WHO SHOT MAMBA IPHONE

The Big Lead is talking movie trilogies

by The Cavalier on May 14, 2007 · 51 comments

Marty McFly

Okay, we left a comment over in The Big Lead’s comment section regarding their list of greatest movie trilogies, and there was just no way we cold say everything we wanted to – let’s just start here: any list of movie trilogies that doesn’t include Back To the Future in its top 5 demands an overwritten response such as this.

This type of list is impossible for us without disclaimers, so consider this our official comment. Make sure you read to the end, where there’s a shocking announcement! (*means part 3 (or 2 or 4…) is out this summer)

Greatest Trilogies:
1) Back to the Future
2) Star Wars (Original)
3) Indiana Jones
4) Pirates of the Carribean*
5) The Brave Little Toaster

Legitimately Great, But Personally We’re Just Not That Into Them
1) Godfather
2) Austin Powers
3) Lord of the Rings

Pretty Great, But More Like A Series of Movies; Not Really A Cohesive Trilogy Because None of the Movies Have Anything to do With Each Other:
1) Die Hard*
2) Lethal Weapon
3) Mission: Impossible
4) Batman (Keaton/Kilmer)
5) Vacation

Could’ve Been Great, But Messed Up Either 2, 3, or Both:
1) The Matrix (We actually really liked 2, it was 3 that was unwatchable.)
2) Spider-Man* (3 – unforgivable.)
3) Star Wars (Prequels – we really liked the first one, second one sucked, thrid one was okay.)
4) Terminator (3 sold out the whole thing.)
5) X-Men (Actually, 2 was the only good one.)

Screwed Up Right From the Start, But Could Redeem Themselves:
1) Superman Returns
2) Fantastic Four*

Great, In Spite of Itself:
1) Rocky I-V (Rocky Balboa doesn’t count, because it was horrible. III & IV are classics.)

Not Great, But Very Watchable:
1) Ocean’s 11*
2) The Bourne Identity*
3) Rush Hour*
4) Scream
5) Robocop

Great, But Never Should’ve Been A Trilogy:
1) Major League
2) Naked Gun

Should Be Great Trilogies Once They’re Done:
1) WSM?
2) Batman (The new ones.)
3) Shrek*
4) High School Musical (Look, she’s almost 19 now, okay?)

That’s all, except for the shocking announcement that Becky will sleep with you if you take her to the Nets game tonight. Boney – here’s the link to Expedia!

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{ 47 comments }

1 becky May 14, 2007 at 4:52 pm

I said SOMEONE will. No Becky Guaranteed. CAN’T YOU READ????

2 becky May 14, 2007 at 4:53 pm

Also, this goes for a potential Game 6.

3 TVBrain May 14, 2007 at 5:19 pm

Great, But Never Should’ve Been A Trilogy:
The Exorcist
The Omen

4 TVBrain May 14, 2007 at 5:24 pm

Nice little pre-game fire up GIF at the official web-site, even if it does point out how redundant RISE UP is.
http://www.nba.com/cavaliers/2007Playoff_RiseUp_070514.html

5 dave May 14, 2007 at 5:25 pm

Great, But Never Should’ve Been A Trilogy, And Never Was:

Apocalypse Now

6 becky May 14, 2007 at 6:05 pm

should have been a trilogy:
Bill & Ted
totally.

7 Johnny Kilbane, esq. May 14, 2007 at 6:46 pm

um, there’s a little category for “best trilogy that starred *both* a rebounding scientologist *and* a future pitchwoman for diet products” that you seem to have forgotten.

luckily that can be remedied in three simple words: look. who’s. talkling.

as for the cavs (who?) all i can say is this: today i had a dentist appointment. for some reason i was so paranoid about missing it, that i ended up being 20 minutes early and therefore had to sit in the waiting room, reading popluar mechanics, and dreading the coming dental work. i repeatedly reminded myself that for next year’s appointment i’m going to be late instead of early.

why do i bring this up? because i should have reminded myself to be late for the start of this game. i don’t care what happens, the first quarter was the least enjoyable, least competent, least fun quarter of basketball i’ve ever seen.

yuck.

8 The Cavalier May 14, 2007 at 6:52 pm

LeBron is starting to wake up. Can you imagine if we bring it to the Lasers like we brought it in the 2st quarter, though?!?!

9 mcbias May 14, 2007 at 6:52 pm

Uh-oh, isn’t Becky treading on Sarah Spain territory? I smell a copyright infringement lawsuit! :-p And I would take Becky for free…but that would be because it would be payment enough to mock her when Vince Carter goes down with “embedded facial hair” or “headband rash” or “ingrown toenail” in Game 6.

10 The Cavalier May 14, 2007 at 7:00 pm

GO INSIDE CAVS!!!! PLEASE!

11 mcbias May 14, 2007 at 7:07 pm

The Cavalier, you know that NBA backboards contain a small but statistically significant quantity of kryptonite. Lebron and VC are too smart to get close to the hoop itself, is all.

