At least it looks like it. Excuse the virtual confetti – we took this right from the website for Paul Pierce’s karaoke bar, the Alley Cat. Paul celebrated his birthday there last week in conjunction with the grand opening.
Anyway, despite the picture above and persistant rumors of being a hard-partying malcontent, a lengthy profile in the Boston Herald says Pierce is embracing a leadership role this year, and rumors are just that: rumors.
“Yeah, it’s out there, but the people on the team who have approached me are going on hearsay,” Pierce, on the eve of his eighth NBA season, said Monday. “I know that’s a perception people have of me, but that’s crazy. Unless you’re with me every night, you don’t know.
“I go out in Boston once every blue moon. But I do go out once and a while, and when I do, some people feel they can call me a drunk. I’m still human, and I still like to go out and enjoy my life. But a lot of that stuff is hearsay. I’m not ever out there the way some people seem to think I am.”
As long as by “once every blue moon” he really means “every night until 5:30am”, we’ll buy into this. Not that we blame him – if we owned our own karaoke bar, we’d be there singing with Doc Rivers all the time, too. Reached for a quote regarding his sometimes shaky relationship with his head coach, Pierce grabbed a mic and had this to say:
You are the sunshine of my life, yeah,
That’s why I’ll always stay around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever you’ll stay in my heart.
(background) love has joined us,
Love has joined us,
Let’s think sweet love.
We finally got around to watching MJ’s appearance on Oprah from Monday, and it’s difficult to describe how we feel. We’re a bit torn up inside. On one side, it was Oprah. On side B, it was the best hour of TV we’ve seen in weeks.
There was an incredible amount of energy in the studio, between the Star Trek bridge of a set, the adrenaline (read: amphetamines and Jolt cola) fueled audience, and the surprise appearance of Charles Barkley.
Even though Oprah kept calling him Michael Jor-DAAAWN in an attempt to be funny or dramatic or something, we totally fell for it. Oprah has a vibe she puts out: You can sit with me, but you can’t talk to me or touch me. BUT you’ll feel like you did. It’s true. Add in the obvious charisma of His Airness and Sir Charles, and by the end of this we had nothing left but a desire to buy shoes and sensitive books about relationships.
This was really a big commercial for MJ’s new book and the first edition of the Air Jordan women’s line, but it was also the Charles-and-Michael-really-are-good-buddies hour, and a lot of fun. If you can find a way to legally (read: illegally) download it, you really should.
[ed. note: in this scenario God is MJ and the Devil is Oprah. The views of the Cavalier do not necessarily reflect the views of YAYsports!, or even of the Cavalier.]
Did the Ohio LeBlog find the secret origin of Damon Jones’ superhero handshake?
Chris Duhon got a big owie and Wally World scored 19 in the TWolves’ 100-92 win over the Bulls.
Charley Rosen lists the best and worst guard tandems, but only mentions the bad stuff about his “bests”. Would you say something nice for once, old man?!?
UNC alums Raymond Felton and Sean May lead Charlotte to a 109-103 win over the Pacers, who were still wearing their pinstripes for some reason.
This is supposed to be crazy fast and cool, and we want it now.
These ESPN capsules are exhausting us. John Hollinger is officially the smartest of the bunch after picking the Cavaliers to finish second in the conference. Will Purdue (???) picks them to miss the playoffs.
TrueHoop plays marketing man and commercial director. We like this idea.
TNT kicks off coverage tonight with Orlando vs Miami at 7:30 and PHXvGS@10:30.
USA Today wins the redundancy award for their extraordinary Sheryl Swoopes headline.
The Washington Times writes a scathing article about Michael Jordan, and we vow never to read that filthy rag again.
JE Skeets has a link to Toro Magazine’s Steve Nash article, where we’re horrified by this picture, confused by this picture, and pressed to confront this quote:
One part Wayne Gretzky, one part David Beckham, and one part philosopher king, Steve Nash, the NBA’s most valuable player, isn’t just redefining the modern pro athlete. He’s making basketball beautiful again.
What is everyone going to be saying about Steve Nash in January when PHX is hovering just below .500, he’s sitting out with an injury, and we get word Amare won’t be back until April? We like Steve, but c’mon.
Dear Officer Shaq,
I hate to bother you with my petty problems, especially when you have the season starting next week and all. I would never bring this to you unless I thought it was absolutely necessary.
Before you say no, let me just tell you how excited myself, my husband, and the three kids are about the changes the Heat have made. We couldn’t believe you managed to unload that gimpy Eddie Jones for all of these new players! Our neighbor Jack is worried, but we keep telling him you will make Jason Williams and Antoine Walker not crazy anymore! Jack is silly – he’s from Boston!
We’re sure that when you fire Coach Van Gundy, it will be the right move. Please don’t be too hard on Mr. Riley! Dwyane Wade is another favorite of ours, but nobody compares to you. We call you “The Big Friendly” around here! 
Anyway, enough of my rambling! About that problem I mentioned…
My house is being bombarded by flaming Miami Heat logos and I simply don’t know what to do. Could you come stand next to me and block them?
Sincerely,
Jane Massey
Miami Beach
———————-
Dear Jane,
No problem.
Shaq
P.S. I hate Kobe.
Predicted record: 25-57
Chris Sheridan, the new man on planet ESPN, has a lengthy sit-down with David Stern posted this morning, wherein we hear his thoughts on the public’s view of the NBA and some “dress code” thing. We also get a peek into the silent, deadly methods employed by the man who inspired EXPLOSIONS.
