The latest in the saga of Bonzi Wells (aka “the guy who ruined all the NBA annuals that are already on the stands”) is that he’s talking with the Houston Rockets.
They don’t have much money to offer, nor do they likely have a starting spot. They do, however, have an awesome 1-year, $2.1M insult to hand out.
We say insult not because that’s not a lot of money to a normal person, but because on the scale that gives Mike Dunleavey, Jr. $9M per (or whatever), Bonzi is at like $40M per. It’s his own fault. Let’s move on.
The first teaser to Who Shot Mamba?. After our subtle statement it’d be here today, it clearly isn’t.
The reason is thus: we got overexcited. It’s too early. See, there are four teasers in all. In order to properly run promotion of the film, they really should come out in BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM intervals, with a fifth, evenly spaced BAM being the glorious unveiling of Episode One.
Were we to debut the first teaser today, then you’re getting a BAM——-BAM-BAM-BAM spacing pattern. It makes all those dashes in the middle a big momentum killer, when in reality, the single dash is just enough time to let you breathe a bit and get excited for the next BAM.
Hopefully this makes sense, and you’ll accept our apology for saying we’d do something and then not doing it. If it doesn’t make sense, just go read about the Nets extending their current arena lease while still planning to move to Brooklyn before the new extension is over.
After reading that mess, coming back to the BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM theory should be quite soothing.
(MattB, you’re up. Make it a good one!)
{ 19 comments }
I’m switching to Matt’s team, I can’t believe you fooled people into giving you money for this. Have fun on your stupid jet-ski
I am – it goes 800mph!
BDP-
Jet-ski is such a crass, almost mongrel-esque term. Yacht would be more apropos, and yes, we are having fun on it.
Did Emeril Lagasse write today’s post?
Does it say he did? What the fuck is wrong with you, Skeets?
I personally wouldn’t be upset if the teasers ran in the formation of the second “bam” spacing pattern. There isn’t anything else going on.
Yah Skeets – John Madden wrote the post.
You’re my hero.
It’s worth all that money you stole…I mean raised…just to see you come up with new BS each week.
If they can lose the lunar landing footage then certainly mambo footage can dissapear.
Matt as long as you’re entertained and the BDP is in AZ, I’m happy.
So I guess it’s not cool if I move again?
Any word back from rajabell.com yet?
Dude, me and the BDP better show up somewhere in these teasers…
Maybe the fourth one Jones. BDP especially could be funny at the very end.
DonP I’m calling the Raja guy tomorrow. No response to my email.
What ever happened to the “Dia” part of the Raja website?
can we at least get a conclusion to the Life Cereal series? It says something about the state of the entertainment industry when I’m anticipating the development of a plot involving a stuffed Panda, an Alf in a baby Cavs jersey, and a box of cereal more than anything on TV.
The effects people are still working on the flight tests for Life Cereal. Should be done in the next few months.
There are more ways to the wood than one… Helegor
There are more ways to the wood than one… Helegor
There are more ways to the wood than one… Helegor
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