Portland and Cleveland are talking

Henry over at TrueHoop has an honest to goodness rumor that makes us sick. Inside and out – seriously.

Anyway, Blazer employee reportedly told friend, who told anonymous that (pause here to turn on your skepticism, because that’s a pretty long game of telephone we’re playing now):

The Blazers are discussing sending Ruben Patterson and Jarrett Jack to Cleveland for Donyell Marshall and Luke Jackson.

We read that thing by Brown the other day and dismissed it as Roger Brown being Roger Brown, who also once reported that Zydrunas Ilgauskas’s foot problems years ago were because of cancer. (We looked – couldn’t find it.)

Beside the fact that giving up Marshall would be suicide right now, there’s only a few people we’d rather have playing small forward for the Cavaliers less than Ruben Patterson. By pure coincidence, we have a feature for this called “People We’d Rather Have at Small Forward More Than Ruben Patterson.”

Just to make sure we clarify – yes, we’d rather they just trade for an Apple IIE and set the thing on the floor during those times Ruben Patterson would be getting minutes. More shocking than that is we’d rather have Stephon Marbury. Oh, and that “don’t”? That’s not there to say “don’t do it”. That’s there because we’d rather trade for a piece of paper that has the word don’t on it and give it minutes more than Ruben Patterson. The bonus there is you don’t even need to trade for it – anybody can make one of those. It’s easy.