With all the talk about Mavs owner Mark Cuban and his many publicities, we began to wonder about the other side of the Finals ownership contingent, Heat owner Micky Arison.
While he has a well-publicized status as Forbes-level rich guy (#91 in 2006) and is well-known as the owner of Carnival Cruiselines, not much else is out there to be had. He’s the chairman of the NBA Board of Governors, which is one of those things nobody really understands.
He’s not an outspoken man, nor is he one to incite harsh fines from David Stern. He doesn’t blog and he doesn’t cheer so hard his gut pops out. We were determined to find something, and decided to just go to the old standby of Google searches.
Micky Arison crime
Micky Arison gossip
Micky Arison gay
Micky Arison murderer
Micky Arison wearing bikini
Micky Arison bad things about
Micky Arison Charles Manson
Micky Arison in big trouble with the law
Micky Arison 1st degree felony stealing
Micky Arison sex with disreputable person or multiple disreputable people
Micky Arison hilarious things that can be made fun of about
Micky Arison swindling pirate scumbag dating starlets
None of those gave us anything, and while that’s disappointing, it’s also the way life is sometimes. We don’t feel bad.
Reporters across the nation are trying to find any sort of story thread in Cuban-Arison I, and the simple fact is, there are none, so we’re not alone.
Normally in a situation such as this, we’d make something up or fabricate qa Photoshopped film parody, but we’re content to just let this one lie dormant.
UPDATE: Look, in the 5 seconds this has been up we’ve already gotten 436 emails from you people asking if we’re not saying anything because we have some secret dirt on Arison.
Of course we don’t – it’s not like we’re plugged into some secret pipeline where we get information about Micky’s love for small Asian boys in birthdays cakes, on days it’s not even his birthday, which is the really weird part.
We don’t know jack – but if we accidentally type Arinson one more time, we’re going to formally request he add an ‘n’ to his name.
{ 7 comments }
“…about Micky’s love for small Asian boys in birthdays cakes, on days it’s not even his birthday, which is the really weird part.”
that joke should have been mine…
I just want to give props to your site! I found it recently and it cracks me up way too much. Micky has to have something bad..just keep diggin..
OH yea, your photoshopping skillz/humor inspired me to do something NBA related (that I’ve been wanting to do for a while) Catch my blog when you’re bored or something
Laura it’s totally for sale – make me an offer.
Howie – looks good – check out some of my Lawrence Frank chats when you have a moment.
btw I had a Chris Mills sighting at the gym this afternoon. No sign of Terrell Brandon or Cedric Henderson, but I’m caustiously optimistic for tomorrow.
another $5 for the mamba. i just finished paying for drugs and groceries so that’s all i have left. if that’s not enough for you, i have some comic books that may be worth something in the future. i also have an extra cat you can use for food once you run out of money.
There’s a great website for finding superficial dirt on people… googlism.com – I searched for Micky Arison and got nothing, but if you just look for Arison:
“arison is the “father of the modern cruise industry” who built carnival cruise lines into the largest cruise company in the world from a one ship operation”
but also:
“arison is rumored to have whispered to hal president kirk lantermann ‘do what you want with this room’”
“arison is not truly alive or dead”
and most importantly:
“arison is flying lizards”
Udonis Haslem is president of the Flying Lizard Ranger Corps.
“We don’t know jack – but if we accidentally type Arinson one more time, we’re going to formally request he add an ‘n’ to his name.”
A-frickkin-men to that.
I worked with/for the Arison family at the very beginning of Carnival’s success aboard their first cruise ship Tss. Mardi Gras as the featured closing stage performer and Asst Cruise Director… I was fresh out of the UK Theatre and the vessels original name “Empress of Canada” was being painted over as we left London’s Tilbury docks; I remained with Carnival for two years before moving on with a promotion to another company.. The maiden voyage was a historical occasion and became known as the “Sand Bar Cruise” because we ran aground a couple of hours after sailing from Miami and remained there for a few days; thanks to our united efforts in keeping our guests happy inspired by Ted Arison, what could have been the demise of the Carnival dream turned out to be the mother of the success we see today…..
To the point,,, even though I was not the on board Boss, Ted Arison and his family were always appreciative of the small things, albeit from a lower deck Cleaner up to level of the Master..Micky was a fun loving full of beans youngster and was more a part of our family on board rather than “The Owner’s Son” we could have a good laugh with him and I can in all honesty say that “not one” of the Arison’s had any hint of snobbery…Ted Arison was a guy whom anyone could approach with a problem and he would with a sincere smile, place a hand on your shoulder and help wherever he could….
Why insist on looking for dirt under the rug when there is none,,,Perhaps the wannabe Micky Arison detractor’s are tarring themselves with their own brush..,, I take my hat off to the Family and in many ways regret leaving..
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