Before we get to the EXPLOSIONS, we need to make an announcement, as ordered by the boss-lady:
From the creators of YAYsports! comes Mary Hartz: The Excited Blog. It’s movies, TV, and celebrities, all in that same style you’ve come to loathe right here. While we feel a bit hurt that the boss’s attention is now split between us and Kim, who writes Mary Hartz, we have to admit, this new addition to the line has some merit:
1) Kim is an honest-to-goodness hot bisexual chick – one who’s not at all inhibited to talk about how she’s into other girls. She’s here in LA, we’ve met her, and we love her.
2) She does stuff like write pitches for King Kong 2 and find insane Japanese Nicholas Cage commercials.
3) In all seriousness, she found the most incredibly awesome picture of Jessica Alba we’ve ever seen – it’s one of those you just sit there and stare at, hurting inside that you can’t do anything more than look.
We have no idea what else is in store, but we’re proud to be affiliated with Mary Hartz – go check out what’s going on over there, then come back here and then go back over there, and then come back here. Let’s move on to the NBA stuff.
The LA Times Lakers blog tries to figure out what Kobe’s version of “The LeBrons” would be. Isn’t there just one – “A-Hole Kobe”?
The guy who inspired yesterday’s Timberwolves poem buries his friends alive for their birthdays.
Sonics center Robert Swift wants to go down to the NBDL.
Knicks center Jerome James has been suspended, making 99.99% of the people in the world say “I told you so, Zeke.”
Anderson Varejao is within weeks of returning to the Cavaliers, and we can’t freaking wait.
Jason Terry loves crunch time, hates things that go soggy in milk, like Life cereal. If Life could stay crunchy, you’re looking at the #1 cereal ever.
Special thanks to Ohio State for winning over Notre Dame yesterday – the emotional win inspired Maurice Clarett to turn himself in to the cops for those robbery charges.
Finally, there are two Timberwolves blogs out there, and we’re A-hole Kobes ourselves for forgetting abaout them.
GH & Petey’s Timberwolves Blog & Wolves Watch. Sorry about that, and thanks t the guy who called us “fucker” for forgetting. We deserve that.
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Is Mary Hartz some kind of weird amalgamation of Mary Hart and Mike Martz? Caused by a freak accident involving barrels of radioactive waste? Or gamma rays? Does the new Mary Hartz persona burn all of her timeouts before the 2-minute drill, too? Does she also show a wanton disregard for all things defense? Does she like to throw the ball 56 times in a game? Does her voice still make Kramer go into a seizure? If so, that’s the coolest new comic-book idea I’ve heard in a long time!
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