The Big Voodoo is scary
Published by The Cavalier October 13th, 2005 in Injuries, The Big Voodoo, Washington Wizards
If you haven’t been paying attention, there’s something unsultry going on in the preseason. The Big Voodoo has struck again today, this time inflicting unsourced aches and pains to Gilbert Arenas and Jared Jeffries of the Washington Wizards.
All-star point guard Gilbert Arenas and forward Jared Jeffries may not play tonight when the Washington Wizards face the defending NBA champion San Antonio Spurs in a preseason game at Joel Coliseum in Winston-Salem, N.C.According to Coach Eddie Jordan, neither player is hurting from a specific injury. Rather, both veterans are feeling general soreness and might benefit from a night off.
Arenas and Jeffries…interesting choices, to be sure. We’re collecting the evidence, as authorities have told us this needs to be stopped before the regular season begins. Although we are known in some circles as the world’s greatest detective, we’re not sure why this is all our responsibility. Regardless, we’ve managed to put together a solid list of ten suspects.
(Full analysis after the jump.)
10) Amare Stoudamire - The timing of this is all curiously in-line with Amare’s injury. Could youth and anger be driving him to madness?
9) Allan Houston - Does anybody know what he’s been doing the past two years while he’s been laid up? Until someone tells us he wasn’t learning Voodoo, we’ll assume he was.
Gary Payton - Desperation for title leads to desperate measures to increase his chances.
7) Gilbert Arenas - In our book, any of the victims (except Lebron because he’s PERFECT) immediately becomes a suspect. (see: Basic Instinct)
6) Diddy - Because he’s a dildo.
5) Kobe - Always a convenient and believable villian.
4) Cece Boozer - ’nuff said.
3) Shakira - Just so we don’t look so freaking racist.
2) David Stern - Resistence to suits…meet sharp, random pains.
1) Tim Duncan - Ever notice how the killer is always the nice, innnocent one nobody would suspect? We haven’t, but we’ve heard about lots of movies like that. Plus, check out this passive-aggressive shot at David Stern’s suit policy wherein Tim uses his kindly, and highly complimentary, old coach to put his angry message across. Hmmm…
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Twistys Presents: Jana Cova
My life’s been dull. I just don’t have much to say right now, but it’s not important. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about.
I just don’t have much to say right now. Pretty much nothing seems worth doing. My mind is like an empty room. I haven’t gotten anything done these days. What can I say?