Apparently rumors of our vast analytical powers have spread far and wide across the internet and the world. Reader Clark sent in this query:
I wanted to ask you a question. If you owned a team in the NBA, and you had the first pick in the draft. Your top prospects in that draft were Shaq and Kareem, whom would you pick and why? Please feel free to send in depth analysis. I respect your opinion, and look forward to your response.
First of all, if we owned an NBA team, we’d be in a hot tub with a bunch of strippers and leave the draft to one of our high school friends who may or may not know anything about basketball. Luckily, we have a built-in feature for things like this. (We have an actual answer at the end, as well.)
Well, that was easier than expected – looks like you take Calvin Booth!
Seriously though – we’d take Kareem. Assuming Shaq continues to wear down at his current rate, you get Kareem for a much longer period of time. He’s also much more versatile than Shaq in terms of what you can do offensively. Shaq may be more “dominant”, but Kareem was simply better.
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Shaq-Fu or Kareem kicking at Bruce Lee?
“Shaq-Fu or Kareem kicking at Bruce Lee?”
Damn, that’s a tough one. Shaq Fu’s hit-detection system means that Kareem would have to get a pretty good shot in, but using Jeet Kune Do he could do it. Then again, Billy Lo beat Hakim by blinding him with an intense light, so Shaq could use the bright reflections from this pendant to incapacitate Kareem…
In the end, I think we should just call it even and give the prize to Kevin Garnett’s “gay” crotch-shot on Francisco Elson.
Sure – Kareem may have played longer…but who cares. I worked with him when he coached the USBL team in Oklahoma a few years ago. By far the most unapproachable guy I have ever been around. Complained at every autograph signing he had to attend. Would you rather have a good time with the Big Aristotle for 10 years or be miserable for 16?
I do feel bad for Cap because his father just passed away in NYC.
Keep up the good work…love the site, always steal some of your ideas for mine.
Thanks Billy. Just so the playing field is even, we’re going to steal your car.
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