WHO SHOT MAMBA IPHONE

Benny the Bull is punching people

by The Cavalier on July 5, 2006 · 5 comments

benny the bull.pngThat Ben Wallace movement was fun, but we’re sorely lacking in follow-up trades/signings to enjoy.

Get on with it Philly – we want a nice three-way that takes AI somewhere asap.

In the meantime, the only thing going on the Bulls mascot punching a cop.

This isn’t the first time Benny the Bull has been in trouble, although the one who was picked up for pot a couple years ago was a different guy.

Barry Anderson, the Benny the Bull mascot, was charged with misdemeanor battery and driving within a parkway. The 26-year-old man is accused of throwing a punch at the sheriff’s deputy, knocking off his glasses and breaking his watch.

Anderson was riding the motorcycle through the festival without a permit Sunday, Police Capt. James Knightly said. When the off-duty officer, who was working security, tried to stop him, Anderson ran, police said. The officer chased and caught him.

Why are these mascots always on motorbikes of some sort?

We don’t know how many parents with small children are reading, but for those of you who fit that description, listen up to the answer: it’s because the men in the nice mascot costumes are usually ex-cons or people without high school diplomas – usually both.

Yeah, they run around and they’ve got on their happy animal masks, but inside, they’re dark, dark creatures – like new Atlanta Hawk Speedy Claxton.

When we take little Laser to games, we always make sure he’s terrified of the mascots – it’s the only way he’ll be safe. Usually we’ll say something like “Now Laser, that mascot will kill you if he comes over here. You’ll die, so don’t wave to him ever.” Sometimes he doesn’t understand, because he doesn’t speak English yet, so we have to reword it into something like “NO LOOK! NO LOOK! NO LOOK!!!”

{ 5 comments }

1 The Big Picture July 5, 2006 at 1:15 pm

“when mascots turn bad,” premieres Thursday on Fox.

2 J.E. Skeets July 5, 2006 at 1:21 pm

I refuse to watch any movie Jamie Mottram doesn’t endorse…

3 The Cavalier July 5, 2006 at 1:49 pm

Yeah Jamie really thought this was a bad movie, so I couldn’t use his quote.

4 KaLiBLeeK July 5, 2006 at 5:26 pm

It’s about time we got another story involving Laser. Not as great as “your mom’s a whore, I hope you lose in t-ball, I hate you”…but still great.

I still think the best mascot moment was when that retarded moose for the Mariners crashed into the wall and broke his ankle. Mascots getting maimed is always fun.

5 BRTBrown July 13, 2006 at 2:56 am

I can think of nothing lamer than to blame a mascot for something that was obviously an act. Grow the _uc_ UP! The so called officer was in street clothes. How can you compare him to a different loser in the same costume. He should be praised as a hero.

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