WHO SHOT MAMBA IPHONE

Shaq is not happy

by The Cavalier on June 12, 2006 · 16 comments

truthbox 101.png

After Dallas’s Game 2 blowout of the Miami Heat, Shaq left the building (and one would assume the city of Dallas) without addressing the media, which got him an immediate $10,000 fine.

Fox’s Charley Rosen is calling for a sweep, although it’s a little early for that, yes? No doubt the Heat have like a 5% chance to win, but a sweep is premature.

Pat Riley says this is the same old thing they’re gone through throughout the Playoffs, although thats not entirely accurate – this is actually the first time they’ve been down 0-2 to the Mavs this postseason.

”They did what they had to do,” Riley said of the Mavericks. “Everybody’s written our team off — even against Chicago. Then when we got buried when we lost to New Jersey in Game 1. We were history against Detroit, even when we were ahead 3-1. I’m sure we’re history now.”

No word on what Zo saw in his TruthBox, but surely he’ll be putting in the hours, and see that Shaq had technically the worst game of his playoff life. After Miami stated their intent to feed him the ball continually, dude put up 5 points.

Lame move not to talk to anyone afterward, but what was he going to say, really? We watched the postgame on NBATV, and if you’re ever complaining about athletes giving bland stock quotes, it’s because reporters ask bland stock questions.

Why do they even do these press conferences – the whole thing is like a big cliched script. “Can you talk about how you were outscored by Dallas?” What the hell kind of question is that? (Tune in for one of these if you have a chance though – we’re looking at you, Hollinger.)

One more thing on reporters, at least those who refer to Miami players as “Heaters”. Are we alone here in the impression that a “heater” is another name for, ahem…a female performing oral sex on a male? We know we know that – we didn’t make that up, right?

{ 16 comments }

1 becky June 12, 2006 at 10:30 am

I guess Cuban’s pre-game tuna sandwich from 7-11 was a harbinger of good things…?

2 The Cavalier June 12, 2006 at 10:48 am

That guy’s eating a hell of a lot more than tuna snadwiches this season.

3 Exodus June 12, 2006 at 11:22 am

Never heard of that kind of “heater” you are referring to but will keep that definition in mind from now on. I think everytime someone says heater now I will think of that definition instead of the other one.

Hopefully it’s a good chat today with more of a turnout.

4 N June 12, 2006 at 1:16 pm

1 of the 29 defintions for Heater @ urbandictionary kinda matches yours. I think it’s a reach.

5 The Cavalier June 12, 2006 at 1:41 pm

I know I didn’t make it up. Weird.

6 peg June 12, 2006 at 2:09 pm

actually, when i think heater, i think gun.

7 peg June 12, 2006 at 2:09 pm

actually, when i think heater, i think gun.

8 laura June 12, 2006 at 5:06 pm

it’s not heater, it’s a fluffer! get your terms right!

9 laura June 12, 2006 at 5:38 pm

you know what, i just caught my mistake. i meant “hoover”. i didn’t mean to say fluffer.

10 TVBrain June 12, 2006 at 7:36 pm

A heater is a cigarette.
So, you’re awfully close.

11 TVBrain June 12, 2006 at 7:36 pm

A heater is a cigarette.
So, you’re awfully close.

12 Ryle June 12, 2006 at 8:14 pm

A heater is a fastball.

13 Isabella November 22, 2006 at 3:28 am

New lords, new laws… Isabella

14 Isabella November 22, 2006 at 3:29 am

New lords, new laws… Isabella

15 Andrew November 29, 2006 at 8:36 am

He that seeks trouble never misses… Andrew

16 Andrew November 29, 2006 at 8:37 am

He that seeks trouble never misses… Andrew

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