Shaq is filming commercials

For the sake of the blog, and because the timing is right, we need to admit to a couple secrets. One, we have a (sort-of) girlfriend. Two, we have a “if Shaq is known to be dancing with small children within 5 miles of our house, it’s imperative that we be informed ASAP” rule. Yesterday, secret one clashed directly with secret two.

From:
To:
Subject: OMG don’t hate me
Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2005 13:44:07 -0600

i went to the gym and Shaq was there shooting a commercial!!! he had on his miami shorts and big shoes and a black jersey. they were in the basketball court. I’m not sure what the deal was, but it was him and a bunch of little kids, the kids would dance, then shaq would dance, and then everyone would laugh. everyone was bunching up around the windows so it was hard to make out but shaq is huge, duh. sorry I didn’t call you but i left my phone in the locker room. If you get mad at me I won’t have sex with you anymore haha (don’t put that part in your stupid blog)

OH! That fucking ass I told you about who keeps hitting on me was there too. i was doing tricep kickbacks and i swear to god if he had walked behind me one more time I would’ve jabbed him in the chin and knocked out his fakass looking horseteeth. great you were a extra on some WB show big fucking whoop are we still going to dinner tomorrow? if so you better eat, you are so wierd my roommate said hi and please dont use her towel again. lol you have problems.

There are probably parts of that we should’ve left out, but such is life dating the Cavalier. Anyone have pictures of this shoot? We’d have some, if SOMEBODY had called us. We’re not eating anything tonight. In fact, we’re not eating anything for the rest of the week. So there. Also, that’s great it was “hard to make out” around the window, but that’s gonna require some more explanation, i.e. who were you trying to make out with and why?

HOW COULD YOU NOT CALL US??? OMG RIGHT BACK AT YOU.

P.S. We will still have sex with you.

After the commercial-we-weren’t-informed-about-until-it-was-too-late, Shaq went to watch the Lakers squeak by the Bobcats.