YAYsports! NBA

With the official exile of Bruce Bowen, Team USA is all assembled, and Coach K has named LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Carmelo Anthony as the squad’s captains.

(Captains here listed in order of our favorites.)

This was a sensible and wonderful choice of captainship, if you ask us. These are the team’s three leading scorers, and by all accounts, the trio should be (more or less) the face of the NBA by the time the 2008 Olympic Games roll around.

Coach K…agrees!

“It was a pretty easy decision to select those three guys,” Krzyzewski said. “From the very start they have asserted themselves and showed leadership through how hard they worked, their cooperation and the fact that they wanted to be like everyone else. They didn’t come in as stars, they came in as members of the team. Everyone looks up to them and they look up to them even more now because they have set such a good example.”

What he’s saying there is pretty much exactly what he’s saying.

Were this all stil under Larry Brown’s watch, we’d likely have something more like Chris Bosh being named captain, with the explanation being something like “LeBron and Wade just aren’t getting it. I hope they die. Battier, too. I don’t understand why they can’t do what I want.”

Fortunately, between a sensible coach and a team that’s dominating exhibitions, happy times seem to be ahead for USA Basketball. Hey, you know what else makes people happy? Nose jobs.

We’ve never actually had a nose job done to our own face, although we have sanctioned hundreds of nose jobs for other people. Many of those nose jobs actually didn’t go so well. In fact, almost all of them were bad.

Fortunately, we didn’t have to have these legions of people we bought rhinoplasty nose surgery for walking around with their faces mangled. That’s right, ever since we ran into Revision Rhinoplasty (linked above!), we simply send them over, and within minutes, they’re reading up on all the wonderful and simple ways they can have their bad nose job corrected.

Now, you may be asking, “Hey The Cavalier, why would someone who got a bad nose job on your advice, continue to follow your advice to fix their bad nose job? Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to seek alternative council at that point?”

Right you are, but that’s just how good Revision Rhinoplasty is! Under the guidance of Dr. Daniel Becker (no, not the one from TV, silly!), you too can have your awful nose job corrected. He’s so good, in fact, we’ve actually been sending people out to get horrible nose jobs on purpose, just to see how much damage Dr. Becker can correct!

(YAYsports! was absolutely, positively not paid in any way, shape or form to write the previous paragraphs. This is simply our way of filling the non-NBA news month with something of use.*)

* indicates a lie