JE Skeets (as mentioned on ESPN.com by the Bill Simmons, no less!) is always doing that sharp thinking thing, and surely one of our favorite Canadians is wishing the American contingent a happy 4th of July.
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From the monthly archives:
July 2006
Here’s a quick look at our thoughts over the last twelve minutes:
:00 – “Yeah! This Spider-Man website is awesome! Go Spidey!”
1:00 – “Yeah! I’m going to make some hard boiled eggs!”
2:00 – “Yeah! I’ve successfully taken the pan out of the cupboard, which allows me the means to begin the egg boiling process!”
3:00 – “Yeah! The water is in the pan now!”
4:00 – “Yeah! Now it’s time to turn on the gas on the stove!”
5:00 – “Yeah! I did it! Time to put the eggs in!”
6:00 – “Yeah! Half hour to euphoria!”
7:00 – “Yeah!”
8:00 – “Oh yeah!”
9:00 – “Yeah! Internet time!
10:00 – “Yeah! Ben Wallace is signing with the Bulls!”
11:00 – “Yeah! Go Cavs – your new Central Division champs!!!”
12:00 – “Yeah…the Bulls…they’re in the Central, too. Hm.”
There are many things to ponder here, one of which is why it took so freaking long for us to get out a pan, fill it with water, and put eggs in it. Maybe it’s time we reevaluate things – spend less time self-congratulating over trivial things and more time trying out non-trivial things.
One thing we’re sure of – the Pistons as you knew them are finished. That team was the definition of “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”. They’re also not getting anything back for him, which is Boozerful, particularly since they’re capped out.
Another thing we’re positive on – the Cavaliers’ breakout year is 2006-2007. They’re gonna be riding high on the momentum of their playoff debut, and what’s sure to be a preseason full of “LeBron for MVP” predictions. This regular season is going to be one where they understand what they’re playing for, and that’s homecourt advantage.
One last thing – the Bulls just got even tougher defensively, especially if you consider Big Ben is going to be playing with a “the Pistons pissed me off in some manner” type of shoulder chip. (The 4 years/$52M he’s getting in Chicago is only $4M more than Detroit was offering – guess there were other things working here, huh?)
This is a team that already played with unreal intensity. Somebody teach Tyson Chandler a jump-hook, btw – otherwise that frontline is both the most expensive and the most offensively inept duo in the NBA.
Blog a Bull is pleased. All other involved parties are holidayishly silent as of now.
UPDATE: Big Ben has spoken to the Detroit News, and the deal is worth $60M. That’s A LOT for this guy. Remember, he looked pretty beat during the playoffs at times.
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The Nuggets weren’t finished after giving Melo his inevitable max contract extension, as they spent the weekend giving a six-year, $60M deal to bench player Nene.
Yeah, if Angry Kenyon Martin gets traded as assumed, then Nene is the starting power forward, albeit one that’s coming off ACL surgery. Apparently that’s not a big deal anymore now that we have microfracture surgeries.
Nene last season played only 3 minutes after tearing his right anterior cruciate ligament in the Nov. 1 opener against the San Antonio Spurs and missing the rest of the season. [Nuggets coach George] Karl said the Nuggets would “have a party” if Nene can play 2,000 minutes next season.
“He’s particularly grateful to Stan Kroenke. He stood by him after his injury,” [Nene agent Dan] Fegan said of Nene, who has averaged 10.7 points and 6.2 rebounds in four seasons.
We’re betting George’s Nene party doesn’t happen, although it’s going to have nothing to do with injuries. No, it’ll have everything to do with Nene not being very good.
Nene is one of those guys who was supposed to develop into a powerhouse big man – he’s the type that people are always hyping up his potential, even after four years and four average seasons. (Yes, we count last year’s 3-minute showcase, simply to make our point sound better.)
He is what he is – an average big man off the bench, and now he’s being paid like an upper echelon starter. Says a lot about the state of the big man in today’s NBA, eh? (See: Dampier, Erick and Foyle, Adonal and Chandler, Tyson and Dalembert, Samuel and soon to be Gooden, Drew unfortunately.)
What do we really care though, right? So Denver brings back the exact same team as last year – the one that struggled through the regular season and got embarrassed in the NBA PLAYOFFS. NBA PLAYOFFS in big letters for DRAMATIC TENSION.
(Seriously – are ACL’s not a big deal anymore? We’re not a doctor after that incident in late 03, so we haven’t kept up on such things.)
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While not criticizing Mark Cuban’s antics, or wondering how Peja got $64M to go to NO/OKC, Dirk Nowitzki is surely stuffing his portable music playing device with this brand new one from idol David Hasselhoff. Our commentary below.
We’re of two minds here. One, this cheesy stuff is always hilarious from him, and the fact that this wasn’t done 15 years ago is a bonus bit of funny. On the other hand, it seems like he’s trying to play to the cheese factor now…although it does appear like he actually thinks it’s good, too.
Very confusing. Not confusing is that we’re getting spam-bombed on the comments again, so we’re leaving them off until we straighten it out.
Also, don’t let ESPN’s intentionally misleading headlines fool you, LeBron is having fun on vacation until Friday, and that’s the only reason you haven’t heard confirmation on the contract extension.
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It’s open season on free agents and trades, and the Rnaptors (say it like that – it’s fun) sent the first bit o fun out there by moving Charlie V to the Bucks for spinally fused point guard TJ Ford.
It’s an interesting move that’ll hinge on whether first overall draft pick Doofy Italiano is all he’s supposed to be.
We’re not sure why a promising young big man like CV31 (as his hyperactively unreadable website dubs him) was such an easy get, but the people of Milwaukee are glad to have him.
“It was one of the primary needs that we were focusing on once the season ended . . . getting a power forward,” Bucks general manager Larry Harris said. “We really feel we filled that bill with the acquisition of Charlie Villanueva.
“Having said that, we got a very good player and we gave up a very good player. It goes without saying what T.J. has gone through. We wish him the best of luck and all the things he did for us we really appreciate. But we also feel that we got a tremendous young player who was first-team all-rookie, and was right up there neck-and-neck for rookie of the year.”
DUDE. Larry Harris just went “pun” on TJ Ford’s massive neck injury, whether he meant to or not. We like to think he did it on purpose, mainly because it gives us material.
Alas, great trade for the Bucks either way. Ford was nice but inconsistent, and fused necks are never all that great in terms of long playing careers. Plus, they’ve got a guy named Mo who filled in nicely for Ford when he would go down.
As for Charlie, he and his agent have officially declared the trade funny, which means he’s a great fit with Larry Harris, who wears sandals to press conferences.
That’s about all that’s happened so far, although the Cavaliers have formally offered LeBron the big extension. So, uh…we’ll just sit here and wait now.
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