nba

Screw it, we’re going Philly on Rasheed Wallace

by The Cavalier on May 15, 2006 · 49 comments

rasheed wallace 01.pngWe’ve had an interesting evening, and this is probably the first time our heart-rate has stayed above 140bpm for ten or more minutes in the absense of drugs or exercise.

We have to question a few things, and we’ll have a lot to say in the next 15 hours or so, as you can imagine. The main query – what was LeBron thinking with that jumper from the top of the key with 10 seconds left? The other – will Detroit claim they “just didn’t feel like it” again, or does Cleveland get credit for their tough defense?

While you’re pondering those, we’re trying to formulate a list of things to keep in mind over the next 2 days until Game 5:

1) Avoid using the words “what” and “if” in the same sentence, especially if it’s followed by anything having to do with the Cavaliers.

2) If anyone brings up the “yeah, but Sheed hurt his ankle,” try not to respond with “yeah, but our starting shooting guard is attending family funerals.”

3) Remember to watch Kobe Bryant in studio on TNT tomorrow night.

4) When non-English speaking neighbor asks if we’re “workeeng tooo-day”, don’t try and explain what a “freelance screenwriter” is for the 100th time, although that milestone is important in some ways.

5-10) The “what” and “if” thing again. And again. And again. And again. And once more.

If you think we’re done with Sheed, we’re not. At 2-2, this thing is on. Seriously, like what if…fuck!

Fine – excuse us this one moment.

WhatiftheywinWhatiftheywinWhatiftheywinWhatiftheywin?!?!?!?!?

{ 49 comments }

1 Mo-hio May 15, 2006 at 11:34 pm

I’m leaving the first comment.

Eff Rasheed Wallace and his guaran-sheeds.

Eff the announcers and the “Pistons just aren’t trying” routine.

Eff the haters.

LeBron and the Cavaliers showed up tonight while the Pistons didn’t. That’s it. They got stops and shots when they needed them. The Pistons didn’t. Don’t over-analyze the game. This is a great series that has already created a great rivalry in the NBA.

On a side note, the entire bar booed for that lady in the Cingular commercial who talked about erasing the phone number of her ex-bf. Giving a guy a hummer in the bathroom does not make him your bf.

2 MattB May 15, 2006 at 11:44 pm

SO he isn’t gunna call me?

3 Brandon Dean Price May 15, 2006 at 11:46 pm

So all the Cavs have to do to “show up” is score 70 points? Eastern conference games are b-to-the-oring

4 Matt May 15, 2006 at 11:51 pm

The Cavs won, playing Deee-troit B-Ball, and LBJ didn’t come close to scoring thirty.

Umm- have any of you ever seen LeBron have two “bad”* games in a row this season? Is there anyone who thinks he won’t light it up like Christmas in D-town?

Good lord. We’re seeing something here. I’m not sure what. Something. Make up some words.

Also- “Varay-joe”, evidently.

*for a living legend

5 The Cavalier May 15, 2006 at 11:55 pm

It’s like “jhoe” though, if that’s an actual pronunciation.

6 Matt May 16, 2006 at 12:13 am

Plus, I just don’t see them losing after going to Larry’s brother’s funeral. If that doesn’t scream bittersweet feel-good sports movie destiny, I don’t know what does.

I’m going to cry, I just know it.

7 The Cavalier May 16, 2006 at 12:22 am

You haven’t yet? I cried at the end of Washington Game 5.

Don’tell anyone, but we play better without Hughes right now, don’t you think? He’s been pressing so hard throughout the playoffs – just hasn’t found his place in the offense. If he’d just play D and then go stand in the corner on the other end I guess that’d be good.

8 Matt May 16, 2006 at 12:27 am

I think Larry has been preoccupied. He’s just an awesome person, and he’ll definitely be LBJ’s sidekick extraordinaire in the upcoming kick-ass years of CAVALIER DOMINATION. You’ll see- you’ll all see. I’m half drunk.

9 Matt May 16, 2006 at 12:28 am

BUT ONLY HALF.

10 The Cavalier May 16, 2006 at 12:35 am

Yeah between trying to work in after the injury and his brother, he has to be distracted.

This is all too much like “what if…”

Let’s talk about The Drive or The Shot please.

11 soccergo9 May 16, 2006 at 12:41 am

Hate to get too cliche on everybody but it looks like LeBron has been playing a much improved defence the last two games. When he matures he will become a lock defender in addition to his offensive prowess. It’s amazing to think that this kid should be getting ready for his senior year in college.

12 Matt May 16, 2006 at 12:55 am

You’re right, Soccergo9. That is so cliche on everybody. He has been making some spectacular defensive plays. That block on Hamilton makes up for the facial he got from Prince in game 2.

Cavalier- Screw “What If”- we are staring at some goddam destiny here, pally. Look, I live in Cleveland- we’re not a hopeful people. We expect failure and are surprised by success. LeBron has broken every C-Town grade curve. We don’t know what to do now that it is a series. We all feel real dumb for saying the Cavs would be crushed (and we ALL said it). This is all new territory. See, we’re losers! We’re not used to winning things! I’m in a complete tizzy.

