The NBA Draft is Thursday, and it’s debatable whether the big news is where Oden, Durant, the Chinese Guy, and all the rest will end up OR where the burgeoning cluster of tradable NBA All-Stars* fall to in the endgame.
Basically, you’ve got Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, Jermaine O’Neal, Paul Pierce, Pau Gasol, and Ron Artest on the block and/or available. We’ll include Shawn Marion because he’s seemingly always out there, as well. (This doesn’t even take into account Vince Carter…on purpose.)
(BOS fans, save your breath. PP is available/disgruntled whether you accept it or not. At the very least, for the purposes of this exercise, we’re playing it as such.)
Now, we could sit here and go through all the various rumors for days on end. This is all irrelevant and readily available elsewhere. What matters is where we want these players to end up.
Also irrelevant for the purposes of this exercise is whether any of the following is possible – these are simply the best storylines for the superstar and/or expiring blogger.
Kevin Garnett – KG in PHX is probably the best case scenario. He and Nash together should be pretty much unstoppable, but considering the histories of both players, they won’t make it to the Finals. The drama here would be massive. Is KG just not meant to have it happen? Is Steve Nash the composite Amanda Bynes?
Kobe Bryant – Kobe in CHI chasing the MJ legacy bores the heck out of us for some reason. Kobe in NYC with the Knicks? That’s gold. He’ll be expected to win, Isiah is the coach, all the media pressure, etc. It’s a massive stage and that means it’s big and stuff. This also injects an enormous amount of additional angst into Stephon Marbury, which is always fun.
Jermaine O’Neal – We’re not sure how this one plays out. The rumors on him always involve Kobe, so it’s like LA or bust. Whether Kobe is there or not, it’s kind of a non-story. We think the only interesting thing is if Jermaine ends up in someplace like Sacramento, where he’ll quietly retire in February. Sometime in 2009, the media will pick up on it and be like “Huh – that’s weird.”
Paul Pierce – We think the only interesting thing is if Paul ends up in someplace like Sacramento, where he’ll quietly retire in February. Sometime in 2009, the media will pick up on it and be like “Huh – that’s weird.”
Pau Gasol – We think the only interesting thing is if Pau ends up in someplace like Sacramento, where he’ll quietly retire in February. Sometime in 2009, the media will pick up on it and be like “Huh – that’s weird.”
There it is – oh, except for Shawn Marion. He’ll also be retiring from the Kings in February along with Ron Artest, who stay put. We’re telling you, the biggest story of 2009 will be when everyone starts to wonder how a line-up of Jermaine O’Neal, Paul Pierce, Pau Gasol, Ron Artest, and Shaun Marion not only didn’t make the Playoffs, but also drove each player into premature retirements.
*”Burgeoning Cluster of Tradable NBA All-Stars” is called writing, people. We did that without a degree, too.
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kobe to the knicks would be awesome on so many different levels. cav, use your influence to make this happen.
umm… didn’t SKEETS put up a similar thought process?
I think he did a “ridiculous trade” post involving many, many, many players, yes. This isn’t that…these are players who are legitmately on the block and where I would like to see them go.
THAT SAID, I also did one where every player in the NBA was traded about a year and a half ago. I looked, but I can’t find it. So it goes.
Here it is – December 2005. I had to find it – you guys know how I am about accusations of such things.
Here are some more notable posts – we really used to be good!
Zach Randolph overload.
Birth of a Mamba – truly a day that shall live in history.
Some KG poetry from way back.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Or “How the slightly above marginal sunk to the depths of the blog – o – sphere”.
I was a king once.
a greatest hits album is not a new album
I just asked a question, I didn’t make accusations bro..
And just think Boney, you’re the most prolific commenter here! Mind of Boney!
Awesome!
sweet!
I’m like that old lady in Sunset Boulevard.
I’m beginning to think Cav doesn’t want me around anymore.
STOP PICKING ON MY KID!!!
Is Amanda Bynes still too young to make comments about?
Mom!
Amanda Bynes is def over 18. Bang that lady out Cobra boy.
She’s like 20 or 21.
But she spends a lot of time running around dressed as a dude, at least if the number of times that god awful movie is on these days is any indication.
I am now fully judging you.
In sum:
Borderline pedophilia = cool
Attraction to drag kings = uncool
I’m talking about the Amanda Bynes that is on that tv show that seems to be on every day when I get home from work which also co-stars Jennie Garth, also hot. So, to sum it up….I’m looking at the (hopefully over 18 year old) Bynes from the tv show (the later years), not from when she dresses up as a dude (of which I’ve never seen).
Ok, I was feeling pretty dirty so I looked up Bynes on imdb.com. Here is what I came up with: She’s 21, so she’s very much fair game. She was on that TV show (which I guess still runs) from 2002-present and since I’m guessing they are running recent showings of it (based on Jennie Garth’s hotness) I’m going to say I’m in the safe there as well.
Jennie Garth is hot when she’s not dating Dylan on 90210
What I Like About You began production when she was 16 and ran until she was 20.
and heee’ssss BACK
wish he wasnt? well he has this to say: amanda bynes was hot once.
greg oden doesnt smoke reefer, he smokes chronic. chronic wrist pain.
TVBrain, I prefer to believe she was 18+ on the episodes I saw…..don’t ruin my dream! (It’s not really a dream so much as trying to make sure I’m not dirty)
goooooooooooooo TRIBE!
For the All-Stars … you forgot AK.
He might not be an All-Star now, but he was before.
And he could be if the Jazz used him correctly.
And you know he’s on the block, no matter what Kevin O’Connor says.
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