Looking at the games on the schedule tonight, obviously CLE-WAS is the one we’re gonna be eyeing the closest, followed by the true game of interest, HOU-UTA Game 5. They’re tied up 2-2 and all. (Spurs-Nuggets is a San Antonio formality as far as we’re concerned.)
Our picks would be CLE, UTA, SAS. We simply don’t trust the universe to grant Tracy McGrady anything. Nothing against McGrady, it’s just an astrology thing.
With that business out of the way, let’s focus on something more fun. As we mentioned in the last post, the reference to us being in semi-retirement was fake infuriating.
THAT SAID, how long would it take for traffic to go down to zero, were we to actually go into retirement? For the record, we had a blog once before, and it’s been out of commission since July 2005. People still check it – we just checked the traffic, and it had 2 people visit lasterday.
That blog had a max traffic level of about 7,000 people daily. This site got, in its heyday, over four times that amount in terms of visitation.
(The “heyday” would’ve been last year’s Playoffs, when we were good for 5-6 posts per day, the material was still fresh, the Orange Roundie was created, and the snake movie hadn’t yet started its symbiotic relationship with our body and mind.)
Since that time, we’ve had two extended absences, decreased output, substitute teachers, a regular season void of any and all passion from the vast majority of participants, and we got the flu that one time.
The question becomes, how long would a true blog suicide take? And we’re not talking abandonment – we’re talking like if we intentionally started tanking the site.
For example, what if starting with the next post, out of nowhere and without explanation, we exclusively posted short essays on the importation trends in the sausage industry of colonial New Hampshire? How long would you stick around? If you did, would you question what was going on, or become strangely addicted to reading these essays every day, just to see if they would stop at some point?
Do you think about these things? We do, especially when every first round series is nearly a sweep or involves Derek Fisher v Rafer Alston. More Warriors games, less Manu Ginobli.
(We choose the “importation trends in the sausage industry of colonial New Hampshire” because we actually did this once on some high school aptitude test wherein we were supposed to write an essay about one person from history we could spend a day with.)
{ 23 comments }
I’d read about sausages. Especially if you had some cool photoshop.
In other news, tanking might get you that great freshman writer out of college you’ve been aspiring to write for you.
The only way you would be able to tank is to become predictable and dull.
And I don’t think you are genetically capable of that.
Colonial New England Sausage? It wasn’t predictable, and it doesn’t sound that dull.
And even if you hired somebody to be predictable and dull for you, loyal readers who tend to “overthink” would probably think this was some Andy Kaufman type performance.
Ever since Duchamp nobody knows what’s good anymore.
I was actually planning on doing a history of sausage graphic novel. We should collaborate.
This sausage talk must come to an end. It’s making me uncomfortable.
Jack Cobra and McBias likes sausage, in more ways than one!
First, good to see Boney showing up again; it’s the only thing “up” about him, but hey, it’s something. And Boney’s first choice for his ID was “Boney-Lover”, until Brian asked him to make it a little less obvious. The Pistons fandom was bad enough. Your point?
Boney,
I would say I missed you when you weren’t around commenting….but I didn’t. Big Ben will have a better return to Detroit Rock City than Darko had, you can count on that.
Jack
Darko is going to be rich.
A lot of talk coming from a guy who’s team hasn’t done anything except reserve their spot in the NBA lottery since 1999… grab your bookbag Mr. Cobra, you’re going to learn a few things starting sunday..
To MCBIAS???
You and I both know that I love you… I dont love you in the way that The Cavalier loves sausage from the northeast *shudder*, but I do love you… no matter what JackCobra says about you
Now be a dear, and all of you leave comments on my MySpace page, it’s beginning to look like I have no friends!
Fine, more Myspace comments it is. For an extra $20, I shall add appropriate references to “last night’s hot party in your friend’s mansion” and “wow, WHO was that girl who was all over you last night? Does she have a sister?”
nice! that’s what I like to see…
I’ve tried to leave The Cavalier comments in the hopes that he’ll leave something along the lines of “hey, last night at the premiere of WSM!, Daniel Baldwin was asking where you were…”
But then again, WSM! hasn’t premiered, and even Daniel Baldwin may say no if asked to be a part of the cast
I kid I kid..
By using the term ‘tanking’ do you mean like how the Celtics ‘tanked’ during the season so they could get more lottery balls?
the singing girl on the leftmost of the picture is so definitely hot
i’d sort of marry her in half a heart beat
imaginin her in my oversized tshirt
in the mornin while
wow
Here is what frightens me most about the Cavs: the plays they run coming out of time-outs … what in the hell are they discussing during the timeouts? I’d say Mike Brown can’t possibly have drawn up a play that involved LeBron taking a challenged, fade-away 19-foot jumpshot against the shot clock but … frankly I wouldn’t be shocked if Brown’s clipboard featured LeBron making a shot from half court with a rainbow following the arc of the shot and elves and unicorns and animated candy canes celebrating around him.
All coaches draw pictures of Batman. I thought we’d establshed this.
I know Flip Saunders draws Batman!
Da-na na-na na-na na-na Batman Batman Batman!
If you talked about old-timey sausage from New England, I’d read it. Then in conversation when sausage came up I would be the foremost expert in the room. I’d be respected, land the hottest girl in the room, and we’d play hide-the-sausage.
…like you do with CC Sabathia!
The Cavalier
May 1st, 2007 at 7:39 am
All coaches draw pictures of Batman. I thought we’d establshed this.
Dear Fi-Fi,
clearly if u saw stuff, mike brown cant coach and cleveland is a joke.
take james out, and u have… shit.
eric snow
donyell marshall
hughes
ilgaukes
gooden
snow cant play anymore. he cant penetrate and cant take 20feet jumpeees. hell, he cant even take a 15 footer. fuck he cant even take a layup! i saw him dotch a ungaurded fast break layup.
we can put a 1feet tall elf in there and he’d be able to do a mr eric.
as long as he can make a chest pass, he is a ‘mr eric’
hughes doesnt care anymore
ilgauskes is dying (albeit at a faster tall european bad knees center kind of a way)
gooden is all talent and no brains
A for effort tho. but a dude who tips a rebound into his own basket with nobody but a teamate tryin rebound is not a playoff or championship caliber PF.
so Lebron doesnt get exicted about this team. apart from the enormous amount of money he makes, i cant blame him.
its hard when the most interesting and ENthusIactic player on your team is Damon Jones.
oh yeah sorry, to get back to the point
Dear FiFi,
its a batman picture and not a rainbow.
mike brown is not a coach. he’d make a good asst coach with good stat analysis and play by play comments, but i repeat, he is NOT a coach.
he cant even draw his batmans right
I banged all of those chicks….HARD
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