As we’re about to embark on a complete overhaul of our entire life, we’re reflecting on things that are important to us. Things like bikes, and TV shows, and being cool, and water, and our spoon collection, and of course, the National Basketball Association. To be quite honest and serious, it’s a little boring this year, no? Let’s take a serious look inside.
WHAT’S GOOD
1) LeBron James leads a host of young stars who are immensely talented.
2) The actual game experience is fun, and TV coverage is about all you could ask for.
3) Scoring is up, and despite constant complaints about the refs, the gameplay itself appears to be entertaining.
3) The Cavaliers are extrememly competitive and have a bright future. This should be enough to appease us.
See what’s bad and what’s to be done about it after the jump!
WHAT’S BAD
1) Those same bevy of young stars are by-and-large boring as shit. Maybe we were raised on too much MJ and Charles Barkley, but we like some personality in our superstar athletes. Dwyane Wade is boring. Chris Bosh is a non-entity, and we couldn’t tell you the first thing about what Amare Stoudmire’s like. Carmelo Anthony is dull when he’s not making videos with horses. Dirk Nowitski? Ehh. Jermaine O’Neal? Doesn’t command our attention. Mike Dunleavy, Jr. is an exception here, but there’s only one of him.
Personally, we’d like to see more Gilbert Arenas.
2) The best player in the league is unlikable, and the next best player isn’t contending. See if you can guess who we’re speaking of.
3) The two best teams in the league, and the only two with any shot of winning it all, have the collective personality of our cell phone.
4) No rivalries. Name one that anyone outside of your home city cares about.
Here’s the biggest problem:
5) Over half of the teams in the NBA are under .500, which means the vast majority of games on any given night don’t mean a thing. The worst part of that is there are very few teams on the rise in that group. Chicago was a fluke last year, it turns out. Boston looked like an up-and-comer, but seems more like a mess every day. Toronto has nice young talent, but they’re far away from really doing anything.
Even many of the teams above .500 – you just get the sense they’re just playing the season out. The Nets are about as good as they’re going to get, now or in the future. The Pacers aren’t good enough to win it, and there’s no way they’re getting anything for Artest to put them back up there. Philly? Maxed out. Miami could be interesting, but Shaq’s not looking all that…young.
THE SOLUTION
Now…a special report should contain some kind of conclusion, or a solution or something. The only thing we can think of to make more NBA comic books.
Discuss. Here or elsewhere. It makes no difference to us, for we are humble and somewhat wise.
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Is the next best player who isn’t contending Peja? Because if it is you should change the word contending to breathing, or making his biggest fan ever happy, or playing basketball.
That’s what happens when you let everyone ever into the playoffs, and then have four thousand playoff games.
Rather than having the regular season we do, we should just, after 30 games, seed a big bracket. Each month after the first 30 games, we have a tournament. The winner of each touranment gets a free playoff win. Or something.
PLEASE make the regular season meaningful.
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