New Cavaliers Shannon Brown and Daniel Gibson were introduced to Cleveland today (watch the press conference here), and that’s all fine and good and whatever blah blah blah…
We’re eight hours away from the first moment LeBron James can agree to his extension. Eight hours until everyone can start making up rumors that he’s demanding a trade right after he signs it, which can’t technically happen until July 12th.
Will Lebron make us wait? Will the Cavaliers send out a mass email letting everyone know it’s okay? Hopefully at like 12:02 am Eastern? ESPN’s Mark Stein looks at those and other free agency issues, none of which matter if we don’t get an email or press release by like 12:06 am Eastern.
We’ll give it ’til like 12:12 am Eastern before we set up the suicide watch. We can make it until 12:18 am Eastern. After that, though – okay, we’ll go until 12:23 am Eastern before we panic.
We weren’t going to mention this at all, because we know if word isn’t out by morning on an extension, you’re all going to brutally tease us, even though it’s a holiday weekend, and there’s no need to commit until like 12:40 am Eastern.
Well, Renaldo and the other botched draft pick were introduced to the NY media yesterday, and in typical Renaldo fashion, nobody knew who he was.
Isiah Thomas, on the other hand, is the man everyone knows, and swears that if you ask the coach of Florida, Renaldo was a great pick. (We know what he meant, but we like to take that as he thinks the state of Florida has a coach.)
Zeke also made it clear that there are actually a few things he’s rock solid sure on.
“I’m not here waiting for Santa Claus to come save us,” Thomas said Thursday. “I was told early on we didn’t have any money and there was no Santa Claus. And I’m not looking for this great player to come save the day for us.
“The guys that we have, we’ll make them better and we have a job to do. Nobody’s coming to save us.”
Again Mr. Thomas, you’ve been rich for far too long to keep falling back on that “I grew up poor” thing. We grew up upper middle class – you don’t see us using it as an excuse for everything we do wrong.
Zeke aside for a moment. Know this – whether he averages 1.2 or 2.7 points in the course of his 1.5 year pro career, Renaldo will go down in the annals of NBA history.
This whole thing wouldn’t have worked if Zeke’d picked “Jim Smith”, y’know. The name “Renaldo” will forever be linked to the “inexplicably awful draft pick”, and somehow, somewhere deep inside, Isiah Thomas knew it.
Renaldo’s place in the books is secure – in 2076, when some futuristic GM picks some horrible guard from the University of Mars at Sarasota, the announcers will surely say, “Zarkblat! That’s a “Renaldo” if I’ve ever seen one! Somebody better turn the gravity back on, cause it’s getting crazy in this domed city that protects us from the laser ships of the Southern Moon People!”
We don’t think we even made note of it at the time, but T-Wolves PF/C Eddie Griffin was picked up for DUI back in March.
Technically it wasn’t a DUI, as the officers apparently drove him home without any messy “legal complications” like blood tests or the like.
This didn’t sit well with the driver of the car he hit, and now said driver is suing Eddie in civil court. The witness accounts of Eddie’s behavior after the accident is quite simply awesome.
Abed Hassuneh, who is the brother of the victim, said Griffin told him, “That he was masturbating himself going down that street. That’s how the accident happened because he was not paying attention. He’s paying attention to that video and all of a sudden he’s shoveled somebody’s car on the top of the sidewalk.”
You can watch more of the surveillance video here. Our favorite part is either when Griffin offers to buy the guy whatever car he wants “tomorrow” if he’ll not blame it all on him or when the above quote is said by the guy’s bro.
Something about the way he makes it all sound so matter-of-fact is pretty special. We imagine being in that situation, and there’s not much to stop us from laughing while explaining our account.
What’s Griffin thinking anyway? We can see maybe pulling the “Yeah I was drunk – look, I’ll hook you up wth a new car tomorrow, okay?” However, the “Yeah I was drunk and masturbating [while driving] – look, I’ll hook you up with a new car tomorrow, okay?” is a stretch.
