Carlos Boozer is good

by The Cavalier on April 5, 2006 · 19 comments

carlos boozer 01.gif
One for the roadWe had a feeling this was coming when the whole Prince thing happened. This morning, it was indeed here, and we’re quite certain about it.

Scoping the box scores, we couldn’t help but see that our sworn enemy Carlos Boozer put up 27 and 17 in Utah’s loss to the Spurs last night.

Perfect, we thought. Surely we can find a way to spin that into a hilarious diatribe against the man who stabbed the Cavaliers in the back, right? But…it didn’t come to us. Nothing. An that’s when a sad reality hit us.

We’re over it.

Maybe it’s that the Cavs are on the verge of being true contenders, or that Drew Gooden has sufficiently filled in Boozer’s numbers and defensive lapses. It could be simply time, combined with a primary character flaw we have that doesn’t allow us to hold a grudge for very long. (Boozer was a record - before this, it was our college roommate who used to steal our tuna and feed it to his cat. That grudge lasted like a week and half.)

None of this is to say we forgive him or that we regret our campaign or that we’re a fan of the man. What he did was wrong, and this wasn’t Albert Belle (ultimately it was relief to not have to cheer for him), Manny Ramirez (Manny was being Manny in Cleveland long before Boston, and his signing with the Sox was just another example), or Jim Thome (team was rebuilding - completely acceptable, plus he was always a genuine guy).

No, Boozer was a total scumbag with a hidden agenda and a manipulative wife. He left a chance to be part of something with the potential for history, simply because he couldn’t wait a year to get paid. Fact is, it worked out better for the Cavs - Gooden has done the job, and it freed up the money for the Hughes signing.

As we retire our grudge, we leave it with no jokes, no anger, no nothing. Boozer is just a good player on another team. Certainly we’ll watch with a higher than usual interest when he finally mans up enough to play a game in Cleveland, but other than that…?

The one positive in this is that we’re officially opening the doors for a brand spankin’ new arch enemy! If you’d like to be our primary nemesis, simply leave a comment as to why you deserve it.

There’s no pay involved, but you’ll get your own category and be guaranteed that we’ll mock and Photoshop you in any number of degrading ways on a semi-regular basis. For examples of the type of ridicule you may receive, check over our full Carlos Boozer archive.

We’d like to get this sealed up before the weekend so we can begin lambasting you first thing Monday morning. Let us know why you deserve this!

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{ 18 comments }

1 chris April 5, 2006 at 11:02 am

How about a random enemy like Richard Hamilton or something? Who the hell wears a friggin face mask while playing basketball?

2 Vince Carter April 5, 2006 at 11:14 am

My old coach always said two points is two points, but he wasn’t anyone’s arch enemy.

3 Brandon Dean Price April 5, 2006 at 12:27 pm
4 Leon Phelps April 5, 2006 at 1:47 pm

Please let it be Mourning, please let it be Mourning……..

5 Vince Carter April 5, 2006 at 2:06 pm

Hmm, I’ll have to change my vote for Zo.

6 The Cavalier April 5, 2006 at 2:37 pm

Everyone except the BDP is misunderstanding. I want one of YOU to be my arch enemy.

7 Brandon Dean Price April 5, 2006 at 3:28 pm

Just a note: that was to remind you all how sucky you all are, not for me to be the enemy, duh. We already know you all hate yourselves; be your own damn enemies

8 the sockk April 5, 2006 at 4:01 pm

The Cavalier is probably a transvestite (Kim?) and his Mom is so fat.

9 LUCAS April 5, 2006 at 4:12 pm

OH SNAP!!!

10 The Cavalier April 5, 2006 at 4:19 pm

C’mon, give me a real reason you deserve my occasional scorn, not cheap trash talk.

11 the sockk April 5, 2006 at 6:51 pm

I illegally downloaded the Macho Man Randy Savage’s rap album.

12 Todd Lerner April 5, 2006 at 6:58 pm

I’m glad to see this social experiment is going well for you, Cav.

I got some naked pics of your mom if you wanna buy ‘em.

13 Dan Panorama April 5, 2006 at 11:42 pm

Yeah, you’re probably going to want to go with Jamal Crawford right now.

14 bambino April 6, 2006 at 1:24 am

The Larry Hughes signing hasnt been that great for the Cavs… Lebron is still in need of a real sidekick. Drew Gooden as good as Boozer??? Give me a break, give Boozer a full year and his stats will show that he’s a much bigger asset to any team than Gooden..

15 The Cavalier April 6, 2006 at 2:04 am

That’s inconclusive. He’s been out for 45 games.

They were 18-10 before Hughes got hurt.

As for Boozer, I never said Gooden was as good as him. He’s filled in the hole more than sufficiently, though.

16 Smoov April 7, 2006 at 11:20 am

Stephen A Smith or Bill Walton. Bruce Bowen is pretty fag too

17 Michael Jordan April 7, 2006 at 3:43 pm

How can it not be me??? Broke your hearts for years, beat up on Ehlo and made him cry. Price and Dougherty couln’t stop me when I wasn’t even that GOOD yet!!!

18 JONESONTHENBA April 10, 2006 at 2:58 pm

Because I sent you email notifications for 3 months straight!

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