Tim Thomas is a jerkface

by The Cavalier on May 5, 2006 · 29 comments

kobe bryant 005.png

Well, we’re getting one Game 7 at least, and it should be a monster.

Not to get negative, but we’ve got a pretty bad feeling about the reality of Lakers-Clippers after the Suns won in OT last night. Kobe put up 50, but Los Angeles can’t seem to get in that defensive groove they were in during the early part of the series.

With Raja Bell’s face watching from an LA restaurant and Tim Thomas talking trash to Jack Nicholson, the Suns now have the momentum, confidence, and home court in their favor for tomorrow night.

Jack Nicholson was trying to put the voodoo fingers on Thomas and the Suns’ midseason acquistion savior did right back at The Joker, adding “We’re going to get one – the big one.” He did, knocking down the tying shot with 6.3 seconds to go in regulation.

“After those two misses, I said to myself, ‘If I get another look, it’s going down,’.” said Thomas, who scored 21 in 36 reserve minutes. “I don’t think anybody in Phoenix should use any gas Saturday. Just walk to the arena and let us use all the energy.”

There’s a lot of things that bug us on a day-to-day basis, but one that stands out almost as much as Eddie Jordan’s odd hairline is this “All-New Tim Thomas”.

We really feel like this guy should be prohibited from doing that “pull your jersey back from your chest” move, as well as all the other cocky things he does.

This is a guy who’s been a lazy, overpaid, underachieving cancer to every team he been on, and now that he’s sniffing the magic dust of playing with Steve Nash, even the announcers are giving him a pass, saying he just “never got a fair shake” in other places.

Seriously, not only should he have to remain humble and quiet at all times, but we think he should have to wear some kind of scarlett letter signifying Chicago was willing to pay him fourteen million dollars to sit at home only 4 months ago.

The Lakers shot 55% last night, but look – you guys can’t run with the PHX. You just can’t, so stop it. Make it a 57-45 game if you need to, but slow it down, give Smush Parker some Paxil, and stop allowing Tim Thomas to have happiness in his life. Keys to the game, right there.

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1 Goo May 5, 2006 at 10:48 am

God, I hate Tim Thomas. Here’s a guy that defrauded the Bucks and Knicks out of nearly $60 million over the course of his career, a guy whose ambivalent attitude toward conditioning, practicing, and the game of basketball in general caused the Bulls to waive him at midseason… and now that he’s making $390,000 for Phoenix, he’s made, like, seven Horry-lucky threes against the Lakers. Tim Thomas, playoff hero? What the hell is the world coming to?

2 Exodus May 5, 2006 at 10:53 am

Well I still believe that the Suns will win the series and I’ve been saying it from the beginning! I just hope that someone takes out the Spurs. And Raja is back for game 7 so look for more shots to the face and other crazy stuff!

3 zack k May 5, 2006 at 10:58 am

tim thomas is a bitch

and exodus… dont you worry about those spurs…

go mavs

4 Nick May 5, 2006 at 11:08 am

So far I love Tim Thomas and we would be screwed without him. I’m not sure how ambivalent he could be to training if he was able to play a game two hours after signing with the Suns and get 20 and 10.

5 Goo May 5, 2006 at 11:30 am

Here’s a fun quote from Thomas: “The last time I checked, we don’t get our checks for our wins and losses in practice.” Heh. No doubt Thomas is naturally talented, which can more than account for his 20-points-in-20-minutes Suns debut. But equally undeniable is the fact that Tim Thomas is a lazy clubhouse cancer that has just happened to hit a handful of big (read: lucky) shots against a team that is mediocre at defending the 3-point shot — and, come to think of it, defending in general. Aside from Nash, he’s been the Suns’ MVP this series, but I pity the GM who shells out big for him this summer on the sole basis of seven games against L.A., only to get the typical Thomas effort in return during the regular season. Thomas once called Kenyon Martin “fugazy,” a street term for “fake,” which is ten kinds of ironic, because Thomas makes fellow cancer Martin look like Bill Russell when it comes to work ethic. And if you don’t believe me, just ask George Karl about Thomas… or Lenny Wilkens. Or Scott Skiles.

