YAYsports! NBA

(Jack Cobra…..That is not a picture of Greg Oden.)

Three years ago I bought a chimpanzee and named him ‘Ralph’, this you did not know. Most of my friends were ‘weirded out’ by him at first, but he comes in handy at parties and barbeques. Over the past three years I’ve been able to teach him to do elementary tasks such as turning on the computer, buying me Red Bull, using the toilet and giving me my daily schedule. It can be frustrating at times, but rewarding too. This morning Ralph came to me and let me know that the NBA Draft is coming up in less than a week. He did not speak these words, since chimps can’t talk, but he wrote it down. Anyways, as I took a shower this morning I was trying to figure out how to cover the draft for YAYSports. Shall I do a mock draft? No, everyone does those. Maybe I’ll try to guess who the Cavs will select in the first round? Nope, no first round pick. Maybe I’ll make fun of Danny Ainge? Already did that. Maybe I’ll just talk about who will be chosen first? Done and about to be done.

Greg Oden flew in an airplane to Oregon this week to workout for the team with the first pick in the draft…..the Portland Trailblazers. While Oden didn’t have an ‘out of this world’ workout, it was good enough to solidify him as the #1 pick in the draft. He also had this quote, since I’m all about quotes today:

After his workout with Portland, Oden was asked whether he likened himself more to Shaquille O’Neal or Bill Russell. Without hesitation he answered,” Russell.”

“Ten fingers, 11 rings,” he explained.

Question: What will he do with the 11th ring? Will he sell it? Maybe he will melt it down and mold it into a bullet with which he could kill a wild antelope?

Back to basketball, sorry. Portland will take Oden with the first pick in the draft. I guarantee you this. If Oden is not the first pick next Thursday…..I will write up a post in German on next Friday. (If you prefer a different language, leave your preference in the comment portion of this post) Portland will still bring Kevin Durant in for a workout, but there is no way you can pass on a 7-foot antelope killing monster like Oden. His first season in Portland his main responsibility will be to block shots and play D as speedy point guards drive right by Sergio Rodriguez, or whoever Portland’s point guard will be. After that his responsibilities will center around killing antelopes and bringing championships to the greater Portland area.