“We’ve gotten more ink on the dress policy than the preseason,” Stern told ESPN.com. “But that shouldn’t surprise us. Magic Johnson, Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, Latrell Sprewell, Allen [Iverson's] rap record. It’s the NBA, we’re an accelerator, and actually, that’s OK. We’re live, unscripted drama. We’re a soap opera, on the court and off the court.”
“The majority of [players say], ‘What’s the big deal? That’s the way I dress already, and that sounds fair enough. We’re all in this together.’
“But it’s such a delicious issue that it will get a lot of ink.”
Was he surprised by the way racism had been thrown into this debate?
“We like to think that we [basketball people] are the ultimate egalitarians. You know, ‘Shirts and skins and what have you got?’ And that’s been followed by our teams, who turn to whoever they think will help without regard to race. And we have a very effective business, which is based on exporting a league where the majority happens to be African-American. We feel pretty good about what we’ve been able to accomplish when all of those issues 25 years ago were hailed as likely to lead to our certain demise. So the fact that there’s an outcry about cable, or a little bit of flutter about our dress code policy, that’s the NBA. Welcome to our world.”
The Commisioner then threw up his arms, laughed viciously, and punched Sheridan in the face. The great thing about David Stern is that one day we’re going to say the wrong thing right in this very space, and the next morning, we’ll wake up, and he’ll have completely shut down YAYsports!. We’ll also be deaf for unexplained reasons. It’s going to be frightening for a moment, and then we’ll smile, because we’ll know then that we have won.
Hot on the heels of Magic Johnson’s endorsement of NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg comes this blurb that the NBA legend is pitching Celebrity Horse to the TV networks.
As broadcasters search for the next generation of reality hits, non-scripted producers are pitching as fast as they can. To wit: Phil Gurin (The Weakest Link) is teaming with ex-pro ball player Magic Johnson on Celebrity Horse. The duo reportedly will pitch the series to networks over the next several weeks.
The idea for the show is based on the playground favorite, in which opponents compete in a basketball shoot-off of sorts: One competitor shoots from a random spot on the court. If he or she makes the shot, the other competitors must follow suit. Those who miss rack up the letters H-O-R-S-E. Celeb contestants will play for charity.
Meanwhile, ABC is betting on America’s Next Muppet for a hit. Although based on contest shows like Fox’s American Idol, the project reportedly will parody the reality contest genre as well.
We really like how they threw in the Muppet thing at the end, just in case this wasn’t funny enough. While we’re all for things like the imminent Celebrity Ice Skating, exactly how do they plan to make watching Screech and Tori Spelling shoot free-throws entertaining?
We think this would be better if it were actually about a famous horse who pitches for a baseball team. Melo might even know one who’s experienced and available. Read the article again – if you try really hard to misinterpret, you can get that out of it.
The blogsphere is abuzz today with the Sheryl Swoopes story. Reaction is pretty much as expected – little surprise, peppered with lots of “good for you, hope you’re happy”. A sampling of blog headlines:
Deadspin: Swoops Pulls Back Mask on Lesbianism in the WNBA
TrueHoop: Sheryl Swoopes is Out of the Closet
Keithboykin.com: WNBA’s Sheryl Swoopes Comes Out
No Formica: She’s Coming out
SportsFilter: Sheryl Swoopes Comes Out
Moonage Webdream: Sheryl Swoopes on people being confused
Matt Hill NC: WNBA’s MVP, Houston Comets’ Swoopes comes out
Boi From Troi: Breaking: WNBA Star a Lesbian
Rod 2.0 Beta: “Tired of Having to Pretend”
YAYsports!: Sheryl Swoopes is admitting to hot lesbian action
Everyone get down and say a prayer for poor Desmond Mason, who has been traded to the Hornets for All-Star center Jamaal Magloire. Milwaukee also shipped out a 2006 first round pick and some cash.
The Bobby Simmons signing makes a lot more sense for the Bucks now, who as of today have made the Central Division LOADED. We’re a little surprised they’ve given up on Andrew Bogut already – we figured it might take like four more games.
We usually love these trades that go down right before the season, but they can be a bit unsettling when said trade completely destroys someone’s life and career. And Lo! But the Lord said that Desmond Mason was a good and just man, but the Lord hath sent him to Oklahoma City/New Orleans!
PHX training camp invitee Jared Reiner will join Paul Shirley on the Suns’ list of “self-depreciating white bench-sitters” if he can stick with the team. He’s on a non-guaranteed deal after spending time with the Bulls last season.
“As a 7-foot White guy, you got to do whatever you can to get an edge,” Reiner said.
“He’s a fine prospect that we’ve watched over the last year,” Suns President and General Manager Bryan Colangelo said.
It is a childhood dream for Reiner. He grew up in South Dakota but was a Suns and Lakers fan. He has two Valley uncles, Suns season ticket holders Chris and Randy Reiner, and two sets of grandparents here.
About 16 years ago, Jared and Chris were sitting on the baseline during a Suns game when Rony Seikaly tried to jump over Reiner and landed on him.
“The Gorilla came over because I was wearing a Lakers hat and stole my hat, threw it on the floor and didn’t give it back to me the rest of the half,” Reiner said.
If we’re lying, we’re really interested in Jared Reiner and will follow his exploits all season. If we’re being honest, this was all just an excuse to finally post that picture of Rony Seikaly’s wife we’ve been sitting on.
