It never hurts to find out what Dennis Rodman is up to now and then, and today has been no different. Not only is Dennis signed up to play for the ABA’s Tijuana Dragons, but now we stumble upon the fact that he’s also the Commissioner of the Lingerie Bowl.
It’s a little sad that these are the best things he can do to promote his new book, of which Hoopshype has an excerpt. In it, Rodman explains why Dennis thinks he may be the best rebounder of all time.
The Rebound Rate measures “the percentage of missed shots a player rebounded” when he was in the game. My percentage is 23.44. That means that when I was on the floor, I pulled down about one out of every four rebounds that came off the rim. That’s fucking amazing. One out of four balls that pop off that rim, consistently, every night. That’s unbelievable even to me. No wonder I rank number one, all time.
Numbers don’t lie. So let’s get down to it with some tried and true, traditional stats that will tell you exactly where Dennis Rodman ranks. Bottom line? I am not the best rebounder of all time. That’s pretty much a dead heat between Wilt Chamberlain, who reportedly averaged 22.9 rebounds per game for his career — unreal — and six times averaged 24 or more during the regular season; and Bill Russell, who averaged 22.5 for his career, including seven straight seasons of 23 or more. Again, that’s unreal. These two giants got almost 10 rebounds a game more than I did. My career average of 13.1 puts me at number 12 all time, which brings me back to Rebound Rate, the percentage of available rebounds a player pulls down. How do Wilt and Bill Russell compare? Wilt places seventh, and — I find this hard to believe — Russell doesn’t even make the top 50. Could be a mistake there. But if you’re looking for somebody to crunch the numbers, this phys-ed major is not your boy. There’s one number I do understand though: number one. And after 58 years of NBA play, that’s where I rank for Rebound Rate.
Interesting argument, but if we’re going to cough up 24 bucks for that book, we’re going to need to know the exact ratio of statistics stories to Carmen Electra-having-sex-in-limos stories. If it’s anything less than 96% stats, count us out. If there’s one thing we love, it’s stats.
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