Since nobody is very interested in the Spurs going up 2-0 on the Jazz (even Jazz blogs are kinda like, “man, being here is neat.”), let’s get back to the NBA Draft Lottery’s stunning use of karmic energy.
Both of the teams most often accused of losing on purpose to gain a better draft position – the Celtics and the Grizzlies – dropped as low as they could last night. That’s a great stroke of luck for fans of the rest of the teams, who this morning are feeling zero sympathy for either franchise.
Most would tell you they got what they deserved, especially Boston, which was so blatant about their tanking that GM Danny Ainge all but admitted it when he extended Coach Doc after the season ended.
Others, primarily Bostonians like Bob Ryan, are whining about the Celtics being cursed, which is absurd.
Who did what to whom? Was it decided that 16 championships in 30 years was somehow unfair and obscene, and that enough was enough and the Celtics are never going to get another break again and that’s that?
Because that’s what it looks like. Nothing else can explain how the Celtics continue to suffer the wrath of powerful unseen forces determined to make their lives miserable.
You Boston fans are so funny – you weren’t “entitled” to Oden or Durant – they weren’t cruelly ripped from your grasp by the boogie-man or something.
Shall we go through the list of things that have happened to the Celtics and explain why this isn’t “bad luck”? This is just off the top of our head:
1) Len Bias died of a cocaine overdose. He didn’t die in a car crash, or via a freak blood transfusion, or by getting mugged on the front porch of his home while drinking lemonade. He was a stupid kid who did too much blow, and your braintrust was too inept to figure out he wasn’t an angel. This is not bad luck.
2) Reggie Lewis died of an alleged cocaine overdose. (We’ll always believe this btw. He was a good guy, so the truth got covered, especially since it was way after the fact.)
3) You lost the Tim Duncan lottery in 1997 because the team with the worst record almost never gets the first pick. (2003 was a notable and welcome exception!) Much like Oden/Durant, Timmy was not your property who suddenly was taken away from you. Also, the 1997 NBA Draft Lottery was high on cocaine.
4) Antoine Walker. Twice.
5) Danny Ainge traded the pick that became Rookie of the Year Brandon Roy for Sebastian Telfair, who already had several gun charges against him, and has since gotten enough additional gun charges to be released by the team altogether. This is not bad luck – this is bad decision-making. Also, he’s almost surely done lots of cocaine.
6) Red Auerbach died. Okay, this was sad and everything, but Red Auerbach was 89 years old. Were you under the impression he was an immortal?
In short – stop freaking whining. You want to go through a list of curses and/or bad luck, try being from Cleveland. (And that would be all of our teams, not just one of them.) Jacobs Field had “Era of Champions” written across the outfield wall in the late 90s because of a string of Central Division Championships. Do you know how embarrassing that is?
Before that, the Indians were so bad for 40 straight years that they inspired an entire movie franchise. Our football team left altogether. LeBron was salvation, and now he says he’s cool with losing as long as everyone tries hard, which for most of the past 9 months, he hasn’t even done himself.
Just go enjoy your All-Universe football team, your 2004 World Series Championship, your 47-game lead over the Yankees, your 16 championship banners, and stop making up reasons to cry.
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hey, give the Celtics a break, they haven’t been to the conference finals since 2002.
i don’t think we’re cursed. i don’t think most celtics fans believe that. we just didn’t get the top pick, like many other teams.
one point of contention, though, The Cav: the deaths of len bias and reggie lewis weren’t bad luck because they overdosed on cocaine? ok, maybe it wasn’t bad luck for them, but unless we provided them the cocaine, it was definitely bad luck for us, wouldnt you say?
Well it’s bad luck, but it’s not “Celtics-related” bad luck. Like, this didn’t happen because they were associated with the Celtics.
The Cavs, on the other hand…http://youtube.com/watch?v=U3_G-3e5uCs Yuck. Hey Drew Gooden, so much for any correlation between height and intelligence.
well thats some convoluted logic right there, dude. i will stick to my assertion that if your top pick drops dead of a drug overdose they day after you draft him, your team has been handed a bit of bad luck
Bad luck, but not a curse.
This is the best post on the Celtics drop that I’ve seen yet. Well done.
Damn.. u crossed the line cavalier…
Len Bias died of OD on his first toke. i didnt even read the rest, bias was a good kid who died on an unlucky 1st toke.
