With the Cavaliers apparently having decided to forfeit the rest of their regular season games, there’s some time today to take a look at the new practice facility the team is building.
Owner Dan Gilbert continues to pour dough into the team, and it sounds like this new building is going to be great – the kind of place that might get us to finally come out and sign a 10-day contract.
In a brushy, forested patch of Independence, just north of an old cemetery, the Cleveland Cavaliers want to practice like champions.
A parking bay for car washes, a chef’s office and a gym with two full-length courts — and up to six three-point baskets — show that the Cavs desire a place where players can not only hone their skills, but enjoy creature comforts as well.
What look to be amenities to the average Joe are the tools to building a better basketball team, Gilbert insisted. “This is not a place for these guys to get pampered,” Gilbert said. “They will not be getting manicures and haircuts.”
So they’re not going to be allowed to get haircuts and they’re practicing in the woods?
Maybe we’re behind a little on technology and fashion and grammar and technology and haircuts and fashion and forestry and zoos and marketing and paper production and TV and movies and cooking and sonic toothbrushes and morning show hosts and gardening and technology and grammar again and other things, but we do know something about playing basketball in the woods.
If you bounce a ball on uneven ground, it makes it really hard to keep your dribble. Also, poison ivy is contagious. We’ll try to keep an open mind, but we’ve got our eyes on you, Dan Gilbert. Okay, it’s just one eye, but as soon as the pink eye clears up it’ll be both of them.
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Sign a 10-day contract? Not after the BDP put the smack down on you like that. Oh yes, we still remember.
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