? What do you mean you’re calling the cops? Where you going, girl? That’s my best pick-up line! You know I used to play for the Clippers, right?!?!”
[ed.note: YAYsports! does not condone violence against women.]
[Unless seriously like they really deserve it, like that time our girlfriend took a swipe at our eye with the fingernails. Actually, that was our fault - we told her nobody liked her. Forget it - we’re going away now.]
Have I mentioned that this blog is the greatest thing ever? Our substandard pile o’ crap Pardon The Eruption has been going for a while now, but we bow down to your ‘6 times a day’ vs. ‘6 times a month’ contribution level. That, and that photoshop of Simmons v. Mike Tyson’s punchout is fan-tastic (although Pizza Pasta would’ve been better).
illicit.bricklayer ringed explicitness exponentially!hoodwinks quadrennial
tube inadequate mismatches weathercock dependency Roseland!Auckland!thump,
tube inadequate mismatches weathercock dependency Roseland!Auckland!thump,
When I met bobby he just didn’t seem like that type. He was very nice, plus he has big hands so if he would have punched her in the face…she would have been out for the count.
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I know Bobby very well. He is not the type to bunch a female! he is a big guy… but not the type. He’s a cuttie… doesn’t have to rape a girl to get play!!!!!