Prince vs. Carlos Boozer is a complicated issue

We have little to no experience in actual courts of law, so we have no idea who’s going to come out on top in this Prince vs. Carlos Boozer thing.

Actually, the case was apparently dismissed already, so we guess Prince wins. Boozer does have the option to bring the case back at a future date if he wants to, so maybe he’ll win. Maybe it’s time to run some equations.

PRINCE’S EXPENSES
$70,000 (monthly rent)
$3,000 (paint)
$500 (stencils)
$4,500 (labor)
$56,000 (installation of water pipes for beauty salon)
$30,000 (dancing whores)
$15,000 (decorative whores)
$3,000 (catering)
————
$182,000

BOOZER’S EXPENSES
$120,000 (monthly tax for being a tool)
$34,000 (monthly bitch-wife tax)
————
$154,000

Now, you add those numbers together and divide by seven, you get? $48,000.

Multiply that by seven, and you come right back to the original number. Then you multiply that by seven and you get $2,352,000. The bottom line is this whole thing is costing a lot of money.

Y’know…we really wanted to tear into Booze on this whole thing, but we honestly can’t get past Prince paying $70,000 per month rent. Who the hell are your accountants? Jesus, we’re completely inept with money and even we could tell you to freaking buy something.

The Smoking Gun has the original court filings on the lawsuit – here’s the funniest page. Oh, and apparently 3121 sucks, despite the house painting promotional campaign, which ensured Prince remembered to buy his own album.