13 The Cavalier May 16, 2006 at 1:02 am

Dude I lived in Cleveland for the first 25 years of my life before I came to LA.

Believe me, I know. I’m not drunk, so it’s harder for me to accept the changing destinies of our city.

(Go Mavs btw – that was cool.)

14 zack k May 16, 2006 at 1:06 am

MAVS!!!!!!!!!

15 Matt May 16, 2006 at 1:09 am

I feel you man, this won’t be easy for a lot of people. It’s a paradigm shift, and there might be only like three or four people in Cleveland that can even pronounce “paradigm”. Frankly, I’m scared shitless.

16 Matt May 16, 2006 at 1:11 am

Oh- OH- how great would a “MAVS v CAVS” final be?

Just for sheer headline poetry?

17 The Cavalier May 16, 2006 at 1:12 am

Yeah, it is scary, but you know it’s coming. Very odd – I don’t buy into destiny and fate and crap like that, and LeBron being an Akron kid and “The Chosen One” and such is a little too close to being that, right?

Good job tonight Zack.

18 The Cavalier May 16, 2006 at 1:13 am

lol I had a friend that used to make that joke all the time in the 90s, because it was funny and also impossible.

19 Matt Watson May 16, 2006 at 1:42 am

The best I can come up with right now is, well, Rasheed Wallace is from Philly. So there.

20 Mike Morrow May 16, 2006 at 1:43 am

ok ok! say it… the cavs won. congradulations but im sorry once we get there asses in front our fans in THE “D”! its over for lebron and the lebron-ettes! this is the most success you guys have tasted since you guys lost to the bulls in the eastern finals… the complete beating my team will do to your team will not be funny. DEEEEEEEEETTTRRRRROOOOOIIIIITTTT BASKETBALL!

21 Mike Morrow May 16, 2006 at 1:44 am

ok ok! say it… the cavs won. congradulations but im sorry once we get there asses in front our fans in THE “D”! its over for lebron and the lebron-ettes! this is the most success you guys have tasted since you guys lost to the bulls in the eastern finals… the complete beating my team will do to your team will not be funny. DEEEEEEEEETTTRRRRROOOOOIIIIITTTT BASKETBALL! and feel FREE to e-mail me if you believe different because i couldnt wait to shove it down your throats when we win

22 MIKE MORROW May 16, 2006 at 1:47 am
23 Matt May 16, 2006 at 1:51 am

I…. I’m not going to e-mail Mike Morrow. Although at this point a “complete beating” would actually be funny in an impossible rewrite of recent history sort of way. HA-HA! Mike & I will laugh about that a lot.

24 Mike Morrow May 16, 2006 at 1:57 am

complete beating!!

25 The Cavalier May 16, 2006 at 2:05 am

Mike did you leave that so we could PayPal you money for some assinie film project?

I’ve watched the postgame press stuff now – so much to say, but sleep time now.

26 TVBrain May 16, 2006 at 2:17 am

Hey Mike Morrow -Techinically, isn’t it Auburn Hills Basketball? Poor Rashweed, how embarassing.
Tomorrow, I’m wearing my counterfeit WITNESS T-shirt to work in ‘Weeds honor.

27 The Tarheel May 16, 2006 at 2:32 am

I’m guaranteeing another post by the Cav tom. about tonight’s game.

28 Dervin May 16, 2006 at 6:11 am

MIKE MORROW – Sorry man, but to the great teams there’s no difference between home court and away court.

29 The Cavalier May 16, 2006 at 7:26 am

Tar Heel wins this comment section.

30 Ashley May 16, 2006 at 8:37 am

Ya’ll can celebrate and cheer now..watch on Wed. Pistons will beat the Cavs ASS. You guys are pathetic cheering when someone gets hurt? screw yall watch we’re wining this series anyway so enjoy your little moment while you can.

31 The Cavalier May 16, 2006 at 8:43 am

Didn’t you guys play your trash-talking prediction card already?

32 B Teezy May 16, 2006 at 8:51 am

I predict the Wizards woulda swept this series by now…

33 chris May 16, 2006 at 8:55 am

look how cute it is when the cave fans get a little excited! if you were betting fans, and you were deciding who to put your mortgage payment on in a 3 game series, pistons or cavs, who would you pick? honestly.

and ‘rashweed’ is the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard, except for sheed’s last guarantee.

34 Exodus May 16, 2006 at 9:25 am

It’s good that they won this game so as it’s a series now.

Lets not forget about the real games that are being played in the West. The Mavs can taste that Finals spot right now and I would love to see them win in San Antonio just to see the sad looks of their fans. What can you say? It was a great game and was even better that it had to be sorted out in OT. What I can’t believe is that the team crumbled right after Manu fouled out. That’s PATHETIC if that shrimp/benchwarmer means that much to your team. O well, great game and can’t wait for game 5!

I did find it amusing that Barkley was screaming Ginobili during the post game show. You gotta love that guy.

Mavs all the way! Execute them in 5…

35 Todd Lerner May 16, 2006 at 11:18 am

Yep, the Clippers-Cavs NBA Finals will be awesome for ratings.