12 Nets fan May 14, 2007 at 7:22 pm

Is Becky hot? pics necessary

13 becky May 14, 2007 at 7:24 pm

mcb-
that is why it was a JOKE. if I were really a self-involved attention whore behemoth, I would have gone about it in a serious manner. as it were, I am not, and will probably buy my own tickets if I can go.

14 becky May 14, 2007 at 7:25 pm

plus, haven’t you noticed I mock Vince more than ANYONE?

15 The Cavalier May 14, 2007 at 7:30 pm

Becky is hot – it’s been verified.

16 mcbias May 14, 2007 at 7:39 pm

Points taken, Becky. We could mock VC together then, and I could save the real barbed comments for when the Cavs win the game itself. Better?

And yes, Nets fan, Becky is reasonably attractive, although not to the degree that I would rush to Expedia.com anytime soon.

17 Brandon Dean Price May 14, 2007 at 8:03 pm

You guys are forgetting all the answers.

18 mcbias May 14, 2007 at 8:08 pm

Oh, and yes, Becky, I knew it was a joke. I’m just bad at adding onto existing jokes. That’s it for me for now on commenting.

19 Guzzler May 14, 2007 at 8:22 pm

Someone tell Laura Huggies that just because you make a few shots it doesn’t mean you jack up every fucking shot this side of Vince Carter

20 Guzzler May 14, 2007 at 8:24 pm

Mikki Moore=HOF.

21 becky May 14, 2007 at 8:30 pm

geez mcb, I’m RIGHT HERE.

22 Guzzler May 14, 2007 at 8:40 pm

Sasha is gonna kill Vince.

23 The Cavalier May 14, 2007 at 8:41 pm

Please give all of Larry’s shots to Sasha, if only so we can get more of him blowing off Vince Carter’s trash talk by saying “I can’t hear you.”

24 Guzzler May 14, 2007 at 8:43 pm

Maybe Vince was asking him where he learned to run like a girl, since he plays like one(ok bad joke)

25 The Cavalier May 14, 2007 at 8:47 pm

More long jumpers – go farther out LeBron!

26 Guzzler May 14, 2007 at 8:50 pm

I love the leBron poopy face. Like when a call goes against him, it looks like someone rubbed shit on his nose…

27 Guzzler May 14, 2007 at 8:54 pm

Prediction: we make 1/2, Prince comes down, nails a 3 to win it. Forgetting about his bum knee,he jumps for joy and out of nowhere, Darko comes out, punches him in the knee, and Screams “SAAAAAAAASHAAAAAA!”

28 Guzzler May 14, 2007 at 9:00 pm

Reggie Miller should condole Vincefor his choke job

29 becky May 14, 2007 at 9:01 pm

Vince Carter should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

30 The Cavalier May 14, 2007 at 9:08 pm

How badly will Vince mail it in Wednesday on a scale of 1-10, 10 being “walking up and down the court”?

31 Nets fan May 14, 2007 at 9:12 pm

Ok that was the worst play ever seen, n prolly the most predictable one yet. Haven’t the Nets learned the lesson throughout the season that teams know that VC iso is the easiest play to pick apart? And what the hell was he doing backing down Eric Snow inside the arc when they needed to get a 3?

32 dave May 14, 2007 at 9:17 pm

why is the ball not in jason kidd’s hands for the last play? hmmm?

33 becky May 14, 2007 at 9:21 pm

dave-
that’s what I said. only with a lot more capital letters and question marks and exclamation points. oh, and f-bombs. there were a lot of f-bombs too.

34 becky May 14, 2007 at 9:23 pm

so a gut wrenching loss AND being told I’m really just not that hot, all in the span of a few hours.
which way to the warm bath?

35 The SP May 14, 2007 at 9:28 pm

Cav this is off topic but isn’t the BDP going out with your sister? I wouldn’t have none of that.

36 dave May 14, 2007 at 9:29 pm

becky i can tell you’re hot by the way you type

37 Brandon Dean Price May 14, 2007 at 9:34 pm

The SP should go fetch Becky some water

38 Boney May 14, 2007 at 9:37 pm

How about this Nets’ fans? How about, I haven’t watched a game in which Vince Carter has played (I’m being honest here, believe me or not…) since he was at UNC with Antawn Jamison. He was sorta explosive then, albeit a little overrated. OK? Now that I’ve said that, here are my thoughts on tonight’s game:

1. Vince Carter might as well stay in NJN. Yeah, he might get 16-18mil per season, but he will never be worthy of “Team Centerpiece” status. The way he dribbles the ball makes me want him to just give the ball to Varejao so I can watch Varejao lumber (with all his non-athletic ability) down the court for a 2 handed whiff at the basket. VC is absolutely ridiculous with his half-assed drives to the basket and attempted finger rolls. I thought he was more explosive? Did he hurt his vagina in Game 3? Is it still swollen?

