Steve Nash is so good

In the spirit of staying as current as possible, we’ll be rolling out these reader submitted recaps in whatever order we get them, and whichever way we get them.

Unfortunately, the first one we received for this morning’s CLE-PHX game was from the infamous “Boney” in the comments section to a previous post.

The Cavaliers lost on national TV – as is our vow, we did not watch. Not until they try all the time. Here are Boney’s responses to our stock Cavs questions.

1) What was the team’s effort level on a scale of 1-14?

6. I think the team was more concerned with how many double clutches LeBron was going to make on his dunks.

2) What was the estimated ratio of times “Coach Mike spit into that cup” to “times Coach Mike said something that looked halfway motivating”?

Coach Mike didn’t coach at all. All he did was stand there with his half assed smile most of the game as Steve Nash carved up whatever was thrown at him.

3) Did LeBron care tonight or not? Don’t tell us his stats, because he canput up a triple double without even concentrating.

LeBron appeared to only care because the game was on their home court and on sunday afternoon “primetime”. LeBron can’t hit a free throw to save his life, and he only cares how many double clutches he can make on his way to a thunderdunk.

4) Did Daniel Gibson play? Details please.

Who cares? He’s no answer to Steve Nash.

5) How many times did you find yourself muttering and/or screaming, “Stop taking so many freaking jumpshots!!!” or something of that ilk? Please explain briefly.

I appreciate when the Cavs take jumpshots. It shows they’ve basically given up on being aggressive.

BONUS: Did missed free throws play a part in the loss, if in fact they did lose? YES/NO will suffice here.

Missed free throws didn’t play a part in the loss. Being outplayed and outclassed is the reason you lost.

Okay, let’s set aside for a second that these are supposed to be unbiased, Boney.

Although these sessions are disguised as an entertaining service for the reasdership, in actuality these are all about helping us decide when it’s okay to rejoin Cavaliers fandom.

Therefore, when you don’t even answer some of the questions, you fail to provide this service. The best example is question for, known in some circles as “The Daniel Gibson Equation”.

Did he play or not? We understand that you have a deep anti-Cleveland rage that burns inside, so you can even have a pass to go Philly on the team all you want, but you need to at least give us the baseline information first.

Worse yet is you performance in the BONUS round, when it’s explicitly stated that a YES/NO answer is sufficient. We see a “yes-ish” statement, ie they weren’t hitting them. We could even deal with that, if not for the unsolicited class level designations you went to.

Poor performance, Boney. You’re also supposed to email these in. We’re disappointed – usually our internet stalkers enjoy the email and direct contact process. Perhaps you’re not as creepy and semi-dangerous as we thought.

(The BONUS question needs to be tweaked. We’re more looking to know if they hit them or not. With the margins by which they lose lately, the game being decided on their missed free throws often just isn’t possible.)