YAYsports! NBA

We’re not going to back off on our new pretend-friendship with Kobe Bryant, but we just got around to watching his appearance on Quite Frankly from last night, and “natural conversationalist” isn’t the first thing that came to mind.

There’s nothing wrong with what Kobe says and while his answers are somewhat contrived, he’s not totally rehearsed. The question then - why isn’t he as likable as a Michael Jordan, a LeBron James, or a Rik Smits?

The answer lies in his use of glowing clothes. We wish we could tell you this was an effect of using a cheap camera-phone or a cheap television or a cheap whore. Unfortunately, the TV isn’t cheap and the whore never left the kitchen.

Kobe did make one good joke. When Stephen A asked when he knew he was going for 80, Kobe came back with a quick, “Well, I had 77 and the crowd was all…”

That’s when he drifted off because the glow of his clothes was blinding him. The only other highlight of the hour was when Kobe said he’s learning Spanish and Stephen A mumbled really softly “oh yeah, oh yeah…that’s smooth, that’s smooth…” The highlight wasn’t actually the show, but us shaking our head and screaming “What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? ‘Oh yeah, oh yeah, that’s smooth?!?’ Jesus Christ.”