Please- somebody check Bill Simmons for a pulse! I’m very worried.
Hey- do you realize that four years ago the Cleveland Cavaliers were the worst team in the league, and now they are in the Eastern Conference Finals?* Perspective is Awesome with a capital “A”!
*Which they will win in five games.
Uh- killing yourself on cocaine after being taken that high in the NBA draft is really stupid, dude; no matter how much of a “good kid” you are. Sometimes we make our own luck, you know- and some people are really stupid about doing it.
Yes, isn’t it convenient that it was his “first time”. I’m sure he didn’t even do it himself – there were probably a crazy series of coincidences (also not his fault) that resulted in him being unconscious and people shoving it up his nose.
please forgive my son matt. he’s an idiot. he was born that way. not just for the fact that i took a drunken heeb of a sailor into my bed (or toilet, if you want to get technical about the “spots” and “stains”), but because i stopped to eat an elephant ear with some dr. pepper mid-labor.
what he meant to say was “detroit in five.” (don’t mind his backlash- he has tourettes.)
until bias, nobody knew coke could kill you like that. general belief was coke gradually killed u after much prolonged abuse of the substance.
anyone forgetting about Yi Jianlian? Celts could take him, he is gonna be better than dirk and yao. After 5 years at least, tho. ahaks. poor celts. i dont like the teams colours and all that. chicago anytime.
Look, according to a play I saw at Solon High School when I was in 5th grade, if someone spikes the punch with cocaine, you become addicted and kill yourself. Face the facts people.
Hey- my mom doesn’t drink Dr. Pepper! That’s just mean.
i would be much happier if we got brewer or conley. that chinese dude is too much of a question mark.
don’t forget Red Auerbach’s lifelong wicked cocaine habit. You know he died because the Celtics created a cheerleading team.
brewer is good, but he wont turn a franchise around. the celts are doomed i say
Solon – the mysterious land on the other side of Twinsburg. It perplexed me in my youth.
actually that goddamn dance team irritates me more than just about anything else they’ve done. talk about shitting on the franchise.
they will be better next year just having pierce and jefferson on the floor together for the whole season, though. i smell 40 wins.
now don’t mock me for being too optimistic! if im too negative you’ll call me a crybaby.
dave you can have a pass on that 40-win prediction today because I assume you’re in some sort of “sadness/delirium” state of mind which causes unrealistic expectations. 40 wins it is!
Hooray! Bill Simmons is alive! And really, REALLY down.
“For all intent and purpose, professional basketball had just been murdered in the city of Boston.”
And appearances by J-Bug and JackO, not to mention Dad! That was totally worth refreshing ESPN every five minutes for the last three hours.
cav, are you by all means a pessemist? do you think whsm will flop? do you have to believe you are the best to be able to get thru the day?
sorry, just using that Cartman psychology thing on you
that episode with the nanny thing
you have the coolest blog and i know whsm will major domo rule. i’ll be buying it so like put something cool in there that would promote me buying it like a cool sticker or a poster or a special thingy that is better than ripping it off the net. much appreciated cav
btw wtf is Solon?
If you live in Solon you have a 99% chance of being rich.
bill simmons – now there’s a goddamn drama queen. boo hoo
The Cav – if the celtics don’t win at least 40 games next year, I will….I don’t know what I’ll do. But I’m open to friendly wagers.
40 games with the team they have now + the draft pick? I don’t see it, but if they can pull off a good trade or two maybe.
i think they could have won 40 this year if pierce stayed healthy and they didn’t play half the season with sebastian telfair at starting point guard, throwing passes into the seats and stuff.
not that 40 games is a whole lot. its still sub .500
trade for zach randolph mavs!
solon high school? you got to come stronger than that, man!
like, i don’t know, maybe…canton mckinley.
look, i know the streets of solon are mean and all, but when an allegedly championship caliber solon squad gets beat in the playoffs by mckinley something like 66 to 36 (i think this was in 2006), i’ve got to question the basketball iq of the entire town.
that’s right: i’m talking smack about high school boys basketball.
why? because i’m bored. so very bored. and nobody is talking about cake.*
* for the love of god, can’t we get back on the cake? the cavalier made promises, so many promises…
The Celtics dumped the Brandon Roy pick to get rid of Raef LaFrentz’s ridiculous contract, money which will probably to Al Jefferson. Yes, it looks like a mistake now, but it’s a lot easier to blame them in hindsight.