BTW, Basketball Boobs is an actual porno – Google leads you to the funniest things. Our workload was cut tremendously thanks to the miracle search engine.
(NOTE: KG – still thrilled to be a T-Pup. Thanks to TrueHoop.)
Now that the draft is out of the way, we can get to the real fun stuff – free agency and trade season!
With guys like Iverson on the block, and others like KG, Jermaine O, and Boozer possibly moving, the excitement is in the air.
At least it better be, because the free agent class is a little thin. ESPN has listed the top 25 contract seekers, and when the #1 is aging .054% free throw shooter Ben Wallace…well, it’s thin, like we said.
Here’s the top 10:
Ben
Al
Jason
Nene
Bonzi
Joel
Nazr
Peja
Jared
Matt
That’s right – this class is so huge, they’re all one-namers. Our predictions? Ben goes to Not Detroit, Al goes to Not Atlanta, Britney Spears poses naked and pregnant, we get really upset, then take a break.
Jason stays in Dallas, Nene goes – NENE is the fourth best free agent in 2006? That’s horrible. We’ve already forgotten who Joel, Jared, and Matt are, so let’s get those trades going.
Everyone says Iverson is going to end up in Boston, which seems weird, huh? Not just because you expect the guy to get to go somewhere he can contend, but because Allen Iverson, Boston Celtic seems weird. It’s all very circular.
And for those about to pipe up – no, AI in green doesn’t make Boston a true contender. You still need some sort of inside presence, and the Perkolation machine ain’t enough.
As for other trades, many are perkolating (and denying) KG goes to Chicago. That’d be interesting and scary, leaving the Cavs with no choice but to sign-and-trade Drew Gooden for Carlos Boozer, which we’ve heard from several reputable sources. Could we live with that?
(Disclaimer: Nobody has actually said Boozer to Cleveland – we’re trying to start internet rumors.)
The world was stunned yesterday when the Bucks unveiled their shockingly different new logo and colors.
Bobby Simmons and Michael Redd were there to explain the vast, and again – SHOCKING – changes to the team’s identity.
“The historical Bucks forest green and the silver introduced in 1993 remain in the identity, but purple has been replaced by a deep red – more sophisticated than the classic red used in the Bucks’ color palette from 1968 through the mid-1980s,” said Christopher Arena, vice president of NBA Apparel.
Deeper reds…ah, yes. Deeper reds and…a new font.
You figure some firm got paid a couple hundred grand to scroll through the fonts in their copy of Photoshop? That’s certainly what it looks like to us, not that we’re experts in professional sports team logo creation or anything.
We are experts in a few things, but we keep those things secret. Why? Because we’re mean and cruel, of course. And red. We’re deep red. With a new font.
Thanks to the heroes over at The Beautiful Lie (which is finally up and running), here’s the reaction to Renaldo from inside the NYC Draft night crowd. To put it in context, they’re Nets fans.
We must know – how did everyone react when you were cheering the Renaldo pick?
The Trailblazers made six trades last night, and #7 pick Randy Foye was traded like 8 times himself, three or four of those by said Trailblazers.
It was all very confusing, and we fell asleep at one point, which didn’t help matters, either. In our delirium, we could’ve sworn Randy Foye and Brandon Roye morphed into one being called RaBran Royfe, who was then traded to Mexico for Renaldo Balkman.
“It was just nerve-racking,” Foye said Wednesday night. “Then like two picks before me, my agent and Brandon’s agent were making eye contact, and I didn’t know what was going on at the time. And once I saw my agent’s face light up, he was like, ‘Yeah, Boston is going to take you,’
“And then, ‘Portland is going to take you. And then when they said Minnesota, I was like, ‘OK, good, yeah, bring it on.”‘
Randy, we don’t want to freak you out, but that eye contact between the two agents was something else entirely.
That’s right, while your playing future was on the line, your agent and Roy’s agent were planning secret plans. Secret plans to do something secret.
