YAYsports! NBA

FreeDarko was featured over on FoxSports.com and is pontificating on fame and what it means for them. While they want to be like Zo and Kyle, they’ve picked out one man who is the antithesis of all that they are:

Tom Cruise

He is the great aversion. A hero in that he leads the forces of evil, serves as a beacon of what we plot and fight against.

Tom Cruise disgusts us. Not a day goes by that we do not bring him into our thoughts, knowing that he is exactly what we do not want to become. He is that bloody albatross around our necks, signifying the cutting dual edge of great fame - promised by talent, not past corruption and perversion.

We’ve wondered for some time where exactly that line is between us and FreeDarko. For awhile we thought it was the difference between cheap jokes and expensive ones, but as most things do, it all comes down to Maverick.

Whereas FreeD looks at the Cruise and sees only a twisted sell-out of a potential talent, we see the pinnacle of achievement. Like Tom, we want to be so goddamn rich that we can literally lose our minds, creating devil-babies in the wombs of young overrated actresses merely by thinking about it. We want to buy a helicoptor, crash it on purpose, and be so bat-shit insane that we laugh as we buy another one, fully intending to run that one into the side of a mountain, too.

Put in simpler words, FreeDarko has integrity, while we will sell out as soon as possible, and probably for trivial reasons. If we’re being totally honest, what this post was really all about was an attempt to sound deep, so that someone would send us a free XBox 360, like all those gadget/tech blogs get.

Seriously, c’mon. We’ll give you the address - it can be here by Friday if you hustle. Or hey, Nike - we’re looking at you - how about some LeBron Zoom IIIs? We’ll talk ‘em up even if we don’t like them.