Mark Cuban has a deed on Phil Jackson

We had a small cropping mishapOur favorite person, Mavs owner Mark Cuban, has once again demonstrated his exceptional ability to generate easy publicity. Over on blogmaverick, he’s made the simple statement that he owns Laker coach Phil Jackson.

This all stems from Phil’s stressed out baby-talk after the Mavs beat LA the other night.

Then of course last night he again took the initiative to comment to the media about how I am such a presence in the NBA, that i turn the officials into “nervous nellies”. Implying that I can have more influence on the outcome of a game than his coaching skills. I wish. But if Phil wants to think so. Im fine with that. Thats what happens when you own someone, they cant get you out of their head, and they dont often think , speak or act rationally.

We can tell you from personal experience, owning someone in this way can be both incredibly satisfying but equally troublesome. A list of people we own like this:

1) Bruce Willis
2) Jessica Simpson
3) Jessica Simpson’s dad
4) Jessica Simpson’s dad’s secretary
5) Jessica Simpson’s dad’s secretary’s friend Bruce Willis

Damn it, 1 and 5 are the same. Now everyone knows we’re a fraud. We really only own 4 people. The only one that’s annoying is the Simpson girl, mainly because we don’t have time to have sex with her ALL DAY. That’s what she’s always like – “Let’s have sex ALL DAY.” It’s not even that she’s always saying it, it’s the way she puts the emphasis on the last two words. If she’d do it as “Let’s HAVE SEX all day” – fine. Cool.

Meanwhile, back at his estate, Mark Cuban leans back in his chair and laughs at how easy it all is. How much pub is this going to generate for Dallas? How much more attention will now be on the next Mavs-Lakers game? Why do they call games “matches” in Europe? That’s retarded!