Chris Webber is a free agent

This has been bubbling for awhile, and it seems as if it’s finally confirmed and complete – the Seventy-Sixers have bought out PF Chris Webber, making him an official free agent.

Word is he got 38 of the 43 million bucks he’s still owed on his contract, so that’s not too bad of a deal for him, when you consider he’s already banked way over $100M in his career and can now go shop himself to contenders.

The question, of course, is which contender? Let’s do exactly what you’d expect a blog to do in a situation like this – run down the list of possibilities.

(Normally, we try to do what you wouldn’t expect, thus by doing what would be expected, we are doing exactly that. Add in that it’s Opposite Day, and we win again.)

That list:

Miami - Home of the misplaced, displaced, and past their prime, but still likable vets. We don’t really know how he fits here, but we could see him having a Gary Payton type thing, where he has a few key moments that contribute to important wins.

Detroit – This is Max’s home from way back, so there’s a lot of sense to this. We expect fans would be torn by it – it’s a homecoming, but do they really want anyone to interrupt the emergence of Jason Maxi-whatever?

New York – This is the rumored one, and Zeke has that Michigan-state connection with Webber. Of course, this would be an instant disaster, as every personnel move the Knicks make is. We’ll vote for this one. (And yeah – with the Knicks a game out of first in the Atlantic, you have to call them a Playoff contender. Sorry.)

LA Lakers – Just because their message boards will insist on it. They could use the help inside, as well, and Webber would be an interesting triangle player.

Orlando – Only brought up because this moustache-laden Orlando blog suggests it. They’re more of an on-the-rise team, though. Why take time away from Darko?

Sacramento – They’re not a realistic bet to go to the Playoffs at this time, but this could be nice and happy in a way. Maybe they could trade for Disabled Peja, too.

The problem with all of these is that Webber really can’t play the way he wants anymore, but he doesn’t seem ready to become Gary Payton yet. We’ve always liked the guy – hopefully he finds a situation that works out for everyone.

That said, maybe it’s time to do something else, like running for President, or Vice-President, or another position in politics, like Boss or Judge. The point is, no more troops in Iraq! Send them to Iceland – let’s sink that little f–ker and show everyone we mean business about global warming.*

*Sorry about the political rant, but we’ve long hated Iceland and their policies.