YAYsports! NBA

There are several perks to running a website of a sizable readership.

One of those is whores. The other is the ability to amass a distinguished legal team to analyze situations such as Isiah Thomas’s sexual harrassment suit. A third is that you can verbally abuse that legal team and make them do said analysis for free.

Hot off yesterday’s development in the case, crack Honorary Generalisimo Pro Tempore YAYsports! General Counsel Johnny Killbane wrote up the following for us.

the eeoc is made up of silly, silly bueracrats. in fact, whenever you are in their offices it always smells of microwave popcorn. in the “office dweller world” this scent is a dead giveaway that the support
staff is actually running the show and, therefore, nothing real ever gets done. it’s sort of like dogs marking their teritory. except in this case, it’s fat cow secretaries who have pictures of usher and leonardo dicaprio in their cubicles and work 2.4 hours a day marking their territory. in short, it’s the scent of calcified mediocrity.

anyhow, all the eeoc does is issue a “right to sue” letter. getting a “right to sue” letter is slightly more difficult than putting a quarter in a gumball machine and getting a gumball and slightly less difficult that falling out of a boat and hitting water. assuming the boat’s in a body of water in the first place.

still, from this lawyer’s perspective it’s pretty clear what happened: z. is a man of large appetites. there’s probably some fucking in their somewhere. and the thing will settle with no details ever really being released. which is a shame.

A shame indeed, and we finally can feel safe that it’s “councel” with an ‘e’ instead of an ‘i’. Bigger thing is that yesterday’s step forward was just some lady with a rubber stamp and an Usher balloon, although not in the court of public opinion.

What Johnny missed is that someone like Zeke probably does keep his boat on land - not because he’s unintelligent, but because it makes it easier to do all the shoulder touching and the throwing out of lines like “This is just like that movie Love and Basketball“. (He said this - read the archives.)

Once upon a time we were going to come up with a list of Zeke pick-up lines, but then…aw, hell. Here you go:

Remember that guy? Used to play ball - one of the greatest PGs of all time.