The names come at you like a hurricane.
DirkGilbertDamonJasonJasonMike.
One after the other after the other and then two that are the same and then a last one that’s somewhat ordinary compared to the rest.
What are they? Why, they’re the contestants in the All-Star 3-Point Shootout, which around about 1992 or 1993, became far and away the best part of All-Star Saturday Night.
Just to clarify for those of you who don’t read hurricane:
[Dirk Nowitzki] aims to become the first back-to-back winner since Peja Stojakovic, winner of the competition in 2002 and 2003. The seven-footer will face 2006 runner-up and Eastern Conference All-Star starter Gilbert Arenas of the Washington Wizards, Cleveland Cavaliers guard Damon Jones, Miami Heat forward and the NBA’s leader in three-point shooting percentage Jason Kapono, Memphis forward Mike Miller, as well as Nowitzki’s Dallas teammate, Jason Terry.
No doubt this should be quite the entertainment, with Damon Jones already guaranteeing he’s gonna win. (His recent 0-10,453 slide in actual NBA games hasn’t been taken into account here.)
Beyond the fierce competition, watching Gilbert Arenas do anything is usually fun, and Damon Jones (Who we mentioned last sentence – sloppy!) will do his best to make everyone think he’s the coolest guy in the room.
Dirk is German, so there’s that. Jason Terry, Mike Miller, and Jason Kapono will be there, too. Hm. That’s all.
We don’t think this’d be cool at all, but what if this year they had judges for the three-point contest and did the dunk on a “how many you make in 3 minutes” system?
That way the dunk contest becomes like an endurance event, and the shootout just becomes an undecipherable mess? Discuss amongst yourselves when you’re done wondering why Kwame Brown is out for another 6 weeks with a bruise.
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Make the dunk contest a timed free-for-all with all the players out there at once and the 3-Point contest a distance/HORSE game. I’d watch.
Yeah but then you have those closet bestiality freaks in the NBA and while HORSE might be innocent to us, they would take it a different way
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