Anyway, we don’t know who you are, but KG is surely unhappy about your arrival, being that you’re not another All-Star and none of the trades that brought you got rid of Marco Jaric and/or Ricky Davis. Or everyone else on the Timberwolves. Wolves coach Dwane Casey gave the stamp of “yeah, I hope he turns out okay.”
Here’s a roundup of all the trades, including Philly’s trade for an actual Carney.
If there was one good thing you could say about Isiah Thomas, it was that he could draft decently.
Well, last night Zeke attempted to eliminate any possible positivity on his resume, and he was so determined to concentrate on his task, he did it all from a secure location 30 minutes away.
The Knicks’ first pick in last night’s draft, Renaldo Balkman of South Carolina, had each and every one of the ESPN guys using words like “shocked” and “speechless”.
The crowd was surprisingly tame, probably because nobody had any idea who the guy was. That was actually their quiet point of the night – David Stern made note several times of the “rowdy” crowd on-hand for the draft.
The 6-foot-8 Balkman led South Carolina to consecutive NIT titles, winning MVP honors this season at Madison Square Garden. He averaged a career-best 9.6 points and 6.3 rebounds last season as a junior and was selected to the Southeastern Conference all-tournament team.
[Isiah] Thomas wasn’t put off by the fans’ reaction.
“I’ve been in sports all my life and I’ve been called a lot of bad names growing up on the West Side of Chicago, and being in an arena where people jeer and shout and say bad things about you, that’s all right, that’s what sports is all about,” he said. “You take the good with the bad. That’s what it’s all about.”
We love how Zeke always falls back on his tough childhood as some sort of qualification for his various jobs. Does he put that on his resume before or after “bankrupted CBA”?
The best was how Greg Anthony said Isiah should’ve taken sliding PG Marcus Williams simply so that people would say nice things about him for a few weeks.
Back to Renaldo, though. Spike Lee says he’s a sleeper, so there you go. We actually feel kinda bad for the guy – it’s not his fault he’ll be used as the Official Symbol of Isiah Thomas’s Ineptitude around here for the next six months.
As expected, the Cavaliers used pick #25 on someone we’d never heard of.
That’s wasn’t a tough feat, as we’d only heard of like six or seven dudes in this draft. That said, Shannon Brown…welcome to the place where nobody will ever say anything bad about you, at least until you start playing.
NBADraft.net says good things.
Strengths: Shannon is a phenomenal athlete comparable to few prior. A true highlight-film waiting to happen on the fastbreaks, he is just as likely to rise up and dunk on the defense in a half-court setting. An on-target shooter with a high-rising jumper and pretty form. A capable handle despite not having to play the point guard spot with his high school team.
He also is a solid defender when he sets his mind to shutting down his opponent. Exciting player with supreme athletic gifts, draws comparisons to Ronnie Fileds [sic]. Has the ability to play the point guard position on the next two levels. With his athleticism coupled with very large hands, bigger than his 6’9″ teammates, and long arms, he has the tools to dominate.
Ronnie Fileds should be Ronnie Fields, another guy we’ve never heard of. Shannon also once lost a dunk contest to LeBron, which has no bearing on anything one way or the other. Danny Ferry says:
“He’s a great athlete, works hard, a gym rat,” Cavs general manager Danny Ferry said. “His athleticism is off the charts. He can make the open shot, he can go to the basket. He can finish with authority.”
Anyway, this dude is stacked, and it sounds like he can play point. Before you get all upset, we’ve long said that with LeBron and Hughes, the Cavaliers don’t need a true PG. They need a guy that can play defense, dribble, pass it to the wing, then go hit open jumpers.
Sounds like Shannon Brown can do all that and penetrate like an angry young man.
Here’s TrueHoop’s profile from yesterday.
DraftExpress has brief but nice comments. Check the NBA.com profile for career highlights. (He’s a junior – hopefully that means he’s ready now.)
Shannon shares a name with this country singer, who’s also named Shannon Brown!
What are the drawbacks? Should we be as happy it appears we should be?
Check out Father Knickerbocker’s reactions 
