We’ve talked before about what a great owner Dan Gilbert is for the Cavs, and we’ve even talked before about the wonderful new practice facility he’s building for Ira Newble and the rest of the team.
Details of that building are now public, and the thing looks pretty freaking cool, if you’re ready to buy into the blueprints and CGI models.
The chances of us ever actually stepping foot on the property are low, but we’re no less excited with the prospects of its existence. Features and highlights are as follows.
Key features include:
# Two adjacent regulation NBA courts with a total of 6 hoops
# Extra large, strength and conditioning training area that over looks the playing court area.
# Large theater-style team meeting room for video instruction with over-sized seating.
# Three spacious locker rooms for Cavs players, visiting teams, and staff.
# Underground parkingTechnological Highlights:
# Meeting areas for players, coaches, and the scouting staff with video and computer based training tools.
# New video and editing room with the latest advances allowing faster and deeper and more detailed looks at games, players and statistics.
# In-house studio facilities for media interviews and broadcasting needs with satellite capability delivering the Cleveland Cavaliers message directly from the player development facility all over the world.
We’re not into conspiracies and such, but doesn’t that last “highlight” sound a little like “we’re starting a cult and going to beam the cult-getting mechanisms directly into your brains from our secret HQ that’s disguised as a basketball court and some offices”?
Speaking of offices, we can’t get over the fact of how much this building reminds us of getting some Rhinoplasty in Los Angeles, and rhinoplasty specialist Dr. Paul Nassif’s office in Beverly Hills.
We’ve never been there personally (Just like the Cavs secret HQ…again.), but according to the site, this guy has been on Dr. 90210. That’s television, which means it’s important. You know it’s true because we used italics.
Anyway, from now on we’re sending people over to Dr. Nassif for their free nose jobs. That’s not to imply Paul works for free, only that we’ll be paying for the nose jobs. If you want a free nose job, make sure and email us right here, and we’ll put you on the list.
(This, once again, was in no way a paid advertisement. In fact, we’re desperate to fill that sweet, sweet void of NBA news by talking about nose jobs for at least one more post. That’s according to our contract our internal desires that are uninfluenced by monetary compensation.)
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