The NBA has Fatheads

We think The Beard tore these things up way back when, and it was only a matter of time before the NBA signed on. Getcher NBA Fatheads right here.

If you aren’t familiar with the product, they’re basically huge Colorforms, as we understand it. You unroll it and stick it on the wall – they’re like posters, but bigger, more strangely named, and about 150 times more expensive.

Not content to allow their product to stand on its own, the Fathead people have gone an extra step and attempted to force an extra gimmick or something onto the product.

From the moment you buy your Fathead, you set into motion the laws of Fathead Karma. You plant a seed. A seed which grows with every battle.

When your favorite player hits the big shot at the buzzer to win the game – Or when your team goes 88 yards in 48 seconds for the win – That’s Fathead Karma!

There’s no way they listen to Jim Rome, right? This is just a coincidence. Has to be.

All of your favorite players are available in Fathead form, so if your office lets you hang big 6-foot high Kobe Bryant Fruit Roll-Ups on the walls of your office, this is the thing for you. (Shouldn’t they be marketing these to kids? And if you’re going to call these “Fatheads”, should there be some gimmick that’s related to that name? We imagine the number one reaction to the Fathead is “So it’s a poster? I could roll down to Kinkos and get one made myself for 30 bucks, right?”)

If you sense a lack of enthusiam for this product, there’s a reason for that. They’re fucking gay. That said, if the Fathead people want to email us and buy some ad space, we’ll be happy to put up your ad and rewrite this post into a glowing review of the “Amazing Karmic Fathead Phenomenon”.