Hamsters and Ducks are EXPLODING
Published by The Cavalier August 29th, 2006 in EXPLOSIONS
When we exposed our weakness for linking to anything people ask us to the other day, we were email assualted with link requests. Some worthy, some unworthy.
A sampling follows, mainly because there’s nothing else to write about and we’re sworn to do this.
The lads at Simple Minded Entertainment have previewed a bunch of college football using music comparisons or something. Honestly, it’s so confusing and there are so many charts, we’re just going to reprint the email they sent.
Hey Brian,
I’m the hamster from MySpace. On the regular internet I’m a duck go figure. Anyways Monsieur Cavalier, you placed the following on your site:
“Finally, as we’re sworn by our gods of Mount Olympus to do, we continue to link to whatever readers ask us to without question or (much) hesitation.”
So I will take your challenge and ask you to link the most recent update on the Simple Minded Entertainment website on your next update.
It’s an article previewing the upcoming Conference USA football season by comparing the music scenes of the university’s towns. This was all supposed to be part of the music zine - but that failed badly. I know it’s about
football, but technically it’s about sports. If necessary I can add plastic surgeon comments throughout. Just wait until that college basketball season starts. I’m going to use the same article and just replace football with basketball. It will work perfectly.Remember that girl I was hitting on. The one that was going out with the guy from that crappy band. Well, she’s not talking to me anymore and she blocked my MySpace as her friend. I sort of made a comment about her boobs on her blog when she put up a picture of herself in a tight shirt. I guess girls don’t like that sort of thing.
So in light of that, please humiliate me by linking my rant on your blog. Thank you. The hamster and duck nation appreciates it.
Truth of the matter is, hamster and duck people, everyone reading this right now would be in a lot less pain if you’d just sent an email with a pisture of the girl’s boobs and left it at that. Alas, you’ve been linked, and hopefully humiliated in some non-permanent fashion.
Since that took so much space, this dude Hacksaw just gets a non-descript link, since he hasn’t updated his blog since April, yet apparently still yearns for traffic.
Now that we’re really short on space, Amare and Boris, the famous Suns Brothers (new on The CW this fall!), went to the opening of one of those Pink Taco joints in the PHX.
Oh, and just so we’re all clear, Raja Bell’s site still isn’t launched, which means it’s possible Who Shot Mamba? could still beat it into existence.
If not, we may head back east for some sweet, sweet New Jersey Hair Restoration. If you’re gonna get your hair restored, you may as well do it in Jersey, right?
We have to be honest, we’ve though about hair restoration - not so much because we need it, but because we want to be prepared when we do. It’s not that we’re completely vain - it’s just 99.99%, and Dr. Pistone is the one who will could possibly (if it were necessary, which it’s NOT) do the job, despite his DET-ish name.
A title like that emits a force much stronger than Skywalker’s voodoo that forces you to click the link.
In other news, I am wearing a shirt that is almost EXACTLY the same as Kobe’s, except without all the faggy Lakers colors (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
It’s not that confusing. And it only has three charts. And I don’t think the girl in question will actually ever talk to me again after reading this. So all in all, this post was more devastating than humiliating. At least we got increased traffic out of this.
Keep in mind I don’t know anything about college football outside Ohio State, so that contributes to the confusion for me.
So what happened with the Maurice Clarett post then?
Here’s a Clippers rant that I wrote last year. I believe this article is where the turn around began:
http://www.simplemindedentertainment.com/SimpleMindedRants-Sports1.htm
(Shameless Self-Promotion)
What am I, chopped liver? If you wanted a link, all you had to do was ask. That or perform some sort of degrading act involving a carrot, a paint can, and jumper cables. Which ever you prefer will suffice.
Re: Maurice Clarett
See that big thing that says “NBA”?
Lucas, you trying to go to war? HAHAHA…And how much more masculine are the Suns colors than the lakers??? Aren’t they pretty much the same colors???
Jones, the Suns colors are clearly much more masculine than the Lakers. If you got your head out of that Los Angeles pollution you would be able to see that.
Well, nothing beats Toronto’s old colors. They beat Los Angeles and Phoenix combined. They are the apex of masculinity.
Clearly, having more masculine colors than us hasn’t helped you in the championship ring dept…