You can use the same logic for the entire NBA and Gilbert Arenas and Carlos Boozer, too. It’s an easy argument.
The system is flawed. I don’t want my franchise’s future being decided by a lottery. Think about it…A LOTTERY. People’s jobs are being affected by some ping pong balls and how they bounce around. I get that it’s supposed to prevent tanking, but that doesn’t work either.
C’mon now, y’all are forgetting about the true NBA news of the day: Tayshuan Prince is being invited to play on Team USA! Truly though, thats a smart move for them.
Whats all this trade Randolph stuff I’m reading? (Although I understand it from your side Zack K) Does nobody else think Oden and Randolph would compliment each other pretty damn well? Imagine how dynamic this front line will be in the near future: Aldrigde, Randolph, and Oden. I don’t know if the Roy & Jack backcourt will ever be great, but still.
Oh man, Pistons-Spurs II is gonna be SWWEEEEETT!
Go Maxiell
1- The lottery is great fun. And it may not prevent tanking, but it at lest dissuades it. Can you imagine the last 40 games of the season at BOS, MEM, MIL or ATL if they seeded the draft in simple reverse standings order? The Celtics would have been playing the janitor and the concessions guy.
2- When a kid dies with a cocaine OD, it’s tragic, but it’s not bad luck. Even if it’s the very first time, that kid had to make a decision to get high on coke. Luck has nothing to do with it. And if you’re throwing a lottery pick and the future of your franchise onto a guy whom you didn’t suspect did hard drugs… that’s not bad luck, that’s bad drafting.
Is Solon rich now? It wasn’t when I lived there … Chagrin Falls was where the rick kids lived
Also, I’m reluctant to engage in hyperbole but tonight’s effort is by far LeBron’s best
I don’t completely disagree that the lottery can be fun, nor do I disagree that tanking would be much worse. I just think the system needs to be looked at. As it stands now, the odds of the worst teams getting a good pick are so small. It just blows my mind that the two worst teams in the NBA, had roughly a 7 in 10 chance of NOT getting the first two picks. How does that make sense?
Full disclosure: A Celtics fan, but I’m far more interested in Danny Ainge’s poor work and the bad contracts being handed out across the NBA than actually watching the team. The Celtics could play Oden, Pierce, Al Jefferson, Kobe Bryant, and Steve Nash and I still wouldn’t watch until the playoffs.
I hate this game!!!
Yea Solon is established as a new rich community. Chagrin Falls is where everybody runs to hide from things, also rich.
I grew up in Chagrin Falls. Solon is where we went to McDonalds and Arbys. Cooler retail zoning laws.
Len Bias’ nickname was “Frosty.” It was right on his funeral program. I wonder how he got that?
Yay for Twinsburg, my personal homeland. Though now I’m representing (can I say that?) Sagamore Hills, I’ll always be from Twinsburg.
Also, you didn’t have to be from any specific city on the east side to be rich… you just had to go to University School… like I did!
haha… comment explosion! time: http://www.miamiherald.com/588/story/116951.html
All that noise coming from a coach that walked out on his team when they began to struggle, and then came back when they were good again… that’s why I will never like Pat Riley.
WE WILL NEVER FORGET
thanks sp.
Paul Teeple’s package is tiny
Man, your mom’s got a big mouth.
Hey, I just solved the lottery/tanking problem! I’m sooooo much a genius.
Here it is: just do as in Europe. Relegate the two worst teams in the NBA to the D-league. Yeah Doc Rivers, you want to play Bassy Telfair and Brian Scalabrine? How’s a season of playing the Idaho Stampede sound like?
Sure, some kinks would’ve to be worked out, like, I don’t think Greg Oden would want to face the Forth Worth Flyers. But threaten teams with demotion to the D-League, and the risk of tanking is solved.
No regular season game would be boring ever again!
I kind of like that.
What if the worst two teams in the league get murdered? That would be tension filled and profitable for life insurance benficiaries.
…or we could just have the worst two teams fight it out. With guns. That would even be a situation where Bassy Telfair would come in useful for the Celts.
poopoo is smelly. even when you eat fruit.
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