Game 1 is boring

Kind of a strange night of Dallas-winning NBA Finals Game 1 basketball, huh? Crowd wasn’t crazy, Dirk wasn’t crazy, Shaq wasn’t crazy, Cuban wasn’t crazy – there was no craziness to be had. Maybe neither team knew how to act in their first trips to the Finals.

One person who was crazy was Antoine Walker, who tossed up nine threes – he pretty much played his dream game. Dwyane Wade and Jason Terry both showed their lack of nerves by kicking some ass.

All around, it was ugly ball, though. Dirk only had 16, and Shaq was off his game completely – 1-9 from the line, and how’s he only get 11 shots in 37 minutes?

‘Throughout my career, I know that if I want my team to win a championship, I have to step up and hit them,” O’Neal said of his free throws. “I was probably just thinking about it a little too much.”

Wait – is that the first time in his career Shaq has actually admitted to free throw struggles? Where’s the “I always make them when it matters”?

Regardless, there’s one thing the man can do to get this series going, and that’s talk trash between games. This thing needs some storylines pronto.

We were sure this whole “two likable teams duking it out for the first time” thing was the perfect capper to this fantastic playoffs, but now we’re not so sure. Yeah, it’s early. We’re probably going into panic mode a little early.

Crap, we forgot all the jokes, too. Totally off our game, just like the teams. Actually, those MTV Movie Awards were boring, too. Everything that was supposed to be great last night was bust. We didn’t even get on Dateline – that 15-year old girl was totally real, so not only are the Finals not living up to expectations, now we’ve got this new girlfriend, which is like a total pain-in-the-ass.