6 Brandon Dean Price May 5, 2006 at 11:37 am

you guys are dumb, he played awesome this whole series and all you want to do is talk about how much money he’s made, like it concerns any of you if the bucks or knicks or bulls didn’t get a full effort. More like the Leastern conference

7 Dan Panorama May 5, 2006 at 11:41 am

I’m just waiting for the Knicks to use their entire midlevel to resign the new-and-improved Tim Thomas. Oh yes, it’s coming.

8 Exodus May 5, 2006 at 11:45 am

I agree with ya there Zack. Dirk is the man and should lead his troops into the finals! I am still pulling for the Kings to upset them but I think it would be sweeter if Dirk and the Mavs could sweep them in four or atleast own them in the series!

9 zachille o'neal May 5, 2006 at 11:51 am

to tim thomas’s credit, once he left milwaukee, everyone in his family started dying or going to the hospital with insane diseases and afflictions. if i was on a team like the knicks at that point, my mind would certainly be on my family rather than on the idiocy that is the knicks.

10 LUCAS May 5, 2006 at 11:55 am

Kurt Thomas said everything to contradict all these critics. He said Tim had great work ethic and was a great team player and that is one of the reasons the Suns signed Tim. Quit hatin. Who wouldn’t take 60 mil? Kurt Thomas is a great character guy.

11 Don May 5, 2006 at 11:56 am

so what’s the difference between him and Robert Horry exactly?

12 A-Wood May 5, 2006 at 11:59 am

Tim Thomas gets credit for his family members dying and whatnot? You’re a sick puppy, Zachille. I bet you have no friends.

13 The Cavalier May 5, 2006 at 12:27 pm

When you say insane diseases, do you mean a lot of weird diseases that came out of nowhere, or diseases brought on because of insanity?

I’m not saying he’s not playing well or he shouldn’t make whatever money he gets – all I’m saying is the guy bugs me. If he were a Suns fan I’m sure I’d love him. I cheered like for Albert Belle once upon a time, don’t forget.

And hopefully in Zeke’s mind, somehow Tim Thomas and Kenyon Martin on the same team in NYC equals even better chemistry.

14 The Cavalier May 5, 2006 at 12:30 pm

Nick -

Please explain the Venus Beartrap.



15 Goo May 5, 2006 at 1:13 pm

I second that.

16 Nick May 5, 2006 at 1:33 pm

It’s the ultimate battle of animal vs. plant-animal.

I don’t know. One day I thought of the phrase and it was cool so I bought the domain. My brother made the image from scratch in Photoshop. His site is He’s pretty damn good.

Eventually I’ll actually create a website for the domain. I plan on using it to host any music I write if I actually ever put all the gear I’ve bought to use.

17 SG May 5, 2006 at 2:30 pm

Please tell me that if you do write any music you’ll do so as “Venus Beartrap”

18 Nick May 5, 2006 at 4:09 pm

That is correct.

19 Paul November 22, 2006 at 3:26 am

Feast today and fast tomorrow… Paul

20 Paul November 22, 2006 at 3:26 am

Feast today and fast tomorrow… Paul

21 Paul November 22, 2006 at 3:27 am

Feast today and fast tomorrow… Paul

22 Thomasina November 22, 2006 at 3:45 am

Practise what you preach… Thomasina

23 Thomasina November 22, 2006 at 3:46 am

Practise what you preach… Thomasina

24 Starkeedra Simmons March 9, 2007 at 8:32 am

Wuz up? This is Starkeedra Simmons from Smoaks S.C.and i do not think that Tim THOMAS is a jerk. He is my cousin and i know he is a very good basketball player. whoever came up with the idea of even calling him a jerk is very lame because i know that my cousin aint no jerk. he’s a real good basketball player and will always be. it dont even matter what others think cause he’s i think he’s doing a great job in the NBA. Im always telling his brother Tony when he come to our house that Tim Thomas is off the chain! Dont hate cuz your the jerk, not Tim Thomas!!!!!!!!

25 Tim Thomas March 9, 2007 at 9:14 am

Trust me, I am an ass

26 The Cavalier March 9, 2007 at 9:33 am

Starkeedra is unbiased in this opinion.

27 roger March 9, 2007 at 10:05 am

Maybe he was a jerk from May 5 ’06 until now and Starkeedra finally got the chance to clear his name.

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