The ESPYs are upon us, and if you’re not too busy catching the underwhelming Superman Returns, you can go over and vote for them now.
There are plenty of NBA players up for awards – five, to be exact. You may say that’s not many, but we say it’s plenty.
Don’t ask for justification – here’s your list of NBA nominees.
Best NBA Player: Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash, LeBron James, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwyane Wade
Best Championship Performance: Dwyane Wade
Best Coach: Pat Riley
Best Male: LeBron James
Best Team: Miami Heat
Best Moment: Kobe Bryant
Underarmour Undeniable Performance Award: Kobe Bryant
Best International Athlete: Dirk Nowitzki
Our nonbiased picks are LeBron James for everything, even the categories he’s not in. (Except Best Team – by definition, one person cannot an award that’s meant for multiple people, or an organization.)
As for the rest of the ESPYs, these awards hold a special place in our heart, as it’s both the most meaningless awards show on Earth, and it also gums up traffic in our neighborhood better than anything else, even the Oscars.
Never, ever, ever will you see more block-long Hummer limos as you will on July 16th. We’d love to get in the door and do some crap, but Jamie, overlord of AOL Sportsbloggers Live, says he’s not sure how to pull that off. Our best guess is that calling and saying you need press passes for America Online will work better than us calling and saying we need press passes for YAYsports!.
We’ll also need a per diem of $3000.
An hour.
{ 18 comments }
LeBron is being strangely quiet about his contract extension no?
Altho, if there were any chance he wasn’t taking the offer, that Laker signing of Radmanovic would have never happened.
Don’t forget “Best Comeback: Ronny Turiaf”.
LeBron should take that too…
Woah… and “Best Breakthrough Athlete: Chris Paul”.
You didnt even read the thing, did you?
I no longer have any idea what’s going on…when nene signs a contract as such…I just give up.
hey, speaking of which, did the jen watch dude die or what?
If there’s another fun host like Jamie Foxx then maybe I’ll catch the ESPYs but if not, it’s just another reason for celebrities/athletes to mash it up and have ESPN anchors giving all of them handys.
oh, mr. fun personified, lance armstrong is hosting this year. i’m sure he’s gonna kill it and he was great in dodgeball.
Check out this unsolicited IM conversation I just had on AOL:
PinkPower294: what is your name?
yaysports: why do you ask?
PinkPower294: i want to know who u r
yaysports: who are you
PinkPower294: this is ashley steinberg..
PinkPower294: u r who??
yaysports: how did you get my IM name ashley steinberg?
PinkPower294: idk
PinkPower294: thats why i want to know who u r
PinkPower294: r u a girl boy
PinkPower294: what r u?
PinkPower294: can i at least know ur name??
yaysports: I’m a boy
yaysports: how old are you?
PinkPower294: really?
PinkPower294: 15 and u?
yaysports: 62 lol
PinkPower294: what is ur name?
yaysports: do you work for Dateline NBC?
PinkPower294: whatever ur not 62
PinkPower294: no why?
PinkPower294: what is ur name??
yaysports: Laser
PinkPower294: what is ur name plz???
yaysports: Laser – that’s what my friends call me
PinkPower294: how old r u really?
yaysports: I’m 47 – why would I lie about it?
PinkPower294: bc
That was all.
Dateline will be at your door with a script and contract shortly. You have made yourself a star.
Congratulations!
Please be the guy who takes all his clothes off, then says “I don’t know,” When Chris Dateline asks you what you’re doing.
When he asks what I’m doing, I’m gonna be the first one to say “Where the underage bitches at?”
Just say you didn’t believe her when she told you she was Shawn Kemp’s illegitimate daughter, so you wanted to see for yourself.
Aw, I thought your friends called you “Turbo”.
That was awesome Cav. I was hoping you were going to follow up “Laser” with: ‘Blaze’ and of course, ‘Blazer’ (heh, Karl set up that lil’ Dodgeball theme)
I can’t believe you spoiled Superman 5. Spoiler tags, man!
What did I spoil? Me sorry.
Cav, why do i think that you got slightly excited when this chick said she was 15?
Re: Disabilities
Michael Sweetney: Food
lebron fans should check out this site: http://www.lebronsbikeathon.com
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