Don Nelson and Mark Cuban Go Into a Bar…Only One Walks Out Alive
Published by Jack Cobra May 3rd, 2007 in NBA, Washington Wizards, Girls, Vegas, Vince Carter, Who Shot Mamba?, Wikipedia
Everyone has been throwing up that “The Warriors” movie picture and I just couldn’t do it this time, I hope you don’t mind.
As everyone knows tonight the Golden State Warriors try to close out one of the most exciting playoff matchups in recent history with a victory over the Dallas Mavericks. There are so many storylines here to talk about……and they’ve all been beaten to death at this point. No, Mark Cuban is not going to ‘blow up’ the Mavs team and sell the franchise if they lose. Yes, Cuban and Warriors Head Coach Don Nelson have an ongoing feud because of money. Yes, the Golden State home crowd is ridiculously loud. All of these points have been made.
Because of all the media hype surrounding this series I’m left either regurgitating stuff you already know about or making my own stuff up. I prefer making things up, I’ve been doing it thus far, so I think I’ll stick with it.
Who would win in a fist fight? Don Nelson or Mark Cuban. Cuban is obviously younger, but Nelson has ‘old man power’ going for him. On top of that, Cuban is a computer geek, whereas Nelson is a…..coach. Hmm…..that’s not much of a step up when it comes to toughness. They both have goofy hairstyles, are a bit overweight and both like to drink.
So, here is my question for you (and my last post of the day)….Don Nelson and Mark Cuban walk into a bar and begin arguing…..who wins in a fist fight? This is straight up one on one with no entourages. You can use anything that’s inside the bar (stools, bottles, pool sticks, etc.), so that’s what you are working with. From reading the blogs of most of the commenters here (except I can’t find Boney’s?), I know you have some good imaginations and story telling skills, go for it.
Oh, I’m picking the Mavs tonight and in Game 7.
Cuban would beat the crap out of Nelson with bricks of hundos. KO in the first round.
Cubans are great boxers.
Come on, we all know that Nellie loves the sauce and surely has been in a barfight or 800. The man would no how to break a beer bottle into a shiv and would know which bottles of scotch make the best beating toys. Nellie wins
Psh…Nellie could just absorb Cuban’s shots with his beer belly, then dismantle Mark after he gets exhausted. No contest.
you cant f with old man strenf. cubes is pretty crazy though, like crackhouse rat crazy.
id go with nelson though, if you feel a man owes you cash and said man has not paid, well my friend, you have plenty to fight for.
it reminds me of that seinfeld when…
don nelsons more creative and would use said items to kick mark cubans ass.
cuban on the other hand, probably never fought a fight in his life, he prolly always had bodyguards around.
i’ll take don. plus, im a warriors fan.
you forgot to mention a matter critical to this hypothetical: can one (or both) of them smash a birthday cake on the other?
needless to say, i’ll refrain from entering the fray, as it were, until i get a little clarifcation on this point.
If there is a birthday cake present, yes. Anything inside of the bar is fair game.
The Warrior girl wins.
if she is gettin laid by that black dude off the green mile,
then the barstool wins (nelly nell and ‘cuban sensation’ marky mark both decide to jerk off at the same time to the phoenix suns steve nash on tv and slip on a beer patch just as they think of his flowing canadian hair therefore slippin and hittin their head on the barstool at the same time. then they get raped by that black dude off the green mile.)
well.. fuck… go warriors all the way…
trade dirk
This is an ass beating to say the least.
SUICIDE WATCH: Mark Cuban
Nellie is a beast. He’d destroy Cuban in a fistfight.
Freedarko said it best: “Nellie is Jesus in mock turtlenecks”
Also, the owing money thing would definitely play into it. You don’t fuck with Nellie’s money.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/byucygnus/caveman.gif
sums up the series perfectly
Nellie has too much Class to fight Girlymen like Cuban, The Best Part of Mark Cuban rolled down ” Carrot Tops ” Leg when he was Humping Roisie O’donnell to Produce a Mark Cuban! Cuban should be a Poster Boy for Abortion Rights Activitists as to why Roe V. Wade should Never be Repealed!