Vince Carter and His Soccer Uniform are cramping up

by The Cavalier on May 8, 2007 · 13 comments

Tuesday was a unique day for us for many a reason, not the least of which is that we can say we were legitimately excited to watch the Cavaliers for the first time since roughly November.

To our delight, they beat New Jersey in confident (if not beautiful) fashion, and are now up 2-0 in the series.

We’d love to go all into what’s become the ridiculous offensive rebounding advantage CLE has, but we’re left instead with Vince Carter and His Soccer Uniform lying on the floor late in the 4th quarter…with a cramp.

This is, of course, a curious case of the joke that has already written itself. How does one expand upon Vince Carter and His Soccer Uniform costing his team a point in a tight game because he’s writhing on the floor…with a cramp?

“Owww!” Vince Carter and His Soccer Uniform said of the injury. “My stockings, thigh guards, and other assorted leg wraps failed to protect me from everything they were supposed to.”

When asked to explain how he might change his approach for Game 3, Carter and His Soccer Uniform laughed. “Oh, I don’t care. You pick something.”

Truth be told, Carter and His Soccer Uniform didn’t have a bad game if you look at the box score. The other side of that is actually watching his game on a play-by-play basis. Do Nets fans spend 50% of the game screaming at the guy to go to the hole? To use his talents for good, and not aggravation?

As for the Cavaliers, the offense is pretty ugly, but they’ve managed to buckle down and get it done in the fourth quarter of these games. Add in the offensive rebounding thing, and the Cavs are able to win while shooting like 10% less than the Nets. They get like 20 more shots per game, which TNT announcer Doug Collins taught us in 140 separate sentences over 2+ hours.

(Just a small question here – when you get into the bonus with 10 minutes left in the fourth, how are you not posting up someone – anyone – every single time down the floor?)

Alas, all of this is nice – up 2-0 is clearly better than 0-2 or 1-1. THAT SAID, it’s difficult to project what it means for the next game, let alone anything past that – these are the 06-07 Cavaliers, after all. They tend to do just enough to win, and whether they can up that ante to include non-Washington/Jersey teams is a mystery.

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The EXPLOSION of Vince Carter and His Soccer Uniform at YAYsports! NBA
May 9, 2007 at 7:40 am


1 Jephos May 8, 2007 at 11:43 pm

sasha sasha sasha

He’s like mini-lebron.

2 matt May 9, 2007 at 6:48 am

Is that Dennis Farina’s hair?

3 The Cavalier May 9, 2007 at 7:04 am

Where’s Boney? Doesn’t he need to remind us of something about the Pistons, or show agitation that Cavs fans are cheering for their team?

4 andrew Gregg May 9, 2007 at 8:03 am
5 becky May 9, 2007 at 8:20 am


6 The Cavalier May 9, 2007 at 8:28 am

Yeah I thought I might be low on that.

7 becky May 9, 2007 at 8:38 am

I have things to say. They will be said after my final tonight.

8 Boobies May 9, 2007 at 9:42 am

I love you Becky!

9 roger May 9, 2007 at 10:07 am

I was at the game, but kind of high (topographically, 4 rows below the top row) and a little drunk. When Carter went down I was all, “Sniper!” It’s kind of hard to tell what’s going on from way up there. The Cavs won right?

10 Ben May 9, 2007 at 10:24 am

I’m with ya on the ‘no post ups despite the bonus’ stuff. What the hell is up with that? But are we really surprised that they shot jumpers after getting the Nets in early foul trouble?

11 Frank May 9, 2007 at 10:42 am

We haven’t really posted them up much at all. Most of Drew’s and Z’s points are coming off of offensive rebounds or by being set up by LeBron/Larry. I think it’s because they have 6 guys in the paint most of the time, but I think the Cavs could force the issue a little more.

12 Posting Up May 9, 2007 at 2:41 pm

The Cavs probably tried not to post up because they didn’t want to have to miss any more free throws. Maybe not a bad idea last night. (but they will need to, to stay on their run)

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