(NOTE: This post was written about 9 hours before the unfortunate passing of Celtics legend Red Auerbach, so please don’t take offense where none was intended. RIP Mr Auerbach.)
Remember when Paul Pierce got that paper cut and it was infected and he had to have balf his fingernail removed and we made fun of it and it was interesting and/or funny depending on your status as a a fan of Paul Pierce?
Well, turns out that wasn’t just a random infection, but an outbreak of some kind of bacteria, and the team has announced it has to sanitize both their practice facility and the arena.
No word on if this stems from a box of Hostess snacks Antoine Walker left in the locker room two years ago or not.
The bacterial infection is Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus, commonly known as MRSA. The Celtics are “aggressively undertaking steps to test each of our basketball staff members and players” and “are professionally cleaning our facilities in Waltham and at the TD Banknorth Garden,” according to a statement released by the team. The practice facility will be sanitized from top to bottom this weekend.
With the Celtics having gone 3-5 in the preseason, there can be only one conclusion, and that’s no conclusion.
The cold hard facts say that the Boston Celtics are diseased. That can’t be denied, because it was in the newspaper.
What else is there to say? Obviously nothing, which is why we found three different ways to say the exact same thing in the post-blockquote area of this post.
Don’t go to Boston – you’ll die, just like Paul Pierce almost did. From a papercut.
(NOTE: That pink thing is a stuffed syphillis toy, in case you’re wondering. Just in time for Christmas.)
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Sounds like the Celtics need to visit Kneehigh Park to learn about the dangers of the world.
Aww, his syphillis is much cuter than mine.
>>Don’t go to Boston – you’ll die, just like Paul Pierce almost did. From a papercut.
Poor Red Auerbach. =(
You’re an idiot.
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