36 The Cavalier May 16, 2006 at 11:21 am

It couldn’t be as good as Pistons-Spurs was.

37 Blake May 16, 2006 at 1:44 pm

Clevelend is filled with low-class, unintelligent, and ruthless people. Who the hell actually CHEERS when someone has an injury?!? Dumb ass Cavs fans.

38 TVBrain May 16, 2006 at 2:36 pm

When Detriot fans critcize other team’s fans, you know that up is down and black is white.
Seriously.

39 TVBrain May 16, 2006 at 2:41 pm

Sorry for the typo on Detriot, I meant to spell it Auburn Hills.

40 MEEEE May 16, 2006 at 3:19 pm

good game Lebrons team.. its actally kind of exciting watching this get so close.. who ever wins (hoping the pistons) it was really a good battle.. proved a lot to me.. I think everyone and their moms thought Lebrons team would lose in 5 or 4. You guys did good and ill give it to ya.. But I still have to route for the Pistons :) hopefully they got the wake-up call Lebrons team isnt just Lebron.. its a team.. or is it.. :p

41 MEEEE May 16, 2006 at 3:19 pm

good game Lebrons team.. its actally kind of exciting watching this get so close.. who ever wins (hoping the pistons) it was really a good battle.. proved a lot to me.. I think everyone and their moms thought Lebrons team would lose in 5 or 4. You guys did good and ill give it to ya.. But I still have to route for the Pistons :) hopefully they got the wake-up call Lebrons team isnt just Lebron.. its a team.. or is it.. :p

42 Snoop May 16, 2006 at 5:29 pm

Now that the Pistons got the Cleveland Lebrons’ hopes up; it is now time to rip their hearts out. Stones in 6

43 e*rich May 17, 2006 at 12:13 am

you guys are dumb…there is no way the cavs can beat the pistons in a series an they got lucky the past 2 games…seriously come on the detroit pistons are the best team in the leauge an you guys think that the cavs are going to beat them…i think not…lebron can not play 48 mins of good bball agenst the pistons sorry!

series over bring on miami!

44 The Cavalier May 17, 2006 at 12:37 am

Chauncey is that you?

45 rasheed wallace FAN May 17, 2006 at 5:21 am

F*CK d CAVALIERS, you guys are a bunch of winnies gay fucking assholes!!!!!!!! this is far as u GO!!!!

46 CHakde FAteh!!!!!!!! May 17, 2006 at 5:56 am

CLEVELAN SUCKS…no wonder larry’s bro died , beacause he had an heart attack when d pistons beat the cavaliers at game2……………ha ha ha losers……….U cavaliers said we also got d fire effect during pre game warm ups……ass holes we strated it duhhhhh……………..u got king james but he is broke he rules over a junkyard dumbass all he know is nailbitting(do you chew your foot fingers????), u got Ilgauskas but all he does is get his head stiched when he gets his ass kicked…….u got Hughes but he looks like a parrot… larry wants a cracker Larry wants a cracker…. u got Drew but he aint no boy wonder all he do is suck ur coaches dick so he could get playing time………….. u got jones who likes to have a buzzer beater in his mom’s ass!!!!! ow MArshall looks like an endangered specie of Gorrilla bring him back to the planet of the apes!!!!! Anderson Varejao a ben wallace wannabe simple persn GO BACK to Brazil and sell Drugs Biatch u could earn more money maybe weed ur shove it up ur dad’s asss!!!!!! we also have eric snow who looks like a bald GREMLIN… ow a black lepricorn I guesss!!!!!!!!!! Murray he’s a big coward i think he and Stephen Graham are making out everyday in the team Locker or any place…Ira Newble he got no game this guy should not play in d NBA I got a tip for you try WNBA u could get more playing time there……Aleksandar Pavlovic go back to ur moms vagina… your so Ugly u look like Skeletor……… Alan Henderson where’s ur most improve award???? Damn asshole the award u should get is MDAP (most dumb ass player) go back to ur dad stay there at his house damnn it……Nba is not d place for u go back to DayCare center!!!!!!!! so CLEVELAND CAVALIERS FAN’s u guys think your team is Going to win.. HA HA HA lebron has no ball what is his average???? Pistons are just resting BITCHES.. people supporting cleveland are dumb asses!!!!!! did u win any nba championship already??? how many times did u get n d playoffs? ha ha ha GOT PROBLEMS FROM ME FUCK U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEEEEEEETTTTRRRRROOOOIIIIIT BASKETBALL!!!!!!!!!!! THE BALL DON’T LIE…………….YESSS SIR……………

47 The Cavalier May 17, 2006 at 9:13 am

What’s a “lepricorn”?

48 HeCktIC May 17, 2006 at 6:38 pm

YOO all i got to say iz fuck all the hater Sheed guuaranteed that there gonna beat the gay ass cavs n they are jus watch pistons in 6 n pistons world champ i GuarenSHEED it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

49 Chake FATEH!!!! May 18, 2006 at 1:15 pm

If detroit loses MIAMI’S not gonna give u a chance DETROIT will just lend ur team to the heat for a beating…..I hope SHAQ kicks anderson’s ass…

P.S. I like what Sheed do to Anderson!!!!!!!

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