Game Two is on its Way
Published by Jack Cobra June 8th, 2007 in NBA, All-Star Games, Boobs, Allen Iverson, Girls, Adam Morrison, ABC
(Jack Cobra is signing off after this post and going to drink heavily this weekend)
Game Two of the NBA Finals comes up on Sunday and in case The Cavalier doesn’t let you know what needs to be done…..here it is for you. Is my computer jacked up or is that practice uni pink?
First of all, Boobie must play. All Cavs fans should wear bra’s padded with balloons at their first home game and before the starting lineup is introduced they should unhook those bra’s and let out the boobies (balloons). If the Cavs marketing people actually do that, I will sue. Boobie needs to play more, case closed. Two, Drew Gooden needs to play more than 30 minutes, get double digit rebounds and stay out of foul trouble. I believe those all go hand in hand, like boobies, no? Third, run an offense. Everyone knows, but I couldn’t leave it out. To have only nine assists for a game is ridiculous. Fourth, the Cavs need to get some easy buckets. One way or another they need to get out on the break and either get some easy buckets or at least get to the free throw line. Five, Big Z needs to make some shots (plural). Six, Mike Brown needs to come down with a case of food poisoning (karma states that it will actually happen to me now). Seven, keep Tony Parker out of the lane, he makes good decisions that lead to easy buckets. Eighth, they need to double team Tim Duncan immediately and make the Spurs shooters beat them.
See how easy that was? I should be the coach of the Cavs, or at least get paid that much. I’d have wicked glasses too. Enjoy your weekend kids.
30 Responses to “Game Two is on its Way”
- 1 Trackback on Dec 13th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
- 2 Trackback on Dec 22nd, 2007 at 7:27 pm
- 3 Trackback on Feb 19th, 2008 at 12:33 am
FYI -
When I get aroused I shoot Patriot Missles from my erection.
I have been reading the recent posts on this site, and the comments on them. I have to tell you all that many years ago, when Coach Pop was in his first seasons with the SPURS, fans were asking for his head too. Even after winning one championship. Fans felt like he wasn’t doing enough to win. Look at him now. Keep with Brown, supoort him, he has a great basketball mind, along with a great support staff. If this doesn’t end up being the year the Cav’s win, it may come sooner than you may think. Don’t go hunting the head of you coach just yet. He’s taken you farther than any of your previous ones have!
FYI -
When I get aroused my erection explodes like an IED.
OLE! and CAKE!
You’re computer is messed up.
Just happy to be here
Not very happy to be here right now.
That was sort of like the sex I used to have in prison, except without all the spooning afterwards.
Cavs in Six!
If the Cavs are as bad as they look, the teams they beat to get here must really suck.
No way- New Jersey matches up like a mofo with the Spurs. Mikki Moore would own the boards. Remember: that’s like “Mikey”, not “Mickey”.
TVBrain,
either that or Boobie was hitting shots he’ll never hit again in his life…
I called it last year when I said “Damon Jones will never hit a shot like that again” when he beat the Wiz with his buzzer beater.
I’ll call it this year “Boobie will never be anything more than a bit player on any team in the NBA”. There’s a reason he was a 2nd round pick. There’s a reason they wanted Mike Bibby, which would have buried Gibson on the bench.
I’m not sure that just because he was a 2nd round pick means that he’s not going to become a good NBA player. Gilbert Arenas and Monte Ellis are examples of players taken in the 2nd round that have done pretty well.
Just another annoying reminder to e-mail cavsparty@gmail.com if you want to go to a Cavs watch party for Game 3. And wow, was Game 2 hard to recap…that was painful.
Boner:
Boobie Gibson is shooting 62% from the floor, 50% from behind the arc in the NBA Finals as a rookie. He was a 2nd rond pick because he refused to work out for anybody but the Rockets and the Cavs.
If Boobie hadn’t stepped up in Game 6 of the ECF then LeBron woulda just kicked your ass like he did in Game 5.
You have made it to the finals. Congratulations!!
(Let me know if anyone remembers two years from now)
boney:
please take note that i am hereby “calling” that the sun will rise tomorrow.
this is slightly more impressive than your “call” about damon jones in the summer of 2006.
why on earth would you think that recognizing damon jones as worthless last year gives you any credibility?
I stuffed my patriot missile in Boney’s mouth.
p.s. I think he liked it.
it’s okay guyz!!1 This happened in the last series. Cleveland LeBrons in 6!
i love how espn.com has a story on its front page about how the playoff system must surely be fixed because the east cant match the west. christ, i guess thats what a slow day must get you.
on another note, here’s a shameless plug for a blog i post on where we’re chronicling the finals game by game.
because you need something to read at work.
Cav just because you’re in Cleveland doesn’t mean you can’t post for 3 days. Get to work son.
Yes, I’m sure Boobe will never hit wide open three-pointers again in his life.
Oh wait…
My computer is in at Geek Squad - I don’t leave for Cleveland until tomorrow…I have no way to get into the site until I have my computer back. We’ve also been shooting the past 3 days, but I had no way to tell you guys. I am lost, and locked out. The wilderness is scary!
btw this movie is going to kick everyone’s arse, if I haven’t already said that 150 times over the past year. SMILEY FACE HERE>
Hey Jack Cobra - could you like post an update to this post (or a new one altogether) reprinting my last comment? Thanks yo - what a horrible time to be inactive on the site. btw I am still just happy to be in the Finals, although their malaise last game was a little reminiscent of the team I swore off multiple times this season.
Hey another “Orange Roundie” sighting.
http://www.dailymail.com/story/News/2007061124/W-Va-students-get-NBA-players-castoffs/
uh-oh…
http://www.dailymail.com/story/News/2007061124/W-Va-students-get-NBA-players-castoffs/
more unauthorized us of the phrase “orange roundie”?!
Thus I stopped watching in the second quarter to watch my recording of ‘The Sopranos’ and it’s “brilliant” ending. Yes, I get the point but it’s been done, it was brilliant when Nichols used it in ‘The Graduate,’ now it’s a bit hack. Chase hasn’t had a clear idea of what to do with that series for two seasons now and it shows.
Fios I was so pissed at the Sopranos ending. Felt like I got robbed.
I never watched the Sopranos - was the ending universally hated?
Here is my assessment per an email I sent to friends:
Guys who are completely worthless . . .
Larry Hughes (just egregiously worthless)
Donyell Marshall (went from 0 to worthless in 8 seconds flat at some point last off-season)
Damon Jones (but inexplicably will still be guarded. I have yet to see him make consecutive shots)
Guys who are not worthless, but are scared like little, tiny babies . . .
Z
Sasha (50% of the time – shoot the freaking ball)
Guy who forget where they are and how they got there every 5 to 10 minutes . . .
Drew Gooden (although this prevents him from being scared, which is nice)
Sasha (50% of the time – allows him to charge into guy positionally established in the lane for 3 to 5 minutes)
Playing up-to or greater than potential . . .
B00bie!
Varajeo
Getting guarded by a lot of people . . .
LeBron (They were actually getting him the ball on the elbows! But they were already down 20 at that point).
Guy who is too . . . . . . . slow . . . . . . to . . . . . . pull . . . . . . . the . . . . . . . . . . . trigger . . . . . . . .
Mike Brown. Dude, make quicker substitutions. Hughes is not your friend. And LeBron can’t sit for that long, 2 fouls or not.