Vince Carter is quite possibly the most overrated player in the NBA, and that’s with me only watching 1 full game of his career, tonight. I have watched nuggets here and there of his games, but I have never watched an entire game of VC and the cancer he spreads on the offensive end of the court with his ball hogging ways.

2. Anderson Varejao wouldn’t be on the active roster on most other teams in the NBA. He has no athletic ability, and he whines almost as much as SHEED! Yeah “Andy”, even though you hold your arms up doesn’t mean you can bump RJ out of bounds when he drives baseline.

3. It’s time for Drew Gooden to get a wider headband. It’s either his head is too large for a headband (I have the same problem), or he just needs a wider headband like the ones SHEED and Richard Hamilton wear.

4. How can anyone spend money to go sit at the “Swamp” to watch an NBA game? I keep waiting for Hakim Warrick and the Syracuse Men’s Basketball team to come running out for Midnight Madness… Again, a lot of fans came dressed at empty seats.

5. The Cavalier, becky is too smart of a gal to bother with a schlep like me. Besides, NJ is close enough for me to drive! I coulda left at lunch and taken her to dinner and the game.

6. Ok, so here’s a positive thought about the Nets at least. Jason Collins, Josh Boone and Mikki Moore have a full summer of WNBA action to look forward to during this NBA off-season. I know a Detroit fan shouldn’t talk bad about “out of shape” players (see Cecil Fielder, Oliver Miller, Terry Mills, etc), but Jason Collins looks absolutely ridiculous in a tank top and shorts. How come Jaren Collins is so much more lean than Jason? Aren’t they twins??? Don’t twins usually look alike???

Anywho, I’m looking forward to a Lasers vs. LeBrons series. At least noone on the Cavs will wear wine colored stockings with their away uniforms.

39 Boney May 14, 2007 at 10:05 pm

Ok, one more thing I forgot…

7. Whenever they show Coach Mike on the sideline shot, how come I can I always see every tooth in his mouth?

8. I bet Apocolypto (sp?) was worse than Spiderman 3.

40 The Cavalier May 14, 2007 at 10:06 pm

I liked Apocalypto.

41 Boney May 14, 2007 at 10:13 pm

wtf? You just tainted this entire list of trilogies by saying you liked that steaming pile of a movie.

42 The Cavalier May 14, 2007 at 10:45 pm

Story was not so great, but if I’m playing the film snob, it was beautifully shot. There’s lots to like in there.

43 becky May 14, 2007 at 10:50 pm

I’m sorry but is the BDP calling me ugly now? Is that what’s going on? What did I ever do to you people???

44 Brandon Dean Price May 14, 2007 at 10:59 pm

You know the BDP said no such thing. I would… no… never. Just tryin to help my man the SP, or woman, or whatever the SP is.

45 mcbias May 15, 2007 at 12:04 pm

Becky–besides be a Nets fan, you mean?! j/k No, sorry, I looked this over again today, and a gentleman (or any man who can’t run really fast) should be smarter than to comment on a lady’s looks when she’s around. I didn’t mean to be disparaging, just informational, but that was a case of TMI from me. My bad.

46 JONESONTHENBA May 15, 2007 at 10:50 pm

I am very upset that I missed out on most of this conversation. I love that left a link for Boney to expedia? What happended to Boney’s buddy Fios? I noticed Becky just finished up law school. Where did you spend your three years of hell, Becky? Okay, I’m asking too many questions now. The only reason I even came into this thread is because I heard the world famous B-D-P was chilling in here. I know this post is about movies that have been made three times over, so here’s my two cents: Where the hell is the GODFATHER on that list? Also I agree that Rocky IV was exceptional, but Rocky III was just so-so. Here’s my order for the Rocky Movies:

Rocky: A classic in every sense of the word
Rocky IV: The man singlehandedly ended the cold war with this movie
Rocky II: “A yo Adrian…I DID IT!”
Rocky III: I personally enjoyed when Mr. T tried to tell Adrian to come over to his place so he could show her what a real man was like…”You ain’t so bad”
Rocky Balboa: Uh, how many scenes with Adrians grave did we have to be subjected to? And how did he fight again? Wasn’t he brain dead. I think Rocky V was so bad that they tried to act like it never even existed. I mean they didn’t even start Rocky 6 with the end of the previous movie (like they did in every other Rocky).
Rocky V: Worst. Movie. Ever. “Hit me and I’ll sue…”

47 The Cavalier May 15, 2007 at 10:58 pm

I think Stallone said that Rocky Balboa was like a logical extension of the original Rocky or something. Personally, I thought it was terrible.

I love Rocky III and IV – rewatching IV is funny when you realize it’s just a series of montages followed by the final fight, which is also a montage. III is great in it’s cheesiness – Rocky is suddenly articulate, tan, and shredded.

I also love Rocky V, and I know I’m the only person on Earth to feel that way. Stallone himself basically said it doesn’t count – he was asked one good memory about it, and he had nothing. Keep in mind his son was co-starring with him.

SUE ME FOR WHAT?

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