Anonymous NBA execs are now agreeing with us that Larry Brown’s tummy-ache is merely a part of his carefully planned exit from the Knicks.
With his resignation all but assured at this point, it’s time to take a look at how all parties will be affected. We’ll be scoring on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being “Screwed” and 10 being “Great News!”.
The whole roster of participants and their various issues…after the jump.
The New York Knicks: They’re insured on LB’s contract if he leaves for medical reasons, so they’re off the hook on the remaining 80-gazillion-mathousand on his deal. Anyone doubt there was a secret meeting regarding Larry’s “health” early last week sometime?
They’re now (in all likelyhood) looking for a new coach, in a market where there aren’t many candidates out there. This is good, because Larry Brown was horrible for this team. This is also bad, as there’s no way anyone wants this job without a huge paycheck. SCORE: 5
Isiah Thomas: Zeke has some problems here, and they’re all of his own making. Without knowing who his coach is, how does he go about remaking this roster? Does he go ahead and try to move Steph still? What about Franchise? Can he merge these two into a singular being called Starbury Franchise somehow?
Does he have enough young talent to trade for both Baron Davis and Allen Iverson? If he can pull that off, what coach is out there who would be as ill-fitting as Larry Brown? This is a pretty big mess already – does he have the pieces and will to make it bigger? SCORE: 1
Various doctors: You have to technically break some serious rules to do so, but you’re billing out some nice hours to “treat” Larry. You probably have hot young wives, too. SCORE: 9
Terry Stotts: Larry Brown wants your job. SCORE: 1
Joe and Gavin Maloof: You’re going to be answering a lot of questions about whether Larry Brown can coach Ron Artest. SCORE: 10, because really no matter what, you guys have nice lives.
PJ Carlisimo: It’s always nice to have your name thrown out there, huh? Maybe you can get the Spurs to give you a raise. SCORE: 7
Rick Carlisle: If you happen to get fired, you are so in, and they will throw so much money at you. Your sourpuss nature could be the only one that can adequately replace LB. SCORE: >:(
Rick Adelman:: The next coach of your New York Knicks! SCORE: n/a – depends on…
Stephon Marbury: Your’e rid of your arch enemy, but your rep is ruined. As down as people were on you before, it’s only gotten worse. You’re stuck on a team that doesn’t want you, and it’s only because nobody else wants you either. SCORE: 3
Steve Francis: SCORE: 1
Chicago Bulls: Maybe you can trade the Knicks’ #1 pick to the Knicks for Eddy Curry? At least you’ve got options and hard workers, if no big men. SCORE: 8
Stephen A Smith: Whew – this is good for at least 8 columns this summer. SCORE: 9
Zach Randolph and Darius Miles: Sorry, we forgot you guys up in the “guys Isiah will try to get this summer” section. SCORE: 6
YAYsports!: And we were afraid there’d be nothing to write about this summer due to the weak free agent class. SCORE: Beef