For those unaware – we’re recapping December, which we used to not blog.
We were actually watching this game, and turned it off because of a combo of the game being a blow-out and the Nuggets’ black uniforms taking us someplace we didn’t want to go.
That’s a personal story for another time, so let’s focus on the matter which was at hand – the fight we missed.
You all know what happened – Denver was up big, George Karl kept his starters in, Coach Zeke said don’t go in the paint, JR Smith went in the paint, lots of shoving/tackling ensued, Nate Robinson kept putting his lil’ dukes up, and Carmelo Anthony snuck a punch in on Mardy Collins.
Of course, Melo then retreated to the far side of the court faster than fast. This was clearly because he thought the best place to continue the fight would be over there, not because he was acting like a girl.
(No offense intended toward those female readers who enjoy a good throwdown.)
Suspensions were awarded (led by Melo’s 15 games), and there was much outrage and shame throughout the land that this was “so shameful” and “wrong” and “embarrassing” for the NBA. To quote Les French, “no way”.
This was awesome, and ratings would be 800% better if there was a guarantee of a fight breaking out at every single game. Think about it – someone from the future shows up and tells you there’s a fight in tonight’s Boston-Portland game.
After you get done quizzing the time traveller on the logistics of time travel, aren’t you tuning in? (Your answer is “yes”.)
Also worth noting was the idea that NBA fights draw so much more attention than baseball or football rumbles because of the advanced height of the league’s players.
This is absolutely true, and if there’s anything to be ashamed of, it’s that. It’s time to stop persecuting tall people, and instead come down on short people, who are crowding this country’s jails at an obscene rate.
There was a lot more to this, but to sum up: fights, lil’ dukes, time travel, people calling Zeke names, and said Zeke ordering take-downs…good. Suspensions, media over-reaction, fake sensitivity, and height discrimination…bad.
UPDATE: A Denver Broncos (that’s el football Americano) cornerback was shot and killed in a driveby shooting last night. Any doubt if this was a tall NBA player, the entire world would be calling for the shutdown of the entire league?
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