George Graffy is pissed again

What can we say about the Mavs?

They’re fine. They’re excellent. They’ll probably be back in the Finals next year.

Who knows if they’ll make big changes? Hopefully not, because they don’t need to.

Now their fans? We’re not sure what becomes of them. This is only a small sampling, but those who aren’t complaining simply “want to die”, according to our comments section from last night.

“If we believe that the last great conspiracy theory in Dallas was JFK’s death, the second greatest conspiracy theory was that David Stern wanted the Miami Heat to win the championship,” said Mavericks fan George Graffy, 41.

“I paid $1,200 for these tickets, and we did not win,” said Ashleigh Adams.

“We got the coach. We got the team. We wanted it all this year, though,” said Korby Keene. “The Heat aren’t that good. The refs gave them the game.”

Look, we sympathize with you people, especially Ashleigh, who’s so crushed she can only state simple facts in brief sentences.

That said, the refs didn’t make your Mavs shoot 800 jumpshots to every drive to the hoop. The refs didn’t make Dirk forget how far he’d come and how he got there, ie playing more inside, less out. That’s all there is to it – Wade was too good, you guys weren’t good enough.

Were you the technically better team on paper? Probably, but even Toine and Zo clearly wanted it more than you last night. That’s all anyone will remember, so start living that way ASAP – it’ll be healthier than playing endless rounds of “But If Stack Hadn’t Been” all summer.

Now, we’re sorry this was up kinda late, but we’re working hard on our little project and putting in countless hours on the Stairmaster while doing interviews on national television.

And what was up with Josh Howard dropping his shorts? Who puts an ACE bandage around their waist anyway?

As long as we’re talking Mavs, we love how Stu Scott played up Marquis Daniels’s Biblical tattoos last night and left out his ones about murdering people, among these others, which total 27!

The tattoos range from an extremely detailed map of Florida that covers his entire back, a disturbing caricature of a man blowing his head with a shotgun on his lower right arm, and Chinese characters on his other arm which was apparently intended to represent his initials, but when translated into English, it actually reads “healthy woman roof”.

We get the “healthy woman roof” one, although we’d get that kind of nonsense on purpose, just to see people’s reactions.

(Best tattoo we never got in college – a maze on our shoulder, which to this day we insist would’ve made the greatest chick-picker-upper ever. At least when we were 20 – now it would likely just bring odd looks.)