Amare Stoudemire is losing furniture

One of the most closely watched storylines of this impending 06-07 season will be the return of Suns PF/C Amare Stoudemire, whose name we’ve finally learned to spell correctly.

Most of you will remember that the young superstar was out almost all of last season with the dreaded microfracture knee surgery – the same procedure that has ruined a bunch of other players’ lives.

Well, Amare has the best of intentions, and says his goal is to get back to All-Star form for Steve Nash, Raja Bell (DOT COM!), and the rest of his PHX buddies.

With his daily workout done and his shaved scalp drying, Amaré Stoudemire unwinds on a misplaced couch.

“I’m back to a windmill dunk off one leg. I’m taking off outside the paint. My creativity in the air is coming back. I think I’m going to gradually improve throughout the season. I’m not quite sure if I’m going to be 100 percent by the regular season. But wherever I start the season, I’ll gradually improve and next year will even be better.”

“I’m like the Phoenix bird,” he said. “I’m kind of reincarnating myself. I’m looking forward to being in Vegas on All-Star weekend and playing on Sunday.”

With the lack of quality big men in the NBA, we’re hoping right along with everyone else that Amare can beat the odds and become the player he once was, although a second look at that passage has us a little on edge with the concept.

If you hadn’t guessed by now, the thing that’s bothering us is that misplaced couch he’s spending so much time on. Here’s the deal – we lost a couch once (although we called it el sofa Americana), and we just have this nagging feeling it’s the one Amare is using to rehab on.

This doesn’t offend us – it doesn’t even scare us. What it does do is make us realize what that poor, little lost el sofa Americana really thought of us. We let it go, you see, and it didn’t come back.