And I know you didn’t steal my joke. And even if you did it’s not funny enough to get upset about anyway. Regardless, I am still obligated to give you a wicked tittie-twister next time I see you. Which will be the first.

I’ve already called Shaun Livinsgston the next Hardaway before. It’s synonymous with people who get chronically hurt.

I don’t steal jokes – ask the Tar Heel. I won’t even take suggestions.

“And that Yao Ming. Wow, he sucks, too. He was a number 1 pick! He’s 8′ tall! He should be scoring 30 and grabbing 15 every night! And because he’s only going for 22 and 10 he is the most overrated player in the world! I don’t care that he’s only 25! He’s the suckiest suck who ever sucked! I don’t care if he played on one foot for half the season and didn’t complain! Superstars play with pain! Except for Anfernee McGrady, but he doesn’t have to because he has a signature shoe and a wry smile! He sells a bazillion jerseys! He’s got street cred! Chinese people cannot have street cred! He’s probably stealing American secrets! He’s a communist! He doesn’t put sugar in his tea! He doesn’t kiss with saliva! He has a weak hand shake! He saw Brokeback Mountain and he didn’t go with a girl! He owns plants and enjoys reading The New Yorker! He refuses to warp when playing Super Mario Bros because he considers it cheating! He spells “color” and “favorite” with those fucking superfluous u’s!”

I am obligated to challenge you to a dual.